Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Pooh and Ash’s Adventures of Scooby Doo and the Headless Horseman of Halloween, part 3. Two hours and seven minutes, this damn thing is.

• 0:02 You’re getting ready for a Halloween party. Stop dancing and get prancing!
• 0:05 This would’ve been a lot better if it was just Georgette. As a matter of fact, it would be a lot better if it was just Georgette I was watching instead of all these stupid cartoon shenanigans!
• 1:34 Kanga and Roo, finally in a Pooh’s Adventure! And they’re…
• 1:37 …puppets.
• 1:53 And you should be, having wasted so many minutes singing.
• 3:11 For Pete’s sake, internet. Rock-a-Doodle isn’t Disney.
• 3:21 That anime character is Jafar’s son. That anime character is Jafar’s son…
• 3:52 PEOPLE
• 3:54 LIKE
• 3:56 THIS
• 4:02 [link]
• 4:22 Since when did she invite them?
• 4:35 Finally, an actual cousin in a series that related a plush doll to a real bear.
• 4:53 Except for me.
• 5:03 [link]
• 5:12 FOR FUCK’S SAKE YAKKO
• 5:19 [link]

Pooh and Ash’s Adventures of Scooby Doo and the Headless Horseman of Halloween, part 2. This is the slowest paced film with a horror theme since Night of Horror.

• 0:08 You should know - you’re Baloo from TaleSpin.
• 0:16 This is intended to be Baloo as he appeared in The Jungle Book. He wouldn’t know what “legal” means!
• 0:59 And speaking of hearing everything…
• 1:03 And here’s Dot Warner in her Leia costume she brings with her on every adventure.
• 1:23 Where’s his costume? Where’s Ash’s costume?!
• 1:36 What the creator should be thinking.
• 1:40 Oh, for Pete’s sake. Them too?
• 1:48 Oh SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
• 3:25 You should’ve asked that to the puppies, you dunce.
• 3:31 Which looks more like the lovechild of a beaver and a cheetah.
• 3:40 Me too, Lucy. Me too.
• 3:44 Dude, Fred Flintstone just called his wife “Barney”.
• 3:55 Not any of them!
• 4:09 TTARK: Except for you, Fred. What did you mean to dress up as, a caveman?
• 4:19 “Long time no see is pushing it a little bit, don’t you think? After all, you did last have an adventure in a LEGO game.
• 4:29 Kanga and Roo? It’s about bloody time.
• 4:40 COSMO: Windows Mooooooovie Maker!
• 5:03 OH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FRICK FRACK FUDGE POOP SHIT DICKS DICKS DICKS
• 5:44 No, don’t! You’ll be late for the party!
• 5:58 And that’s coming from someone without a voice.

It’s only a month and a week before Halloween, and yet Yakko the Wacko posted a Halloween special in early July. This video takes a crapload of cartoon characters onto a journey through Scooby-Doo yet again (shame he won’t re-upload it, it’s actually a lot less insane since I watched Pooh’s Adventures of Happy Days), extending an half-an-hour-long episode to two hours and seven minutes, and while it may not be quite as wild as the next crossover to involve Pooh Bear, Ash Ketchum and Scooby-Doo, it’s big enough of a crossover and a chore for me to take on. I’ve been pressured to do this for quite a while, so let’s see if we can wash away the nightmare that is Pooh and Ash’s Adventures of Scooby Doo and the Headless Horseman of Halloween, part 1.

• 0:00 The editing is so bad that Yakko lost his best copy of the Disney logo.
• 1:01 These studio logos are based on the characters in the title. So what has Pokémon got to do with Nickelodeon?
• 1:16 This dog has his own cartoon short. Wouldn’t be surprised if Yakko found that.
• 2:17 Did Ash just capture Rocko with his Pokéball?
• 3:08 Oh, goody. Benny’s artwork.
• 3:34 It’s been years since I last saw this.
• 4:57 Of course it had to open like Boo to You. Still a better way to open a Pooh’s Adventure than another desert.
• 6:26 Guess Timon had no idea what to wear, so he shared the costume with Gopher.
• 6:38 Dude, Timon and Gopher made a costume that looks like you and you’re going to praise Ash’s costume instead?
• 6:44 Peanuts? Good grief.
• 7:09 Well, now we know why those logos appeared at the beginning, but…
• 7:13 What
• 7:16 WHAAAAAT
• 7:20 Oh, come on!
• 7:30 Considering the toons they randomly add onto their team, I thought they already would have.
• 7:32 Benny is the best artist the Pooh’s Adventures community has to offer - if only he realised how bad his concepts are. And that’s coming from guy who the guy with an interest in fatties!
• 7:42 Well, it’s too bad he isn’t there to see it, isn’t it?
• 7:50 The only source of Garfield footage Yakko’s ever used.
• 8:08 Because that’s what he dressed up as.
• 8:26 Didn’t you see that? It was a donkey costume! Dedicated to you!
• 8:29 Oh, goodness. Here comes the “cousin” bit…
• 8:47 The whole Gumtree walrus thing Kevin Smith is making into a horror movie was just a prank. Oh, how I wish this thing was too.
• 8:59 With a party like this, I can see why.
• 9:09 Oh, but you will. Of course you will.
• 9:11 In Pooh’s Adventures, nobody’s late.
• 9:19 BROCK: We still need 1027 more friends and this party will be a blast!
• 9:26 Especially Baloo, because…
• 9:34 …here he is! The flesh-and-blood cousin of a talking blend of fabric and cotton wool!
• 9:46 Well, of bloody course it is. Who’d you assume it was, Pedobear?

I’ve re-uploaded the original cut of Pooh’s Adventures of Happy Days, just to help you remember what a mess it is.

It’s time for a short Benny, Leo and Johnny Adventure! I’ve been posting plenty of furry junk ever since BlackBuster took on the “Best Of” video, so I just thought I’d go back to riffing on the time-travelling lions. And boy, I can’t believe I never took this on before. In this short, they tarnish a classic that was made before the mouse we know and love started talking. Yes, they went that far. Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Steamboat Willie.

• 0:02 They muffled the audio to try and make it sound old. Nope.
• 1:11 See what I mean?
• 1:45 Was that supposed to be a Ben Stiller impersonation?
• 2:01 Subtitles actually fit quite well in this period of time, even though this came from the sound era. I just wish they were all subtitled so I wouldn’t have to hear that Rafiki voice again.
• 2:02 Excuse me?!
• 2:04 Except the microphone output, that is.
• 2:18 Really?
• 2:21 For a while I’ve imagined Mickey as the president. I’ve also imagined time travel to be illegal in the Toon world.
• 2:50 And here comes one of Benny’s biggest cartoon crushes.
• 4:03 Jesus, Benny’s done some bad impersonations but Mickey just takes the cake!
• 4:07 Shouldn’t Alex be taking the mickey out of Mickey? I mean, just look at who made the Madagascar trilogy.
• 4:16 Bully? Having travelled through time with a bunch of two-legger lions, shouldn’t she tell the difference between bossing and bullying?
• 5:16 In case you forgot, Benny likes this kind of situation a lot. Then again…
• 5:36 Just because they’ve barely done anything for the past minute! Besides, Mickey could already hear so what’s the use?
• 5:44 Mickey’s a first mate, so he’s smarter than you may think.
• 6:19 Alex seems more than pleased after all that.
• 6:25 SIMBA: Stop that or you’ll be lion food!
• 7:49 Oh, Jesus.
• 7:53 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 8:37 That is not, and I mean NOT, how you dance to 20’s music.
• 9:40 But you haven’t yiffed him yet!
• 9:42 This happens in pretty much every time travel journey they have.
• 9:47 Alex’s head may be big, but just look at this!

• Terrible impersonations: 
• Lack of contribution: 
• Inappropriate dancing: 
• Dumbing down: 
• Yiffing: 

Overall: 3.8/5

0.24/10. In this episode, we have learned that Leo’s time travel gizmo sucks, you always need to compare your voice to the original character before impersonating it, dialogue-free films should stay that way, and modern dance moves do not go with everything. Stay tuned for more furry crap, possibly even a full adventure video if I get any suggestions!

(Part Two here)

The Jon McDowell Self-Esteem Hour is brought to you by Dr. Phiebe’s Speech Therapy Institution.

Pooh’s adventures of Lego Pirates of the Caribbean the Video Game, part 7. I warned Reese to not make this thing drag on for hours. I advised him to cut out the boring bits. He just didn’t listen.

• 2:04 Desperation!
• 4:34 Some adventurers you are.

Pooh’s adventures of Lego Pirates of the Caribbean the Video Game, part 6. PEOPLE LIKE THIS.

• 1:02 This is the only crossover shot in the video. The rest is boring bullshit.

Pooh’s adventures of Lego Pirates of the Caribbean the Video Game, part 5. The villain meeting commences. Cue the evil laughter montage.

• 0:06 Why would they need an introduction like that when the villains already appeared so abruptly?
• 0:12 Smithers may not be very true to his character, but Reese sure got it better than EA did.
• 0:18 How can Reese even read that?
• 0:24 Again, why is he a villain? Because he cusses so much? Because he trashed the Power Rangers movie? I mean, he LOVES the Animaniacs, so why the hell is he evil in these videos?
• 0:34 Oh, what it would be like if AVGN Bugs was used as a reaction shot for Bugs himself.
• 0:50 Movie Maker is so weak it’s causing millisecond-long sound glitches when clips are muted.
• 0:55 Now Pinky and the Brain are villains? Wile E. I understand perfectly, but Pinky and the Brain? Just because they plot to take over the world, doesn’t mean they are legitimately sinister.
• 0:58 Jeez Louise, the splicing is so bad.
• 1:09 Is it so hard just to say “rule the Lego world?”
• 1:48 Well, at least we won’t have Reese explaining what happens next to the newcomers. Yet.
• 2:36 Finally, some new Bowser footage. And it still has its own captions! God damn!
• 2:48 I bet Reese had no problem at all playing Sonic the Glitch-hog.
• 2:59 Agh, I was wearing headphones!
• 3:05 Good thing there’s a Kraken in this game, or this would be completely ridiculous.