Heck No Pooh's Adventures

I recently said that I will reblog anything Thomas-related, and so, in case you weren’t aware these actually exist, I’m going to be riffing a video where he joins magical ponies on an adventure through the result of YouTubers liking just about anything. And I’m not talking just about Pooh’s Adventures, I’m talking about a webseries that has the same plot line in every episode. Fillies and gentlecolts, Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Annoying Orange - Captain Blood Orange.

• 0:01 So far, it’s already stupid. Thomas is a train. Trains can only run on rails, and cannot fit into an entire kitchen.
• 0:05 You think that’s interesting? Thomas and Twilight have adventures all across the frickin’ world.
• 0:13 You and me both.
• 0:17 Okay, if they are really going to be on a boat, it would make sense for Thomas to transport inside a ferry. And yet, he won’t be able to see what is going on.
• 0:27 Okay, so it’s a supermarket. That doesn’t make any difference to the logic of this crossover!
• 0:41 Really, if they had to travel on a pirate ship, it would sink in an instant.
• 0:57 Besides, it makes more sense (but not my a mile) to use the CG trains because their mouths move.
• 1:03 And the ponies’ first appearance is nothing more than a gasping shot.
• 1:30 This is just more proof that these people would enjoy anything.
• 1:39 Aren’t they even too big to be on that ship? Give us an explanation! Did they shrink down? Is Thomas nothing more than a toy train?
• 1:53 My thoughts exactly.
• 2:06 People, this is all they’re put on the ship for. Stating the obvious and reacting. Like most other Pooh’s Adventures videos.
• 2:10 Such bad continuity. First he’s being narrated and then he’s talking with his own mouth.
• 2:34 Cummin’ Dick Cold!
• 2:37 One of the only shots that actually fits.
• 2:56 There they go again. Reacting so the fruits don’t have to!
• 3:15 He’s rolling on the rail while the fruits are on a ship on wheels, and my brain is currently bleeding.
• 3:44 Hello? They’re just playing around. Why get so wussy?
• 4:41 I do hate it when they introduce characters too late. They’re basically coming out of the blue at a time like that.
• 5:02 The Annoying Orange is free to be as unfunny as he wants. Let the dumb toddlers laugh, and stop making remarks. After all, I’ve seen people who have little kids that were disappointed by these videos.
• 5:18 That’s another reason the ponies were put in there - to replace dialogue. Oh, how I hate this.
• 5:46 Did he forget to add a subtitle?
• 6:11 Tut tut, two second “what” montage.
• 6:36 Plagiarist.
• 6:56 Misuse of “here”? Check.
• 7:07 Was he supposed to be hiding under the haypile?
• 7:17 Why are they cleaning a rock? Why are they grey?
• 7:43 At least stealing the orange’s lines will shut him up for once.
• 7:50 We could easily tell whose lines were stolen just then. Do they even think?
• 8:03 Another sign of desperation.
• 8:44 Aren’t Thomas and his friends supposed to be tied up? Why are they moving?
• 9:08 *glares to the right*
• 9:26 The suspends is killing me!
• 10:03 And what are they even doing with a bunch of talking food? Are they supposed to be toys that come to life whenever they feel like it?
• 10:49 Hey, give the human a chance. Pinkie’s party cannon is just full of confetti. Not very painful. Although this is painful to watch…
• 11:57 GPOY.

• Rabid bronyism: 
• Rabid trainerism: 
• Cameo uselessness: 
• Brain cancer: 
• Fun of using ratings beyond 5 stars: 

Overall: 6/5

-0.2/10. Once again, we get a video where any explanation of logic is absent, grammar is bad, crossovers are ridiculous, jokes are ruined and the target show is absolutely terrible. Not even the inclusion of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man or Godzilla need this much explanation. 76859Thomas, if you’re reading this, ask me. How did a bunch of talking trains manage to fit inside a supermarket when they’re dozens of times larger than the characters they’re helping? Why do you think rainbow ponies are a good set of characters to pair with them? How did even the ponies manage to fit inside a tiny ship on a shopping cart? Are they toys, too? Did Twilight manage to shrink the entire gang?  And why the hell do you find this show funny? Next time you do make a video with Thomas the Tank Engine and Twilight Sparkle, please. Give reason.

youtubeclassics:

I can clearly tell if they are running or dancing!

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic, part 5. Benny laments about his stupidity.

• 1:17 It was incredibly pointless anyway!
• 1:53 No. NO. NOPE. NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
• 2:21 No, Benny. WE’RE doomed.
• 2:28 We can already see who Rafiki’s really hitting - a cartoon wildebeest, and not a cartoon wannabeast.
• 4:39 Worst pause cut using an expensive movie maker EVER.
• 5:03 “Johnny look down the Grand Staircase and sees water rising up from below.” Why does this fanfic keep using both past and present tense?
• 5:15 Okay, that actually holds the record.
• 5:37 You seriously thought that would add some humour?
• 6:29 *cries* Please stop…
• 8:26 Eh, at least there’s no giant octopus.
• 9:24 A sword? MOON POWER? Oh, my hate for this is unbelievable.
• 9:43 Wait. What were the swords for again? To piss me off?
• 9:48 RABBIT: Ada– How can you think of [mermaids] at a time like this?
• 9:50 Yes, to piss me off, alright.
• 10:21 All of this led to Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of the Little Mermaid?! MOST OFFENSIVE STORY CONNECTION EVER.
• 10:35 I feel bad for everyone involved in the disaster, especially for having the mood lightened by furries.
• 12:28 TCastro? The guy who used to be my friend? How could you?!
• 13:30 You mean the guy who loved the Titanic so much he screwed it? In the ass, no less?

• Lack of jokes: 
• Lack of continuity: 
• Lack of accurate impersonations: 
• Lack of charisma: 
• Lack of taste: 

Overall: 6.8/5

-0.36/10. This is the worst Fantasy Films Adventure yet. It’s offensive, boring, idiotic and, looking at the ratings, highly overrated. And what’s more, the death of 1500 people is followed by The Little Mermaid. This is just as bad as the animated Titanic movies from Italy, and you can’t help but get horrifying flashbacks to In Search of the Titanic. Plus, why do people get fooled that easily in the videos by disguises, even when they’re worn by lions? This is especially insulting as it treats the Titanic crew like they’re stupid. It’s not educational, it’s fap worthy (Here’s looking at you, Kane Taker). And it’s trying to be serious, which provides no answer to the question, “Who is it aimed at?” Well, it’s not for children, but it surely ain’t for people with heart either. What a way to celebrate a centennial, eh?

Featured comment: “Wow! All the people who are involved in all 5 parts of the Titantic special are really amazing. Great voice acting, great effects and great music. I am a real life friend of KaneFan701 and I will rate Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titantic…5 Mickey Mouse icons out of 5.”

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic, part 4. Boy, I’m telling you, it’s a good thing this is only 49 minutes. 

• 0:45 BRUMA: …unless Kairel here gets any larger! Ha ha ha!
• 0:47 Disney characters, for instance.
• 1:30 And now, footage from The Legend Goes On. Is Benny a fan at all of the rapping dog?
• 2:07 A feature film that will only be featured on the interwebs, and get followed only by the very easily amused.
• 3:11 JOHNNY: And not even my fur coat and sweater do anything!
• 3:16 It’s probably taken revenge on you for bringing robots into a fairy tale.
• 3:31 Taste the power of Horizontal Flip!
• 4:46 Way to try and imitate James Horner.
• 5:03 We can already see that! Stop reading everything the story tells you!
• 6:03 That voice is just insulting, and that’s only part of it.
• 6:18 Stop acting!
• 7:55 And they all were too dumb to know that this happened. People are enjoying a video where the main characters are total idiots. People……ah, forget it.
• 8:43 History has been ruined - Thomas didn’t even know he was talking to lions.
• 8:59 And not even the Captain was as smart as we thought. Like I said, we’re all doomed.
• 9:56 I don’t think I mentioned before how bad J. Bruce Ismay’s microphone is.
• 10:39 One of them will be “MUTANT LIONS HIJACK SHIP”.

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic, part 3. It seems that this wasn’t the documentary I expected after all. Even so it’s better made, though more insulting, than the Amazing Animals adventures.

• 0:49 *bangs his head on the wall* People love this…
• 1:47 What, is Johnny the kind of lion that does have a private area?
• 2:05 [link]
• 2:13 She’s giving us so much pointless information that she’s stuttering in the process.
• 2:21 They’re playing squash. WE GET IT. WE KNOW WHAT THE HELL SQUASH IS.
• 2:35 Cammy D. Gold.
• 2:40 Anyone else thinking he’s getting close to sounding a little bit like Peter Griffin?
• 2:45 Really? Because I’m quite close to sleeping.
• 3:02 Still got it? Since when?
• 3:34 A-Acting!
• 4:20 Benny?
• 4:50 This narrator gives off way too much information. Why am I the only one out of the 21 people who’s actually bored?
• 5:49 Cue the yaois…

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic, part 2. 20 likes? Nothing else? Fixable. *dislikes it*

• 0:35 And being caged up is better than watching this.
• 0:50 Blend in well? How so? They’re covered in fur!
• 1:54 *rolls eyes* What’s so bad about this video is that unlike the animated Titanic movies, it pairs its own characters with real people.
• 2:35 I can tell that they’re spinning in their graves even faster.
• 3:16 There’s much worse news that that. A bunch of furries are pissing on a thousand graves.
• 3:24 Just as much as they can handle lions running around on the ship.
• 3:45 Notice how they’re not wearing those suits they earned in part 1. Stop being so lazy and draw some more, at least!
• 4:14 King Louie makes a cameo, and appears to have shaven.
• 4:45 See what I mean?
• 5:02 *sarcastic shrug*
• 5:12 Tut tut, now they’re trying to be edgy with their crossovers yet again. It didn’t work in Beauty and the Beast, and it sure as hell won’t work in a frickin’ Titanic story.
• 5:30 And he escaped to a painless landing.
• 5:45 But he was on the ground earlier ago!
• 5:55 Which he already did.
• 6:05 Out of all the passengers, they cadged him?
• 6:09 Ughhhhhhh, this is from The Legend Goes On, isn’t it? Now it’s not just HunterXColleen I’m disturbed by.

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Now, I will admit that when you read Benny’s channel description, he seems like a decent guy. He says he has a “big sense of humor” and a “big sense of generosity”. He also wrote a children’s book exclusively for Amazon.com and looks to find experience in becoming a professional animator. He also has a good taste in music, as he may not like country, but does enjoy classical.

That is, until you watch his videos. Because now, at the request of a single follower, I’m going to be riffing Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic.

• 1:49 Now, I’d like to remind you all that they’re not actually invading any of the Titanic movies. They’re basically travelling on the ship with the help of scenes from various movies and real life events. This doesn’t sound terrible, but it’s time-travelling furries on a ship where more than a thousand people died. Oh, brother.
• 1:56 The furries wrecked Disney World! We’re doomed already!
• 2:02 Trip to a theme park? Don’t they LIVE in a theme park?
• 2:48 I’d also like to remind you that this part has 28 likes and only a couple of dislikes. All for a racist baboon impersonation.
• 2:54 The end!
• 3:08 And of all the years you could pick, you had to offend us all. What next, getting a job in 2001?
• 3:19 Go back to the ark, why don’t you.
• 3:37 No wonder why he keeps making these videos.
• 4:04 So who’s going to be educated by this? Any suggestions?
• 4:18 No, it’s the Big Bang.
• 4:39 Just because Bugs Bunny could fool people when in drag, doesn’t mean that nobody will notice that you look like a lion!
• 4:41 Beige? What beige? It’s black and white!
• 4:44 Yet they seem to be taking it quite well.
• 4:54 And try not to scare the ticketmaster in the process!
• 5:38 And they call you a scientific genius?
• 5:47 TICKET MAN: LION! TALKING LION! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
• 6:18 And this got more respect than the Italian animated Titanic movies?
• 6:42 Looks like we have the only character who actually attended the second highest grossing movie ever made.
• 7:17 Jesus Christ, the captain from The Legend of the Titanic? Benny liked this movie too? Well, if he’s such a big fan of El Arca then I guess he’d enjoy just about anything.
• 7:44 I’d have to give this video some credit - they finally chose a plot point where the people actually take notice that Benny and the gang ain’t human.
• 7:50 And yet they actually turned into humans. Especially Rafiki, who turned into a dog.
• 8:41 This we didn’t see in the movies. But will we actually learn anything from an El Arca fanboy?
• 8:56 Already we’re getting cluelessness from someone who thinks he’s feeling sorry for them when we’re really supposed to jizz at this.
• 9:23 Among those currently rolling their graves…
• 9:29 Implying that they actually are rich.

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)