Heck No Pooh's Adventures
Month
Pooh’s Adventures of Happy Days.
It wouldn’t quite be the same as another format.
EMILY OLSON PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS….
A MIYA PARKER PRODUCTION……
Pooh’s Adventures of The Adventures of Ian!
Starring Pooh’s 1,000 friends!
- cue Pooh’s Adventures opening which I didn’t give a damn about so I didn’t write it -
It was a normal day on Feralheart Island and at the Bonfire Island Analyzer ( BFIA ) Headquarters. The door opened as the silver cheetah with ints, Mystico, entered holding a book. “Hey, Nick! Guess what!” The primarily blue wolf with a dark brown mane spun around in his desk, still looking into a weird telescope, appearing to be studying the TLKer Drama at Bonfire. “I got an invitation t-” Andy ran over to take a look, “Pooh’s…. ADVENTURES!?!?!?!?!?? What in the motherfriggin’ hell? Mystico, you’re smarter than that! They’ve screwed up history 5000 million times!” Nick walked over, “Just lemme have a look here…” He opened the book and began reading through the rules, requirements, etc. “Signed by… Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, Owl, Rabbit, Kanga, Roo, Gopher, Littlefoot, Simba, Timon, Pumbaa, Nala,……….”
- 500 HOURS LATER -
“….Turdie F. Bastard, and…. EMILY OL- WHA!?!?!?!?!?” Nick dropped the book in surprise, “EMILY’S INVOLVED IN THIS? WHAT THE HELL IS SHE SMOKING!?!?!?!? HOW DID SHE GET INVOLVED!?!?!?!?” Mystico shrugged, “Weird things happen! I’m pretty sure they’re just parodies though…. anyways, give me a black-tipped pen, I need to sign this.” Nick threw a pen at Mystico, “Here, sign it.” Mystico signed his name and then threw it back to the wolf/fox hybrid, “Now you sign it.” Nick yelled, “HELL TO THE NAW! I AM NOT SCREWING UP HISTORY, NOPE NEVER! Wait… ANDY NO DROP THE PEN.” Nick face pawed, “It’s too late.” Andy had signed the Pooh’s Adventures deal. “Fine, I guess I’m going too. Say, am I going to meet my alternate self who is somehow related to Castiel and Jack Spicer?” “What the fuck!?!?!?!?” Mystico yelled. “Never mind, that’s a story for later!” Nick felt his paws quivering as he signed his name upon the sheet: “Nick A. Swagger-Uhas” which began his deal with Pooh’s Adventures. Mystico grabbed the duo by their paws, “Well, let’s go!” He then shot off into the distance to the Pooh’s Adventures hideout.
MEANWHILE IN CARTOONLAND……
In the Pooh’s Adventures Hideout, the cartoons had just finished reviewing The Adventures of Ian. “So, how was it?” asked Nicholas, the suggester. “Nicholas, what are you SMOKING?” Castor yelled, throwing his notebook down. “That movie was R! R I TELL YOU, R-RATED! Nicholas shrugged, “No one told me, it looked like a PG film to me!” “Whoa, calm down.” A voice said. Mickey Mouse stepped out. “We can do this. All we need to do is make the characters speak in subtitles, and… maybe we should satisfy an older audience, and leave in everything except the rape references. Plus, let’s make lots of the characters cousins to completely, unrelated characters! Sounds like a plan?” Mystico nodded, “Yes, I agree.” Every other cartoon nodded. “Well anyways, let’s GOOOOOOOO!” The cartoons dashed off to LA.
Christopher Robin appeared on the screen, telling the cartoons to be quiet. He cleared his throat, “And now we begin our adventure, which is called…” He held up a book with the original title and the picture of Piglet crossed out that now read “Pooh’s Adventures of The Adventures of Ian” Piglet popped out, “Me?” Christopher looked confused, “What are you talking about? Well anyways, act 1, our story begins!”
So while I am still trying to think of other chapters for Winnie the Pooh in Fantasmic! (WTF Edition) and try not to make it lame, I should let you know something. Namely, this isn’t the first time I’ve tackled on this rodeo of madness and misused clips. Inspired by Psyga 315’s liveblogs, I’ve liveblogged one of the Pooh’s Adventures stories in the past, namely Pooh’s Adventures of Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie. And called it “the weirdest teamup this side of “Trakeena’s Revenge” (the so-bad-it’s-good Lightspeed Rescue/Lost Galaxy team-up, mind).
Coincidentally or not, it was also the first time I made a crossover, myself, though it wasn’t as arc-heavy.
There comes a time when a crossover is so odd and baffling, that even a retired reviewer like myself feels the need to head back into battle one last time. I feel like one of those veteran Kamen Riders in the Neo-Heisei era. Yeah, I hung up my reviewing stick and declare that I wasn’t gonna review more Pooh’s Adventures, but there are times where I have to fight one last battle. In short: “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.”
The crossover I’m reviewing is yet another Pooh’s Adventures. Pooh’s Adventures of Star Wars: Darth Maul Story. Apparently Darth Maul was so badass, he got his own spinoff show. All joking aside, when I saw Yu-Gi-Oh characters in this video (amazing that you can tell what anime is what just from the art style), I knew this had to be the work of the creator of the “Quest for the Fang Blades” Pooh’s Adventures spin-off, in which Pooh decides to join Ichigo Kurosaki in what some people consider the longest arc in Shonen history. Yes. Longer than Namek.
What are we waiting for? Let’s just see how awesome or bad this story gets!
Thinking of the Pooh’s Adventures series in the past, while I was browsing through the newest anti-Pooh’s Adventures Wiki, I glanced at the people who made it.
Now, I’m not sure if it has been mentioned, but I do remember one name in particular: BowserMovies1989, and I don’t know if he’s the one who started it all, but…yeah, considering that he’s the one who has been one of the most prolific people out there with the Pooh’s Adventures thing…
Looking at the parodies of the Pooh’s Adventures phenomenon (even one written by a certain Psyga315), I honestly thought one thing. “How can you make a Pooh’s Adventures parody while going crazy with it?” And considering that even the canon Pooh’s Adventures break their own rules more than once, I’ve decided to try my own hand at a parody.
…this might get rough, so I do apologize in advance for it.
Also, with this fanfic, it isn’t canon to any of the Pooh’s Adventures series. It is, however, canon to the Rika Blogs-verse, set after the liveblog of Cyborg Davis. So, expect spoilers.
Finally, I do not own the characters, and no celebrities were harmed in the making of this fanfic. Also, expect the storyline to have some…creative liberties.
IM GONNA MAKE AN ANTI POOHS ADVENTURES WIKI
They’ll easily get fooled by pages that seem legit, and they still haven’t removed that DookyIKRDooky page yet.
Unfortunately though, Pooh wouldn’t get killed no matter what.
Why not?
As a matter of fact, I’m considering a TGWTG rip-off which analyses Adventure crossovers.
Nose picker makes Pooh go into the worst animated film. Featuring a cat and mouse that can talk but they’re not important.
PoohMod: Actually, the worst animated film is In Search of the Titanic.
Of course that was.
“This had to have been one of the BEST battles I’ve EVER seen!”
Not sure if I will, since Benny’s given up and I don’t want to insult him any further.
Because Blue Jasmine is out in my country tomorrow, I turned on Media Hint to set Netflix to the American version and watched The Purple Rose of Cairo, a film by Woody Allen about a woman who sees a movie so many times that one of the minor characters literally steps out of the screen and falls in love with her. Of course, it’s all fantasy, unfortunately for Reese Ambler.
Yakko re-uploaded his previous Scooby-Doo crossover onto Wenoo. Looking at it now, at least there’s only around 15 minutes of crossover footage. I’ve been taking more than a day to riff the other one.
Now now, it’s best to deal with him the way he isn’t.
He doesn’t go to any conventions.
I did, just to make fun of him.
“Wait. The wiki page is on a wiki that is against Pooh’s Adventures. But I don’t think that your adventures have anything to do with Pooh’s Adventures? I’m so confused here” -DavyScotttheman
Logan has updated his journal entry deciding not to retire from the Adventures fad after he gave it some thought when his DeviantArt followers and other fans of Lionheart Fantasy encouraged him to ignore it and make more adventures on another channel(?) with Bryce Kanyon, his Adventures co-writer and his most trusted partner he’s ever worked with.
Also in the comments of his journal entry, it gives us some clues as to how the Heck No wiki got shut down as three fellow followers of him decided to report on it. It also might have helped Logan to reconsider.
PoohMod: So one follower makes adventures himself, another faves clop art and Pony Creator vore and another just draws lions with awkward colouring. Heh, it’s more hilarious than sad that my Wiki was taken down by these guys.
