Heck No Pooh's Adventures

• 0:31 So he’s in love with a ballerina AND a unicorn?
• 2:16 And it lowers your graphics.
• 3:04 Tracy’s not a boy.
• 3:54 No, she can’t.
• 4:19 Miracle? She got pushed up! That completely butchers her character!
• 5:43 One thing I’ve always wondered - where exactly are these trains and how can they hear what’s being said?
• 6:27 Starlight Express? Uh, subtle?
• 8:40 How can Amos even be his uncle? He’s hand-drawn!
• 8:46 Didn’t the tracks just disappear?
• 9:00 [link]
• 12:06 You could say “Where did you ALL come from”, and the writing would be a tad better.
• 13:38 You killjoys.
• 13:55 Way to break the fourth wall.
• 13:57 No, she couldn’t. She couldn’t do it without her “friends”.
• 14:02 [link]
• 14:12 In terms of Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures.
• 16:41 Typical.
• 18:37 Good lord, another adventure video that has some relation to Titanic.

• Unfitting: 
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• Flawed train logic: 
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• Terrible grammar: 
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• Uselessness: 
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• Lengthiness: 
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Overall: 3/5

0.4/10. Though this is actually far from the worst of the Thomas+Twilight adventures, there are still flaws by the dozen. The positive bits are the shots and character developments that actually fit, explanation for train logic and the fact that someone actually used 3D software, but the biggest problems with this video are that Little Engine’s character is ruined by having a bunch of other cartoon trains shoving her up, the repetition, the confusion over who it’s targeting, the whole uncle business, the abysmal English, the change that gives certain dialogue questions they don’t need and the lack of consideration over the length of the video, as shown in that 24 minute animation. It ain’t T+TS’s Adventures of Father Christmas, Who Killed Who or Transformers, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck.

FERDINAND: That’s right!

Shut up, Ferdinand.

• 0:02 The only model I know that isn’t spot-on is Cerberus.
• 2:13 Half an hour of time was already lost.
• 3:08 Of all the times he could’ve cheered…
• 3:28 Not only has Thomas’ accent changed, but his voice too. Why?
• 3:53 Says the type of character that’s been derailed many times before.
• 4:37 Even if Thomas was just crashing into a rock, this still ruins Little Engine’s character. I mean Tracy’s.
• 5:28 Where did that wire fence even come from?
• 6:49 Oh, you gotta be kidding me. And this is coming from the mouth of a guy who turned a crappy Team Fortress 2 Applejack mod into a killing machine.
• 7:10 What’s with the voice changes?
• 7:18 (see 9:51, part 4)
• 7:54 Um, they’re called My LITTLE Pony for a reason.
• 8:46 How whould she know what a Draconequus is?
• 9:07 Whistling montage.
• 9:48 Woah, what the
• 10:17 He’s still alive because it bounced off of him.
• 10:34 She isn’t dead? She got shot! Unless that is supposed to be Daffy Duck logic, it surely ain’t fair!
• 11:37 The Battlefield? Oh, please.
• 12:16 He’s sending dogs to catch a bloody train.
• 12:20 “What are you think you’re doing”
• 12:34 This music made more sense in the Transformers video!
• 12:38 But that is sacrifice!
• 13:13 A certain amount of these trains are going to kill themselves crashing into Cerberus!
• 13:40 The most epic CG battle since [link].
• 14:04 Now what kind of good is that going to do?!
• 14:18 Nope, still dull, especially with the lack of sound effects. Who are these videos supposed to be targeting?
• 14:34 Spoiler alert.
• 15:10 You know, you could just cause chaos and prove successful.
• 15:36 What a bad use of a Frollo quote. 20 years?
• 16:02 What an absolute sissy.
• 16:30 Make sense the say you can’t believe it. Most of the time you do nothing.
• 16:54 Even though it was never meant to be.
• 17:15 Push her the hell up?

And now, my friends, the longest, most boring scene ever to happen in a Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventure. It’s two minutes longer than your average episode of Friendship is Magic, and far longer than any other part in the entire video. It also stretches the original film from 81 minutes to a measly 149 minutes, when without it it would have been 124 and a half minutes. Yes, this video is that long, so I leave you no choice to buckle up. It’s going to be one hell of a bumpy ride.

• 0:00 I appreciate Tony’s modelling and MMD skills, but why would he waste such talent on this? And why didn’t he rewrite any flawed English?
• 0:13 That’s supposed to be the sound of hooves?
• 0:49 I mean really. That is a damn well done replica of CabooPatrick WarburJust Patrick.
• 0:51 But it’s all so boring and not even the subtitles or the ponies’ lack of facial animation are doing it any justice!
• 1:27 Well, at least even though the ponies are too weak even to do that, they did something thanks to MikuMikuDance.
• 1:52 THERE ARE 22 MINUTES LEFT OF THIS.
• 1:54 Odd when someone has such poor grammar and yet they get “you’re” right.
• 2:52 Or maybe not.
• 2:56 I swear to God, there are 21 minutes left of this. We should get the damn point already.
• 4:13 Rarity was using unicorn magic, and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy helped out, yet you’re only giving Dash the credit?
• 5:09 Run, and this video would be much shorter!
• 5:44 How out of character. He’s supposed to say “That’s right!”
• 6:24 But where’s Twilight Sparkle? I thought this was her adventure!
• 7:17 As illogical as this is, even for a cartoon, I hope this is why those trains are such improbable travelers.
• 8:02 Clip-clopping really doesn’t work that way, especially on snow.
• 10:07 Oh, if only this was made when Twilight became an alicorn. That way she would have so much more.
• 10:25 Twilight Sparkle is practically a tortoise.
• 10:51 This Tonygoldwing guy seems to be very fond of that word.
• 11:59 Easy with the vocabulary, Goldwing.
• 13:23 Pinkie Pie’s more energetic than this.
• 13:45 See? If she just bounced her way along, this would be a bit shorter!
• 14:31 No, not slow! Fast! FAST!
• 15:14 FAAAAST!!!!!
• 19:30 Zzzz-wha? Huh? Oh, it’s still going. *sleeps*
• 23:49 *wakes up again* Finally. It’s over. It’s all over.
• 23:53 Exciting? It lasted 24 minutes when it could’ve been much shorter with better pacing!
• 23:58 The best? Better than saving Canterlot, Ponyville and the Crystal Empire?

• 2:51 What, wasn’t there any room for the ponies?
• 3:19 Someone who appeared on Netflix with the help of A Talking Cat.
• 3:55 Bowser isn’t even here!
• 4:05 *drinks*
• 4:13 Wasn’t he already part of the team?
• 4:15 Oh.
• 4:40 You said it.
• 4:52 *drinks*
• 6:21 (see 9:51, part 4)
• 6:50 Guest stars ruining an actual character’s thinking? Bingo!
• 7:12 Bingo again.
• 7:17 Bingo all over.
• 8:23 Call Princess Celestia, why don’t you?
• 8:38 This ain’t Pooh’s Adventures, and yet we still get this.
• 9:13 Brace yourselves, followers…
• 9:33 RABID BRONY: AA DERPY APPEAR TWICE AAADG{U it,g opwat6o[98wt ed
• 9:51 At least she actually did something for once.
• 10:28 At last. Remember that one mistake from the Father Christmas video? Well, here it is again!

• 2:11 This shot makes me think how much better the rest of these videos would be if there were talking cars instead of talking trains. Not that they’ll be good or anything.
• 3:17 Oh, come on. That scene was worthy of a gasping montage! What a rip-off.
• 3:35 Yes you can. You’re crossover adventurers.
• 3:54 What are all of you doing up this time of night?
• 3:59 “You” can mean “you and your friends”, you know.
• 4:06 You know what? I’ve Bingo’d too many times at this. Turn it into drinking game.
• 4:51 (see 3:59)
• 5:19 No room indeed.
• 5:59 *bangs his head on the wall repeatedly* Sure Richard Rich was involved in both films, but this guy’s from Disneyland!
• 6:51 The fact that Amos Slade is Richard’s uncle despite his age and saying that he comes from Disney?
• 8:14 *insert subtitle saying “You know him?” here*
• 8:42 Another villain. (see 9:09)
• 9:09 Of chourse, fucking of chourse.
• 9:15 A subverted introduction scene.
• 9:57 Grand nephew. It would at least make more sense to say that.
• 10:12 “Nightmare Moon seemed to be a clone of Princess Luna.” Desperation…
• 10:21 When he was really just talking about taking over a galaxy.
• 10:37 The one who’s now a good guy!
• 10:48 That’s right, Tony.
• 11:15 SPOILERS: It’s Queen Chrysalis.
• 11:21 Derp! Somehow when I watch these videos, I believe that the toons themselves are changelings.
• 11:59 Woah, even Discord’s accent has changed.
• 12:20 Somebody would’ve broken out by now.
• 13:11 Well, well, well. Another Netflix-related cameo.
• 13:20 And another one bites the dust.
• 13:32 The Queen’s got a gun!
• 13:35 Or maybe not, but we ain’t fooled.
• 14:28 Shooting a train? You dumbass.

• 0:04 See why it makes more sense to leave her alone?
• 0:30 Was that really necessary? Another part ruined, even if the movie is mediocre.
• 0:43 “We'de” PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 1:03 [link] Look who’s talking!
• 4:37 Strange. Usually I would hear “Oh me, oh my, that’s right”.
• 4:55 Because they’re big. [link]
• 5:04 A “what” AND gasping montage?
• 5:10 They’re……actually helping?
• 5:26 Cross the bride?
• 6:16 Well, that scene was actually pretty good for a Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventure. A subtle scene. I’m impressed. *slight sarcasm*
• 7:12 So this means Thomas is practically lighter than Little EngTracy?
• 9:10 That pun was already used.
• 12:05 This coming from a video series that defies all possible logic.
• 10:28 It’s a god damn bridge, not a bride.
• 12:14 Well, talking so much isn’t going to make it any sunnier, isn’t it?
• 12:33 I hope to God this explains everything.
• 13:38 “Conteniu” PEOPLE LIKE THIS.

• 0:17 If I was watching the Pooh version, I’d expect annoying callbacks to Pooh’s Adventures of Avatar.
• 1:29 There are too many spelling mistakes for me to mention, but I can’t believe he misspelled “Roger”.
• 1:37 And each one of them died.
• 2:16 Desperation.
• 3:16 I agree, Thomas, I agree.
• 3:21 You’re saying trains don’t talk on freaking Sodor?
• 4:13 Bingo!
• 4:39 There’s also a paw on your team, you know.
• 5:05 By “Help” he means “follow without reason”.
• 6:02 Damn, for a second there I thought I had something to make fun of.
• 6:48 Forced “what” montage.
• 7:14 Bingo.
• 8:11 You could do montages for whats and gasps, yet no cheering montage?
• 8:21 The line robbery is so obvious here.
• 9:38 Of course she’s not lost when there are a dozen guest stars joining her.
• 9:51 That’s Ferdinand’s line!
• 9:56 How many more instances of “That’s right” are we going to get in this thing?
• 10:00 My thoughts on every other one of these videos.
• 10:28 That coming from the primary antagonist of The Fox and the Hound.
• 10:30 This only applies to Disney, Sodor and Equestria.
• 12:33 Except that in the real thing, they aren’t.

• 0:17 Did Thomas ever bother to tell Little….Tracy how weird she looked?
• 0:33 So there’s three rails, according to this animation. In the real animation, we could only see one. What’s the point of this again?
• 1:05 A single road!
• 1:19 A rare example of not splicing footage in the proper order.
• 1:24 Another bit of footage seen in that god damn Transformers video.
• 2:03 Yet another, which is badly timed.
• 2:11 Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
• 3:05 As long as he doesn’t shoot anyone.
• 3:31 Speaking of tracks existing…
• 4:07 See what I said about the ponies actually fitting in?
• 4:23 If the guy who made this was any wittier, he’d include a brony joke.
• 5:08 Accent continuity error.
• 5:18 Weren’t you next to Littracy?
• 5:29 So how did you go up and down the stairs, swim underwater, fit into a supermarket and climb up to the top of a freaking building?!
• 6:36 Not that it’s a big deal in your case…
• 7:36 Liar.
• 7:49 That’s kind of new, unless it already happened in a Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventure…
• 9:03 According to the video, that is.

• 0:03 Surprisingly short “What” montage. And believe me, there will be gasping montages, as I came to expect twice later on in the film.
• 0:09 [link]
• 1:06 What’s that? What the hell do you think it is? You already have one on your team.
• 1:23 The first person ever to be concerned by talking trains.
• 1:32 Oh, how I wish more Thomas+Twilight videos were like this.
• 1:50 And they weren’t as concerned to see that Fox and the Hound guy.
• 2:25 (see 0:03)
• 2:51 But she met a real man. Does that count?
• 3:56 Well, that’s something to add to a Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures Bingo. And besides, isn’t all the Thomas footage supposed to be American? Look harder, Britisher.
• 4:12 Hey, you said it in the first place.
• 4:17 THEY JUST DON’T CARE.
• 4:50 (see 3:56)
• 5:27 I just realised - Amos Slade wasn’t this nice!
• 6:42 [link]
• 6:50 Wouldn’t Horizontal Flip be enough?
• 8:24 Because it’s that video.
• 8:40 Wasn’t Amos Slade supposed to be talking to Richard in some way?

(NOTE: Because ZippCast’s embedded players autoplay, click the link to watch it)

Yesterday night I tried to watch a clip of Kermit the Frog on Saturday Night Live, but Hulu wouldn’t let me. So I came across a Chrome extension called Media Hunt, which allows me to watch videos not only on Hulu, but the US Netflix. And a good move it was, because I could prepare myself for that episode of Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures where MikuMikuDance ponies help out Thomas and friends for a lengthy 25 minutes. Long before that, I discovered that any Pooh’s Adventures creators who had their videos deleted from Vimeo have migrated to ZippCast, a clone of YouTube when it looked good. So now that I’ve watched the original movie, and rediscovered the most boring scene in Pooh’s Adventures history, let’s stop with the promotion and get this over with. Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of The Little Engine that Could, part 1.

• 0:02 Again with the Disney logo, despite the only Disney-related thing in this being footage from The Fox and the Hound!
• 0:46 Seriously?!
• 2:30 More forced than subtle.
• 2:59 “Sparkel’s”
• 3:10 Tony was responsible for the new names of these trains. I understand where they’re going to put the story into the world of Thomas, but that means extra subtitling.
• 4:09 They had to name him after his voice actor. Creativity. *sarcastic clapping*
• 4:36 Here comes trouble.
• 8:15 Well, it’s official - first we had gasping, screaming, laughing and “What” montages, but we also have the train whistling montage.
• 8:39 Well, at least this is one video where the characters actually make sense to be here. Even the ponies!
• 8:40 He just called her by her real name. Derp!
• 8:41 Well, at least this isn’t the most stretched out scene in the video.
• 9:20 Speak of the devil, it lasted 40 seconds.
• 9:29 
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• 9:31 Nice to meet a human being? Better keep him secure from all the people concerned about having a real human being in their world.
• 9:38 Comalong? Is that supposed to be a word at all?
• 9:40 Until that long sequence appears, this could be the Shawshank Redemption of the Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures series.
• 15:13 I can also give them credit for making Thomas’ accent fit with the world of Lit- I mean, Tracy.
• 15:20 Both of them look like they’ve been hit by a train.