Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Mr. Conductor & Elmo Saves Christmas, part 4. The Conductor show is where Trainboy got his Halloween special idea from, isn’t it? I hate you, Jon…

• 2:21 Is that really why he chose this?
• 2:33 No it wasn’t. It just made this whole thing even longer.
• 2:54 What?
• 3:00 That guy is his old friend?
• 8:35 Don’t you dare.
• 10:24 This was written by a manchild, in case you forgot.
• 10:53 What did the blue guys say?!
• 11:04 People. They like this.
• 11:30 [link]
• 11:39 PEOPLE LIKE THIS!

(Source: scratchpad.wikia.com)

Mr. Conductor & Elmo Saves Christmas, part 3. It must be awkward to watch this on a phone.

• 0:43 It looks so bad that Santa’s face is blacked out.
• 1:46 It’s not that easy being in an adventure crossover.
• 2:37 One stupid reaction shot! Ah ah ah ah!
• 3:47 You did? Huh, must’ve removed another annotation.
• 4:23 More desperation.
• 7:11 Mr. Conductor is now a manchild. Unbelievable.
• 7:30 He didn’t get get in the sleigh!
• 8:31 That means the video’s going to be pointless again! Oh wait, it already was pointless.
• 10:45 That’s not Cookie Monster, you formerly intelligent, script-robbing dickweed.
• 11:15 Is this guy that desperate after Conductor’s long absence that he’ll just take another character and have him replace Grover’s lines?
• 12:41 Oh, bother.
• 12:47 [link]

(Source: scratchpad.wikia.com)

Mr. Conductor & Elmo Saves Christmas, part 2. Where the hell is Mr. Conductor?

• 0:00 Oh, speak of the devil.
• 0:10 Of course he’d know. He has incredibly long lists of names, so what would you come to expect?
• 0:18 A silent flashback?
• 0:27 He’s using Santa as he appeared in Shining Time Station. Um… clever?
• 0:38 At least add some music!
• 0:58 Honest to God, reader, check your speakers. This is exactly how it sounds.
• 1:24 AAAGH! Oh, thank goodness.
• 2:00 Okay, we understand. They’re all singing.
• 2:58 This is the second time in the past seven days that I’ve sat through an overlong flashback!
• 4:00 He wasn’t even the same actor as you!
• 4:07 [link]
• 4:28 At least it’s a flashback like in Trainboy’s Halloween video and not a train running over Muppets in Sesame Street.
• 6:00 Trainboy’s not narrating this, so what’s the blooming point?
• 8:58 I should’ve said this while riffing Trainboy, Train+Pony Man and Ed-ric, but I adored Thomas. But now that I know the fandom, I can safely say that I despise him. And believe me, unlike Pony, I have yet to see a fan who isn’t that crazy.
• 9:00 There’s that subtitle mistake again!
• 9:53 *stops drawing a fat girl* Huh?
• 12:20 You want to hear my second wish?

(Source: scratchpad.wikia.com)

While this was still in the request queue, a lot of concerning things happened with Sesame Street. Mitt Romney wanted Big Bird fired, Elmo’s puppeteer became the next Michael Jackson, and the show tackled divorce for the first time in years. On the Thomas the Tank Engine side, I’ve dealt with a fandom that I’ve barely seen anything good come out of, including self insertion, failed attempts at disguising giantess fetishism, and the worst of two fandoms at once. And, on Christmas Eve, I went to see The Muppet Christmas Carol on the last day of its theatrical re-release in the UK for the fun of it. So it would be even more interesting to finally riff Mr. Conductor & Elmo Saves Christmas now, wouldn’t it?

• 0:17 Chipmunk music? Eh, why not?
• 0:58 Trains again. Oh joy.
• 1:13 Here, he obviously used Movie Maker but couldn’t be arsed to actually export it.
• 1:28 Oh, that’s Zoe? I couldn’t tell because the camera focus was so terrible.
• 2:18 Cliche of a crossover adventure video #32: Grammar doesn’t mattar.
• 2:40 Annotations. Haven’t seen them in a damn while.
• 2:53 Which means that Sesame Street’s going to have built-in rails, meaning an incredibly low chance of walking or driving! And don’t get me started on Snuffles.
• 3:33 So we have Mr. Conductor from Shining Time Station. Hopefully, the trains will appear in flashback. Hopefully.
• 3:28 Could it take him any longer to say something like that?
• 5:12 SNUFFLES: Because a four-legged lug like me can’t walk in a street where trains will start getting in the way!
• 6:28 Good thing I can remove annotations. That way, any toddler watching this can laugh at it a teensy bit more.
• 8:35 Where’s Mr. Conductor?
• 11:15 I wish I was watching the real thing. *searches on YouTube and clicks the first video* It worked!

(Source: scratchpad.wikia.com)

fuck–no–my–little–pony:

Part of another Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventure video. While the rest of them are made up of clips and subtitles, this part is a specially animated scene where the Mane 6 help out Thomas and Friends for 24¾ MINUTES.

Click here to witness more pony-related Adventure crap.

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle meets Father Christmas, part 3. Lest forget that part 1 had me witness the first ever subtitle goof-ups in the history of this blog.

• 0:07 At least we won’t be able to see Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of The Snowman. But if they tackle The Snowman and the Snowdog then I will be pissed.
• 0:26 So crossing a crooked bridge is supposed to be dancing?
• 1:09 Applejack tries her hardest at a British accent. And also, “Farther” Christmas can already see that! What do you think he is, stupid?
• 1:31 How would you know? You’re a train! *sigh* Cue the “what” montage…
• 2:06 Oops, watermark!
• 2:13 Wouldn’t they all fit in the sleigh? How are they running all the way from the North Pole to London?
• 3:33 *groans out loud* “Your” misuse? Check.
• 5:17 And now a song from Mickey’s Twice Upon a Christmas. That does not fix anything about the Disney logo being used!
• 6:02 Twilight’s singing it? In a male voice? Tut tut…
• 8:09 “Vioce”
• 8:22 He’s a brony, and he actually thinks she’s called “Railty”. Good Christ.
• 8:35 Pooh Footage? What Pooh footage?
• 8:37 Implying that everyone likes his videos.

• Overreactions: 
• Mistakes: 
• Lack of concern over Santa undressing: 
• Logic: What logic?
• Rabid Bronyism and Trainerism: 

Overall: 7/5

0.4/10. During this riff, I sent a message to the creator of these videos.

How are Thomas and his friends able to move like that? I mean, they are trains, so you wouldn’t expect them to move off the rails, or even fly in the air. Besides, how do they even get through the doors and fit in such a small area? I would like to know, because it has confused me ever since I started watching these kinds of videos.

I just hope he responds, because this is by far the most confusing crossover adventure video I’ve ever had the time to sit through. There are so many questions to be asked, so many errors that could have been corrected had the creator analysed his own work before uploading it, and a complete lack of Christmas spirit or respect towards the art of Raymond Briggs animation. Give me a blooming explanation, damn it!

Like Winnie the Pooh and the Dark Crystal, I watched the original before watching the butchered version, and while it ain’t The Snowman, it’s still one of the most unique visions of Santa Claus out there - a guy who has no elves, especially no trains or horses to help him. Just a couple of pets and a couple of reindeer. He ain’t jolly, but a wisecracking, globe-trotting geezer who can think up things to do for the fun of it before the big day. Unfortunately, these crossover people don’t believe in going solo, they fudge up who Father Christmas’ character was intended to be.

Well, enough ranting. Next time, we’re going to see how Benny and his pals got along in the middle of their adventures through Beauty and the Beast. And besides, I’ve seen that the creator of this video has added a part to his latest adventure where KP-ShadowSquirrel’s ponies help out the trains for 24¾ minutes.

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle meets Father Christmas, part 2. Thomas and friends must have traveled on an awfully long track to get to the countries.

• 1:05 How’d you get through the door, though?
• 1:07 How did all of you get through? When Thomas and his friends are involved in a crossover adventure, you can’t help but question the logic.
• 1:34 Flippin’ heck. Expect a whole lot of rusting.
• 1:55 A grammatically incorrect person using “it’s” correctly? What sense does that make?
• 2:17 No you’re not, you’re still in Equestria.
• 2:40 Oh my goodness! A stylish dessert! Never seen anything like it!
• 3:20 Oh no! He’s got nothing left to gamble with! The scientists were right!
• 3:55 I’m going to bish bash bosh you someday.
• 4:28 How is that even a game, even by train standards?
• 5:08 How are those trains able to fly?
• 6:34 *reads the subtitles* You can say that again.
• 7:18 I was expecting a more extreme reaction. Jeez, you overreact to a bill and not a toy pony?
• 7:40 It’s the same reaction I used for this entire video!
• 8:48 It’s not Pooh’s Adventures, and yet we still have someone saying “bother”.
• 9:16 He’s Santa Claus! He is more capable than that!
• 10:22 He’s on a track and covered in Christmas lights. This still confuses me as to how he manages to get from one country to another!
• 12:08 A barrel. What an exciting present.
• 13:40 All you did was place a barrel somewhere it would be dangerous for kids to sleep in.

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Last time, we saw a train fanatic invade yet another episode of Phineas and Ferb. Today, we're looking at a bunch of blooming ponies and blooming trains invading Santa’s blooming privacy. Here, CGI trains and Flash-animated horses ruin the hand-drawn animated beauty of the Raymond Briggs adaptations. But how will the trains get to billions of homes all in one night? I know how Rainbow Dash would do it, but let’s stop complaining like this and start complaining at bits of Thomas and Twilight Sparkle meets Father Christmas, part 1.

• 0:00 Okay, I can understand the Disney logo appearing in Rarity’s Adventures of Amazing Animals, the original show being distributed by the Disney Channel and whatnot, but this?! Why?
• 0:32 Oh, God. He used the Cineworld jingle, didn’t he?
• 0:46 What I’m seeing isn’t very jungle-y.
• 1:48 At least he doesn’t use Movie Maker.
• 3:36 Especially with the horses and trains that are going to be stalking you.
• 3:57 So they are like celebrities in this universe? “their selfs”
• 4:16 How about a movie?
• 4:35 How can a train fit in a garden? Heck, Trainboy54 coming out of the closet as a small train made more sense!
• 4:40 “It sure has”? “HAS”?
• 4:46 Wouldn’t it make more sense to call him “Santa Claus”?
• 4:49 Why am I suddenly thinking dirty thoughts in this scene?
• 5:03 You should know, you've delivered toys of th- Oh, wait. 1991.
• 5:05 [link]
• 5:10 Jeez, Turdie F. Bastard puts more effort into positioning and scaling than you.
• 5:16 RARITY: They called me Railty because I’m friends with trains! How clever is that?
• 5:25 Oh God. I made fun of this in my own video before I could actually witness it!
• 5:30 What’s making this even more confusing is that apparently, he’s going to be using both British and American clips. Just imagine if he used both Mel Smith and William Dennis Hunt’s Santa.
• 5:35 SPIKE: And by that I mean Ratatouille!
• 5:39 That’s what I still hate about these videos - the guest stars turn the main character into a dumbass.
• 6:02 You didn’t answer his question correctly.
• 7:14 Calm down, it’s just a camper van painted in red.
• 7:31 Oh. Haven’t tackled that. Better do it then! Seriously though, did this guy even watch the video after he completed it?
• 8:17 The ponies’ situations fit more than the trains, mainly because the ponies are small and have legs.
• 8:39 [link]
• 9:26 No, that’s what happens when people get drunk.
• 9:41 Brown elephant, more like.
• 10:03 It’s a flashback. We get it.
• 10:49 WE GET IT.
• 11:09 Finally.
• 11:14 OF course he’s not listening. You’re speaking in blooming text.
• 11:30 What, did we see through Twilight’s eyes?
• 11:33 First they overreact to an RV, now they overreact to a bill that isn’t even theirs.
• 12:12 We still have yet until Thomas reacts to seeing Santa’s whole behind.
• 12:48 “Breafast” “hungery” This guy is British.
• 13:01 He can see that already. And if he mentioned HP Sauce, wouldn’t that mean the campers would be interested in seeing Thomas & Friends as well?
• 13:56 See? I told you their situations were relevant!

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Trainboy54’s Adventures of Phineas and Ferb Episode 57: Toy to the World, part 2. Jon’s ego is big as a… well, you know.

• 0:14 Talk about how slow you’re making this run!
• 1:05 All poor Trainboy was doing the whole time was staring at a blank piece of paper.
• 1:09 JON: I can’t After Effects myself in just yet, you know!
• 1:51 Thanks for interrupting a musical number like that!
• 2:07 SHOPKEEPER: Doesn’t the vomit say enough?
• 2:11 No. More like #3474579134924765236476325601432675363.
• 2:17 You dick.
• 2:24 Artistic talent!
• 2:28 JEREMY: And a train, which is kinda weird.
• 2:31 Ladies and gentlemen, Trainboy’s entire filmography.
• 2:36 How the hell did you turn into a train anyway?
• 2:57 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 3:05 Actually, it’s free.
• 3:22 UNDAWEEARR
• 3:36 Yes, call him Jon. It sounds less ridiculous.
• 3:43 Another crossover?
• 4:21 Jon in a different location? How unusual!
• 4:25 I’ll show you how useful a brick can be if you don’t shut up.
• 4:40 Slow-paced jump cuts!
• 4:44 Did he just eat his own finger off?

• Platypus Trainboy: 
• Platypus Trainboy: 
• Platypus Trainboy: 
• Platypus Trainboy: 
• Platypus Trainboy: 

Overall: 5.8/5

-0.16/10. (No) Thanks to the Douchebag for sending me this. Tune in next time where I riff another train-related Christmas video, only it has ponies!

Of course the world didn’t end. And it isn’t going to be any different in 2017. But sometimes, I feel like the world already ended, and that’s where people like Trainboy54 come in. For as we’ll be able to celebrate Christmas in hopeful peace, we’ll be looking at his Christmas special which isn’t even based on a Christmas special, and has J.K. Simmons in it. Trainboy54’s Adventures of Phineas and Ferb Episode 57: Toy to the World, part 1.

• 0:00 Music from a franchise that has talking vehicles that can actually travel everywhere.
• 0:07 Boo! Booooooo!
• 0:15 Step away from the damn microphone.
• 0:18 NO.
• 0:35 It ain’t Ackley or Jon’s own singing, but it’s still stupid.
• 0:55 Who’s even singing in each voice?
• 2:42 He looks more like he’s passing gas than blowing smoke out of his head.
• 2:44 I said booooo.
• 3:07 Why would I?
• 3:43 Of course it had to be low quality. We wouldn’t want the copyright monsters getting him, would we? Would we?
• 4:10 CANDACE: *screams even harder*
• 4:18 I just thought of something - Jon sounds like Phineas crossed with his mother. Or Doofenshmirtz.
• 4:38 But not as good as trains, eh Trainboy?
• 4:49 Clearly implying that he can.
• 5:01 Like these videos!
• 5:15 We are again reminded how brutal Trainboy is when he ruins jokes.
• 5:35 Jeez, Trainboy, put your tripod to better use!
• 5:42 Boy, it must feel weird saying that.
• 5:46 TB has even less facial expressions than Ferb.
• 5:55 Manchildren count too, you know.
• 6:17 You know someone's embarrassing himself in front of the camera when the only thing he’s not doing is being JustinRPG.
• 6:32 Smiling ain’t that hard, Trainboy.
• 6:56 JON: I love celery!

fuck–no–my–little–pony:

How can a train fit in any room of a castle anyway?