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A Much Smarter Pooh’s Adventures Wiki: Rarity’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Endangered Animals

Rarity’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Endangered Animals is the first and by far the only installment in the Rarity’s Adventures series, created by LordKraken3. Though its crossover cast is less rabid than the Amazing Animals crossovers (or any crossover in particular) produced by YakkoWarnerMovies101, this video contains Rarity making friends with a kaiju. The guest stars also contradict their intelligences, there are barely any gaps after punctuation and there are no villains, not even Kaa.

Spoilers

It begins with… the Disney logo? Maybe this has something to do with the fact that Amazing Animals used to be on the Disney Channel but why not just use the Disney Television logo? Anyway, the producer’s own channel logo is nothing more than Drobot roaring and Sweetie Belle pointing out it’s not a word.

After a day of failing at a game of Yu-Gi-Oh, Rarity is woken up by a cloud of smoke that is never spoken of again, as Vakishim greets her a good morning and she tells him she’s “not in the mood to run schtick” when she clearly ran out of bed. Just then, the narrator interrupts the unicorn and her giant evil monster pal to introduce Henry, who doesn’t seem the slightest bit interested in a “purply unicorn” and what he calls a hybrid of two Pokémon until they talk. Yes, it appears Henry knows about Pokémon, and the talking lizard is surprised by two talking creatures.  He finds a leopard which amazes, so to speak, Rarity. The two talking animals both think the narrator says “dangerous” when he really says “endangered”, which is what the leopard is, and when the narrator says the leopard is under risk of extinction, Rarity screams at something else. The leopard goes after Henry and even Vakishim is scared when he’s, like, a gajillion times taller.

The gang learns that more and more animals are becoming endangered. Even Vakishim, who’s most likely stomped on a dozen of them. Rarity plans to save the wildlife and although she doesn’t seem like she’s known about many of these creatures, she has heard of the term “Nature Calls”. Vakishim hears some facts that he knows about animals even though he’s just a giant monster, and the narrator explains the dangers of humanity and the industry among animals, causing Rarity to show displeasure against humans. I’ll say. Henry wonders how many species are endangered - thousands. Vakishim continues that with “and thousands” like the evil, human crushing monster he is. He later threatens to kill humans for eating babirusas when he would just kill both, and gets called a dinosaur by the narrator.

After a chicken constructs a time machine and fails to prevent a dinosaur from dying, Rarity says that “snakes are officially smarter than dinosaurs”. But she’d better watch her mouth, because out of nowhere comes Kaa! He comes to spy on Mowgli, but Mowgli’s supposed to be Rarity, so you should consider your dicks lucky, hypno fetishists. Weirdos. He seems to be hypnotizing her, but the subtitles show he just came to thank her for the compliment and then we cut to Henry. Henry is about to kill some bugs with spray but the narrator tells him off, and Kaa is now an assissssssstant to Rarity and Vakishim. Kaa apparently uses bug spray on man cubs. It also appears that Rarity is on the narrator’s side, as she tells Henry what a chain link is.

Kaa blames deforestation on the “man cubs”, which just goes to show that LK3 wasn’t educated enough to know what a cub is, and Rarity learns that if the trees go, so do the animals, and that’s where we have yet another contradiction. The giant monster points out that “farms are an animal’s worst enemy”, Rarity happens to know about poaching and how hard it is to clean an oil-covered duck but not about oil pollution, and Kaa knows about whaling. WHAT IS GOING ON?!

Kaa even knows about schools, as proven when it’s time for Henry’s report. Vakishim, who seemed to know a lot in the last part, doesn’t know that the passenger pigeon is extinct. The guest stars interrupt Henry’s nonsensical report on passenger pigeons like the Captain Obviouses they are, and obviously he fails. Henry learns from the narrator that passenger pigeons that they died out, and from Vakishim that they became extinct, which means the exact same thing. Kaa doesn’t understand what the narrator is talking about when he tells the tale of the European discovery of a rare bird in America, and although Vakishim and Rarity had never heard of passenger pigeons before, they knew that Europe’s implications of the amounts of them were false. When it is told that passenger pigeons were at risk of being hunted, Rarity thinks that you can’t have food and pigeons, but she’s wrong. It’s called squab. She and Vakishim cry for the last passenger pigeon, even after they contradicted their knowledge plenty of times.

Everyone discovers some statues of extinct animals, and Rarity finds the names of the Great Auk, the dodo and the mammoth to be bizarre when her name is a word and her best friend has a made-up Japanese name. Vakishim actually corrects the narrator when he says that all of them are extinct, and all the guest stars join in the narrator when he says that the tiger really is endangered. I repeat, WHAT IS GOING ON?! Learning why the tiger is at risk of extinction, Kaa is reminded of Shere Khan (obviously) and starts to feel bad for his food, and Rarity lies about not wearing fur clothing. Vakishim goes dumb again when he feels alarmed by the amount of endangered species and has never heard of a thylacine before.

Later, Henry builds an ark, which Vakishim doesn’t believe and he’s right - Henry didn’t build it, computers did! Anyway, as Henry learns he’s not an endangered animal, Kaa seems to have read the bible. Rarity also knows that people have protected animals for years when it wasn’t her who stepped through that magic mirror, and while Kaa addresses Shere Khan, Rarity seems to have forgotten about Zecora. After learning about the benefits of zoos, Henry presents his favorite endangered animals which doesn’t get interrupted until the panda is listed. Rarity, whose knowledge isn’t complete about wildlife, mentions that it’s on the WWF logo.

PEOPLE LIKE THIS.

The narrator points out that nobody can tell if it’s a bear or something else, which Henry knows. Kaa points out that everybody knows it’s a bear, and for the first time in crossover adventure history, Henry tells Kaa to “stop interrupting”. The narrator thinks Henry’s talking to him. Again, Rarity knows about the World Wildlife Association and that the panda count is rising but not that all they eat is fucking bamboo. Shortly after learning more about the endangerment of wildlife, the common stalker in Pooh’s Adventures arrives. Yes, Fifi La Fume. Even though Fifi is running straight ahead of him, he gives a flashback to a much messier Amazing Animals crossover.

Managing to escape Fifi, the gang learns about orangutans just before Henry steals Reese Ambler’s ability to turn into a blue cat, because there she is again. Everyone else escapes, especially Vakishim, except Kaa who keeps her distracted by pulling off a crazy stunt. And so, Fifi La Fume is forever in the pursuit of a miserable gecko whose life has been ruined by a unicorn, a giant Japanese monster and a sinister snake.

“Memorable” quotes

Narrator: Being endangered and being in danger are very different things, Henry.
Rarity: Thanks to Sweetie Belle!

Henry: Oh, come on. Whales don’t use fishing nets.
Narrator: No, Henry. People do.
Vakishim: And Thus,Trolling Was Born.

Henry: Don’t people ever learn?
Narrator: That’s a tough question.
Rarity: It certainly is.
(It’s funny because people who like crossovers like this are more excited than educated)

Rarity: Sometimes, i don’t get humans.

Kaa: How are we sssssuposssssed to know?

Crossover cast

Heck No Pooh’s Adventures riff

  1. http://hecknopoohsadventures.tumblr.com/post/26405974955/well-im-back-from-kefalonia-and-today-im-going
  2. http://hecknopoohsadventures.tumblr.com/post/26406103703/raritys-adventures-of-amazing-animals
  3. http://hecknopoohsadventures.tumblr.com/post/26406308235/raritys-adventures-of-amazing-animals
  4. http://hecknopoohsadventures.tumblr.com/post/26406624623/raritys-adventures-of-amazing-animals
  5. http://hecknopoohsadventures.tumblr.com/post/26406783270/raritys-adventures-of-amazing-animals
  6. http://hecknopoohsadventures.tumblr.com/post/29622141944/raritys-adventures-of-amazing-animals
  7. http://hecknopoohsadventures.tumblr.com/post/29634072883/raritys-adventures-of-amazing-animals
  8. http://hecknopoohsadventures.tumblr.com/post/33368691747/oh-turned-out-there-were-credits-for-raritys