Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Pooh’s Adventures of Mr. Meaty: Moochmaster P., part 2. As I breathe a sigh of relief after months of working on the Adventures video to end all Adventures videos, I can get back to riffing proof that not even that video helps.

• 0:18 That’s right, Piglet. Horror.
• 0:19 You bunch of illogical wimps.
• 0:22 The consequences of a 10 year old KND member making out with an over-13?
• 0:36 Turns out even puppets are capable of making bad crossovers by themselves.
• 0:54 This is going to result in some extremely poor cinematography.
• 0:59 Because webcams make even worse horror films than those shot on handheld.
• 1:14 Because Reese can’t provide any more footage to save his life.
• 1:23 Aaagh! There’s nothing scarier than cartoon clips that aren’t meant to be there.
• 2:13 *muffled* Acting.
• 2:28 Stop making what isn’t even that funny boring.
• 3:37 [link]
• 4:00 Speaking of food, why is her head a fish?
• 4:03 Mwa mwa mwaaaaah.
• 4:23 Reese commented on my parody by defending his “girlfriend”. Hell, I draw a fictional me with an original, fictional girlfriend and yet I know the meaning of virginity.
• 4:26 Why would Numbuh 5 want to go out with anyone over the age of 13, or anyone who keeps picking their nose in public?
• 4:30 Again, GODZILLA IN A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT.
• 4:52 CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG IN A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT.
• 5:16 So apparently that burger triggers an ice cream flood when eaten.
• 5:44 How is he supposed to already know what “mooch” means?
• 5:49 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 6:06 Kinda forgot they were there. Laziness ahoy.
• 6:59 [link]
• 7:08 [link]
• 7:12 Says the guy picking his nose on camera.

Told you that dancing raccoon toy would get the part.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 8. Lucario only appears in the credits, which has a Miley Cyrus song, so the only comment I can give is…

• 2:17 GIRL: Granny, are Lucarios extinct?

• Crossover madness: 
• Lucario’s stupidity: 
• Lucario’s uselessness: 
• Grating typos: 
• Obviousness: 

Overall: 2/5

0.6/10. Pretty much the tamest and most simple crossover I’ve reviewed in a while. It’s bad, sure, but at least there’s some reaction shots that fit well, a little concern over the fact that Lucario is not like the others, and a single guest star as a breath of fresh air from the crossover overloads. Unfortunately, I’ve going to have to deal with what only fits in the sense that one comes from another company and another is a talking machine, but is just plain ridiculous.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 7.

• 0:50 What? Lucario’s still there, when he could’ve leaped his way down like he usually does?
• 3:20 You could’ve heard it if you actually saw it, you dumbass.
• 3:48 The #1 most fitting reaction shot in the entire video.
• 4:58 Good thing the guy who made this video knows when to keep his characters relatively quiet.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 6.

• 0:06 Does it even look like Lucario?
• 2:00 This guy could’ve kicked Steele’s ass when he had the change, but no. This is one of those videos.
• 2:26 That doesn’t help at all.
• 3:13 *drinks to the shot of Lucario running away*
• 6:35 I’ve got to hand it to this video - at least it takes awareness of how unusual the guest star looks in the subject universe.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 5.

• 2:03 Another actual guest star? Ho boy…
• 2:37 You call that saving him?
• 3:12 [link]
• 4:38 You’re a Lucario! You should know!
• 5:33 “There okay!!” Ugh…
• 7:38 It could be worse.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 4. This is the smallest commentary I’ve done in years. The fewer the better…

• 5:39 Lucario’s supposed to be a badass, not a dopey/aggressive animated sidekick.
• 6:40 You said you would help, didn’t you?
• 7:58 Subtitles?

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 3. The film is loosely based on a true story. The true story did not have talking birds or polar bears, but it sure as hell didn’t have any blue, two-legged jackals.

• 7:24 Lucario is just working with Boris, and ruined a joke. That just makes him even more useless.
• 7:31 Where did that rock come from anyway?
• 8:54 That coming from a Pokémon.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 2. Wait, where’s Lucario?

• 1:26 There’s Lucario. How did he get all the way to 1925?
• 1:40 And Lucario doesn’t have company. Dull, but a relief.
• 2:12 Lucario, what are you sighing about? You’re not the one with a crush on a red husky.
• 3:31 Why do I feel that Lucario is going to be more developed that Pooh Bear ever was in his adventures?
• 4:20 This video’s stench?
• 5:08 Well, of course it didn’t. Your voice is too whispery.
• 5:32 What an awkward use of a sound effect.
• 6:25 Ash cameo. So he isn’t alone after all.
• 7:33 Forget what I said earlier, Lucario basically copies Boris.

Balto finally came to Netflix UK, and while it is a little over the top, it still provides a decent amount of entertainment value. In sumnation, I will finally choose to riff an old submission from Joseph Martinez that invovles Balto, and Pokémon. No, it’s not Ash Ketchum, who already has plans on screwing it up, but one single Pokémon. Get ready to sit through one of the only surviving Pooh’s Adventure videos currently on Vimeo, Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 1.

• 0:04 Our first true sign of badness - a lazy recolour.
• 0:28 Hmm, no theme song. There’s a departure.

Winnie the Pooh in Star Wars again? That could only be used as a negative parody of Disney's acquisition of Lucasfilm. But no, he’s doing it again, and it’s up on YouTube, only it’s Lego. And it’s the hi-def video game. Yes, they’re taking on another video game, and it’s from the era where these minifigures could only speak gibberish. If it’s all gibberish, keep it gibberish, as having guest stars speaking in perfect English will not make sense especially in a Star Wars remake. Unfortunately, the douchebags who teamed up on Pooh’s Adventures of Happy Days were stupid enough to make this happen, in a double bill no less. So, without further ado, we begin this double bill with a puppet show, or so it was intended to be. Pooh’s Adventures of Mr. Meaty: Moochmaster P, part 1.

• 0:08 I already can tell that this thing’s badness is going to be quite similar to Phoenix Games’ Dingo releases.
• 0:34 Because the PS3 has too big a menu screen.
• 0:46 Screw that bit. He couldn’t even find footage from The Complete Saga.
• 2:00 I just hope Yakko’s not reading this when I say that if he’s crazy enough he could turn Slap T. Pooch into another crossover slave.
• 2:18 You already showed a Nickelodeon logo, what’s the point of showing another?! 
• 3:45 That logo sequence lasted 3¾ minutes. Further evidence of Yakko never caring how long anything is.
• 4:04 WALDORF: Hey, the frog’s not saying anything! Have I gone deaf?  STATLER: You probably have. Can I join in?
• 4:24 All those clips Reese has of Regular Show, and the best you could find is a still image.
• 5:10 It’s Jetta’s husband!
• 5:49 The Heffalump hunt again? This should be used more often, instead of that stupid desert scene.
• 6:03 Even though it’s still outdoors in the Hundred Acre Wood.
• 6:07 Did Yakko take footage from his own video and paste it into this, instead of just copying from one MSWMM to another? Lazy git.
• 6:09 Reese, who turned into some chubby kid with a monocle.
• 6:15 POOH: Nothing!
• 6:22 If you all got jobs, then everyone currently working would be out of business.
• 6:26 
• 6:32 Apart from Disney, that is.
• 6:40 So you got fired?
• 6:55 Good thing Patrick’s in decent character.
• 7:10 
• 7:20 It’s Little Godzilla’s wife!
• 7:34 You have a camera, Reese. Do more than just combine subtitles with actual voices.
• 7:38 Really, it isn’t that hard.
• 7:49 Judging from the clip that came before, that’s not how these Oobi guys talk.
• 7:52 …Wha?
• 7:53 Uh, you do know that Reese used the actual Simpsons in his recent video, right?
• 8:11 Effort?
• 8:41 Didn’t Poky say his name in the same footage Shy did?
• 8:59 “You know who else isn’t going to play a very big part in this? My Mom!”
• 9:15 For my parody, I actually found a clip where Fred says his and Barney’s names. It isn’t that hard if you put “I’m Fred Flintstone” in quotes on Google.
• 9:38 He went as far as to take footage from a parody.
• 10:11 This introduction scene has lasted over 3 minutes. Cut it out, Yakko. Just cut it out.
• 10:40 JOSH AND PARKER: Pfffffff ha ha hahahahahahaha!
• 11:16 There are so many characters here that I doubt all of them would hear what they’re saying.
• 11:34 This guy is a puppy! Walking on four legs! How the hell is he supposed to be a good fry cook?
• 12:17 Good thing Yakko never forgets his characters, unlike the last double bill.
• 13:24 Here’s another case of giant monsters in a bloody restaurant.
• 13:36 Joke ruined by out-of-character dancing.

Proof that people like this:

• “I love this.”
• “Wow. Looks like it took you a long time to make this.”
• “Not bad, boys. Not bad.”
• “Awesome Job, This Video Always Make Me Laugh.”
• “mr. meaty? that’s awsome i watch that show for years it’s awsome”
• “Not bad. I also liked it when Squidward is quilty after saying he respects the microphone at the Krusty Krab when he actually doesn’t.”

Pooh’s Adventures Dr Rabbit Double Feature, part 10. Another whole song about visiting your dentist which the Pooh’s Adventures fans don’t get.

• 0:43 Wait a minute. Those villains are definitely going to return, even though that was just a dream! Oh, how I hate the logic of these videos.
• 1:07 How many cousins do these characters even have?
• 1:12 She had to wait until then to speak. All thanks to Yakko.
• 1:14 There are so much more shots of Rabbit that could’ve been used. Ones where he is actually happy.
• 1:16 You barely even talked to her!
• 1:21 What an abrupt ending.
• 1:29 I just hope some of these characters (like Numbuh 362) aren’t as heavily wasted.
• 1:36 Not more adventures through Let’s Plays…
• 1:49 Pooh’s Adventures of Super Mario 64 DS? How the hell are you going to do that? Wouldn’t the original be easy enough?
• 2:10 This finger I’m holding up isn’t my thumb, you know.
• 2:17 Again, that’s not how you open a bonus ending.
• 2:26 You already said she looked pretty.
• 2:34 *insert Lisa reaction shot here*
• 2:40 And there’s where the Simpsons crack pairing picture came from.
• 2:47 [link]

• Engrish: 
• Artistic mess: 
• Creepy fascination towards minor characters: 
• Uselessness of certain characters: 
• Lessons not learned: 

Overall: 7/5

-0.4/10. Two videos in a row, and both of them are as bad as plaque itself. Some of the characters are wasted on reaction shots, minor characters get more presence than main characters, grammar is awful, smart characters are turned into retards and the lessons taught by these videos are botched by idiotic battle sequences and Simpsons characters. And this is one of the most popular YTP sources we’re talking about! Ah, well. At least it’s only a double feature.

Pooh’s Adventures Dr Rabbit Double Feature, part 9. If those monsters are supposed to personify plaque, then what are the new villains supposed to represent?

• 0:08 Like who? Not only is this bunny badly drawn, his subtitle is badly placed.
• 1:08 Silent gasping montage.
• 1:18 The only thing scary here is the creepy fascination towards little cartoon girls Reese has.
• 1:29 Audible screaming montage.
• 1:50 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 1:55 Not even Reese did much!
• 2:01 This is supposed to be an educational cartoon about how to brush your teeth, not a manchild’s wet dream!
• 2:51 Smithers is a snake, when in some shots he was a human. Because they don’t care.