Heck No Pooh's Adventures

What’s the point of watching full level gameplay not for walkthrough purposes but for some kind of movie? What is even the point of making subtitled cartoon characters interrupt gameplay footage that isn’t even yours? Case in point, Pooh’s Adventures of Epic Mickey, Benny the Beast’s Adventures of Villains’ Revenge and even worse, Winnie the Pooh Goes to Hotel Mario. As it turns out, the kid who created the latter has also turned the entire first Crash Bandicoot game into a Pooh’s Adventure, and the critics are raving like the ever-accepting dickdrinkers they are. This’ll probably consist of me saying “What’s the point” over and over again, but anyhow let’s play “Try Not to Get Brain Damage Watching Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 1”.

• 0:51 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 1:01 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 1:35 Mickey’s House of Villains may have had a lot of villains from separate media in one film, but this is ridiculous.
• 2:11 Dat watermark. Makes you wish the guy who made this was intelligent to record his own games by camera or DVR, doesn’t it? Of course, if he were intelligent this video wouldn’t exist.
• 3:00 And this is exactly how fun the adventure’s going to be, folks.
• 3:40 What’s Bowser doing in a PlayStation game?
• 3:46 Wouldn’t King Koopa be a good enough alternative? Bowser has two captions at once.
• 3:49 Unless poor continuity saves the day.
• 4:16 So far, this sucks even as a YTP.
• 4:20 You know how sucky a video can be just from the utterly banal “you’re” confusion.
• 4:28 Prepare for an extreme lack of rhyming.

Note 4: Please forgive me for making this intro 9 minutes long.

Here’s a video for a stupid upcoming crossover!

Here’s part of disneyJSman’s Pooh’s Adventures of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, a combination of how to and how not to do crossovers, and by far the only part. It was done over a year and a half too soon after the first part of the double bill, Pooh’s Adventures of Runaway Brain.

Basically, profanity is muted, Roger is Rabbit’s cousin, the obvious is stated, silence is broken, there is no explanation for time travel, Buster forgets to say hi to his uncle and grammar is flawed (“ashored”, “tuff”), but at least in this it’s actually noted that they’re toons. Otherwise this would be another Pooh’s Adventures of Happy Days.

7:15 Why can’t every other Pooh’s Adventure be like this?

Pooh’s Adventures of Tex Avery: Who Killed Who?, part 2. Sacrilege, isn’t it?

• 0:14 “You” can mean “all of you”, you know.
• 0:35 Go away, Pooh. You only made me laugh in your newest movie.
• 0:38 Another running gag I hate - those “small problems” are really bees, and the problems aren’t just supposed to be his.
• 0:42 Does this guy even know the meaning of the word “humour”?
• 0:53 I’m pretty sure someone would be laughing at how bad the spelling is.
• 1:03 It’s Perry, you illiterate.
• 1:13 Thanks for reminding us what that gun really was…
• 1:39 [link]
• 1:46 Come on, Pinkie, you’re MUCH cartoonier than that.
• 2:20 *insert clip with subtitle saying “Oh yes it is” here*
• 2:37 Good thing this joke isn’t interrupted, otherwise I’d have a similar experience to when Chrome’s Flash player lagged.
• 2:46 Just imagine if this was a Berenstein Bears’ Adventure instead.
• 3:10 Suspense just isn’t suspense when you don’t shut up.
• 3:32 Bandicam watermark cameo.
• 3:36 Trainboy’s use of the zip sound was more thought out than this!
• 3:42 Wouldn’t it be at least better to sutitle “I” with “you”? Or just cut out everything that comes after “Uh, *name*?”
• 4:12 Not the jerky recording again!
• 4:23 And stay down there.
• 4:33 Think about this - a portly dog man fell down a trap door only a wink wider than him, and a fucking train fell down the same hole.
• 4:45 You fools don’t know Tex Avery logic.
• 5:03 Thanks for the heads up, Thomas…
• 5:09 Try to imagine a train riding up and down those stairs at the same speed.
• 5:25 Captured the murder? Since when did you bring cameras?

• Audience stupidity: 
• Killjoys: 
• Trainfaggotry: 
• Grammatical errors: 
• The speed of Tex rolling in his grave: 

Overall: 7/5

-0.4/10. Further proof that not everything is better with ponies. I would ask this guy if he laughed at the cartoon before he watched it, and if his videos are meant to be funny at all, but the bitch blocked me. I just hope he reads this Tumblr post and realises what a mistake he made ruining classic comedy and dead-on satire. Any scene that was intended to be speechless is butchered by unnecessary subtitles, every line of dialogue is an answer, and jokes are explained and not train logic. Is this was we’ve all come to? Failing to understand what made Tex Avery such a legend and mashing it up with cartoons that avoid his kind of logic, and having people find the outcome funny? What’s next, Pooh’s Adventures of Roger Rabbit?

Oh, I already mentioned that one, didn’t I?

Comments:

• “0:34 To requote that guy in the Godzilla movie: "That’s a lot of guns!”“
• "That was awesome!”

Awesome my ass.

This user had the BALLS to use a cartoon directed by one of the greatest animation directors of all time! I tried to keep myself from liking it, but I was smiling; not at the stupid edited clips from Pooh, Thomas, and the ponies, but at the cartoon itself. It was then I realized I should watch the REAL cartoon, instead of just watching some stupid crossover. Just goes to show that you don’t even want to mess with someone as awesome as Tex Avery.

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Although I wouldn’t usually riff something that’s already been done in my formula, let’s solve the mystery as to why people like the only way Who Killed Who can be watched on YouTube, Pooh’s Adventures of Tex Avery: Who Killed Who?, part 1.

• 0:00 At least the use of the Disney logo makes sense in this video, unlike those videos where is was just used for shits and giggles.
• 1:50 You do know that you can take the title card and edit it on Paint rather than steal a photograph of a bunch of knives, right?
• 2:04 *insert rabid brony joke about psycho ponies here*
• 2:14 And this horrible video.
• 2:48 So that’s what the screaming was all about.
• 3:34 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
• 4:01 I just wish their introductions could be more elaborate rather than just have them first appear staring.
• 4:15 [link]
• 4:29 Have her say “Oh my” and not “Oh…my” and this video would be a teensy bit shorter.
• 4:35 I’m just going to assume that Thomas and friends are really toys and the attic is the worst place they could ever be. And don’t get me started on the ponies.
• 4:57 Do you have to ask them about everything?
• 5:26 “What” montage.
• 5:41 POOH: This is a Pooh’s Adventure. Duhhhhh.
• 5:54 Because if the trains did take the lead, then it would take quite a while.
• 6:18 Twilight Sparkle replacing Eeyore’s line? The two-timer.
• 6:47 Your boiler knocking?
• 7:12 Gasping montage.
• 7:28 Yeah, there’s rocks and cactuses everywhere.
• 7:32 Except the ponies aren’t stupid enough not to know what an attic is. Good thing this is coming from the train’s mouth.
• 7:38 The answer’s going to be along the lines of, “Either you’re homeless or you’re stupid.”
• 7:51 And here’s our first three ruined gags.
• 8:45 Hey! I was smiling, you killjoy!
• 8:55 You’d have to be a real asshole to ruin comedy like that.
• 9:06 I’ll have you know that people found this video funny. People who haven’t actually seen the damn short before.
• 9:14 The audience member = sane individual. Officer Hound = 76859Thomas.
• 9:26 Introduction montage.
• 9:48 RAILTY: Got that name from marrying a train!
• 9:50 The guy at the bottom? Well, you did.
• 9:56 Pinkie Pie = sane individual. Railty = 76859Thomas.
• 10:18 [link]
• 10:25 Poor Tigger, must have a cold.
• 10:27 “inersent” PEOPLE LIKE THIS.

Comments:

• “Well, this is something! An adventure of a single cartoon rather than a whole special or movie! Nice. A good cartoon as well.”
• “So much gasping.”
• “Very good work! You know, most of my fave toons have mystery-themed eps (other than Scooby Doo, which has them all the time). Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: Remote Island Syndrome, My Little Pony Friendship is Magic: MMMystery on the Friendship Express, Gravity Falls: Headhunters, Adventure Time: Mystery Train / The Creeps. This classic, however, is what set the mould for all those. Eat your heart out, Scooby Doo! Great stuff! :)”
• “Sweet!”
• “Nice job on this crossover so far!”
• “Awesome crossover, I can’t wait for part 2. :D”

…Do these people even have a sense of humour?

Pooh’s Adventures of Frogs, part 8. Did you know at all that my brain just imploded?

• 0:01 Las Vegas? Do I still have to keep asking questions?!
• 0:07 YouTube, you just made a mistake worse than the worst updates you’ve put onto this site.
• 0:35 I’ll just refer to this guy as Jerr Meredith to annoy him.
• 1:24 Jerr, is that the best picture of Owl you could possibly find?
• 1:52 John Goodman? As the frog prince?
• 1:59 I heard more than one actor/actress playing each of these characters.
• 2:13 I’m still pissed that Francis was also played by Chris Harley.
• 2:20 He never even used these images in the first place!
• 2:48 I thought Joan Rex was a realistic lizard. And a girl!
• 2:55 Really? I’m hearing quite a bit of Klaus Badelt here.
• 4:05 And the test audience lost all concept of reality.
• 4:19 And hundreds of other characters taking the original cast’s places!
• 5:57 Which Romeo and Juliet, though? Leonard Whiting & Olivia Hussey? Leonardo DiCaprio & Claire Danes? The seals?
• 6:04 What prince?
• 6:11 Nasty Jack, a.k.a. Captain Frax.

I advised the creator of these videos to mute any clip he subtitles, and he remembered that for the future. However, when I advised him to use the right clips for the characters, he said that it’s about the frog attitude more than the appearance.

Bullfrog.

• Lack of Kermit: 
• Lack of frog footage: 
• Laziness: 
• Questions to ask: 
• Brain cancer: 

Overall: 11/5

-1.2/10. This is so confusing it makes Cloud Atlas look quite simple. Who’s a frog? Who’s fighting who? Who’s talking to who? Who’s serving what purpose? What’s Pooh Bear up to? This guy could’ve used any frog footage, like Swing Wedding, Demetan Croaker, Michigan J. Frog cartoons, Freddie as F.R.O.7, the Frogger cartoon, Frogger gameplay, The Princess and the Frog, and especially Kermit. Really, Kermit was a pirate in Muppet Treasure Island! You could’ve had the chance, but instead you had to go with clips from Black Sheep and Spaceballs! The guy who made this speaks fine English, but that’s nothing to overcome his flawed logic when he made this video. And who did he even think John Goodman was? Emperor Kuzco? Well, I’ll start riffing another crossover once I get back from osteopathy. Until then.

Pooh’s Adventures of Frogs, part 7. Did you know at all that I’ve been asking you nearly 70 questions?

• 0:01 Who are the hyenas supposed to be? This a story about bloody frogs!
• 0:38 Really, why are they fish now? Is this just because the owner of the Thug Tug has an eyepatch?
• 1:06 Really, who died? And is crappy VHS quality the best you could film?
• 1:42 Now that’s a frog. But who’s the fairy?
• 1:59 I was hoping he’d remain a frog instead of turning into a lion and an alien.
• 2:14 So… that’s the magic carpet, right?
• 3:27 Surprise lizard!
• 4:04 And not even Joan Rex was a frog.
• 4:34 They saved Camelot and not Wartropolis?
• 5:09 Notice how the titles look like they were filmed.
• 5:24 Buzz was David Spade, and now he’s a fucking bird.
• 5:28 Say, what were his friends doing for the past 5½ minutes?
• 5:31 Just frogs? You’re also humans, fairies, lions, mice, aliens…
• 6:23 …always make sure clips are muted when they’re subtitled, and when making a crossover story involving a certain species, make sure you use one character at a time!

Here’s the exciting conclusion to Pooh’s first Jam adventure! There will be more episodes later, and remember, if you don’t like it, it’s your own fault.

Nope. It’s yours.

Pooh’s Adventures of Frogs, part 6. Did you know at all that there is an anime called The Brave Frog?

• 0:09 I assume that those two mice are supposed to be Pooh and Tigger.
• 0:14 The guy from the Felix the Cat movie? I thought the villain was Rasputin among many other characters!
• 1:19 I don’t think that cursor seems too happy to be involved.
• 1:31 Oh, no! A hole! That is actually a different cave!
• 1:36 You already found Christopher Robin.
• 2:23 Abu and Aladdin? What are they doing here? Then again, what the hell is everyone doing here?
• 2:53 A magic carpet now? What is up with this story?
• 3:55 The blinds are my favourite characters by far.
• 4:44 Indiana bloody Jones. Ugh…
• 4:48 Snakes? What s*obligatory repeated Pooh reaction shot*
• 4:52 And now he’s using Harry Potter.
• 6:10 Chicken Little? Why?
• 6:20 Are they just reaa[tr;mwes touslwa u,rcqw,u3towli,q4iuál, ctwqk5cthwaq2
• 6:35 Why do I have to keep asking so many questions?!
• 6:58 It never works, Pooh. It’s no use.
• 7:04 You used actual Thumbelina footage earlier ago. Why take a low-quality image now?
• 7:39 Wait, they’re still pirates?
• 8:09 And the princess is a boy again.
• 8:42 And a lion again. Seriously, who’s talking?
• 10:49 No you didn’t. An alien did.

Pooh’s Adventures of Frogs, part 5. Did you know at all that the rest of Muppet Treasure Island had a frog in pirate attire?

• 0:00 Pirates of the Carribean? How many people do they have on board this blasted ship?
• 0:52 My face while watching this.
• 1:18 The whole problem was resolved using a clip from Spaceballs.
• 1:22 Yes, Pooh Bear. Where HAVE you been?
• 1:29 We still have 12 minutes and 20 seconds left of this part, and three more parts after that. So what the hell will happen next?
• 1:38 Yes, the princess is now a lion.
• 1:40 That’s Timon and Pumbaa, you confused asshole!
• 2:00 Oh, how this story would sound in context…
• 5:02 So… who died again?
• 5:45 They’re mice now? This is a story about frogs! FROGS! Frogs do not have fur!
• 6:07 Really, who died?
• 6:20 Lilly’s a boy?
• 6:40 [link]
• 7:33 Now he’s using clips from Atlantis, just because Milo says “murder of the royal family”.
• 8:21 And after four parts and 8:21 minutes, we finally get a Paw and Order running gag.
• 8:43 Captains can be friendly and perfectly wonderful, you know.
• 9:03 Christopher Robin’s become much less British since Pooh found him.
• 9:23 The princess is a boy, and Captain Frax is a woman. I really hate this.
• 9:39 Another case of failed subtitling continuity.
• 9:47 Eek! Something that’s not actually scary!
• 9:52 Would it make sense to film gameplay and cutscenes in Frogger instead of badly placing images of Frogger and the original Lily?
• 9:56 And now another sign of laziness in picture choice - Frogger looks different, he’s right behind Lily, and his eye is glitched.
• 10:15 D'oh, just as it was exposing her eyes.
• 10:20 Someone breaking the fourth wall on Pooh Bear? That’s against the law!
• 10:24 Look who’s talking.
• 10:30 
• 11:11 I see badly recorded footage from a lousy Disney cash-in.

Pooh’s Adventures of Frogs, or should I say, Pooh’s Adventures of an Assortment of Muppets, Good Animation and Stupid Live-Action Comedies, part 4. Did you know at all that Frogger used to be a cartoon?

• 0:00 Wartropolis is that spaceport from Treasure Planet now?!
• 0:34 And now the frogs are aliens. Good God, video…
• 2:10 Now the pun doesn’t make much sense!
• 2:54 We can already tell she’s a cat person.
• 3:11 You forgot to subtitle that damn introduction.
• 4:08 The guy who created this video must think he’s created one epic adventure.
• 4:57 Pocahontas. Of course.
• 5:08 How many ships are there?
• 6:33 So the princess is now that girl from The Rescuers?
• 6:41 This isn’t a movie! It’s someone changing the channel!
• 7:26 The cowboys turned into fish.
• 7:30 But who blew them?
• 7:37 The Parent Trap? Now, I’ve seen some good crossovers mixing both animation and live-action movies together to make a story. This is doing it wrong. Who’s supposed to be talking?
• 7:49 Finally, actual cartoon frog footage.
• 8:13 No! No Home on the Range bunny rabbit!
• 8:27 No, no! No more Pocahontas footage! I want Ian McKellen as he appeared in Flushed Away!
• 9:01 Can anyone help me explain this entire story?
• 11:03 So the princess is Pocahontas?

Pooh’s Adventures of Frogs, part 3. Did you know at all that there is a movie called The Princess and the Frog?

• 0:11 Talk about a Blind Owl.
• 1:03 He’s been kidnapped!
• 2:09 All I can follow from this video is Anastasia’s parents have been cursed, Mulan is gone and Christopher Robin’s friends believe that he’s gone missing when he’s really gone somewhere else.
• 3:33 This is the second Pooh’s Adventure I’ve seen that introduces Pooh using footage from The Search for Christopher Robin, and yet this one sucks even more.
• 3:59 Good thing this is meant to be an original story, otherwise I’d be screaming with rage at these musical numbers.
• 5:28 Two people actually believe that is not Skull.
• 6:26 Did I forget to mention how poor the frame rate has suddenly become?
• 6:57 
• 7:05 Ladies and gentlemen, the making of a Pooh’s Adventure.
• 7:13 Through the middle of this part I advised the creator to mute when subtitling, and just because he took that advice doesn’t mean I should stop riffing.
• 7:24 THESE PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AN INSECT AND A ROYAL FROG.
• 7:45 THESE PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AN INSECT AND A ROYAL FROG.
• 8:02 DAVID SPADE AND CHRIS FARLEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AN INSECT AND A ROYAL FROG.
• 8:18 You had to wait until then to use actual frog pictures?
• 8:23 Ah, a true sign of pure laziness. Did you know at all that Winnie the Pooh has more than one movie, not to mention a whole franchise?
• 8:30 Good grammar and extremely poor editing do not mix.
• 8:43 THIS GUY WAS A CHARACTER IN BLACK SHEEP.
• 8:59 You did know, yet you could only use images for the conversation? [link]
• 9:00 These frogs are very strange beings, I tell you.
• 9:09 Now Francis and Buzz are the two guys from Disney’s Around the World in 80 Days? [link]
• 9:28 Oh dear, I’m getting a TheNewStoryteller vibe here…
• 9:57 Despicable Me? What the hell kind of adventure is this supposed to be?
• 9:59 So Wartropolis is in Egypt now?
• 10:02 Not even the visuals are fooling anyone.
• 10:20 Is Mulan the princess now?
• 10:25 Where is Wartropolis anyway? Russia? China? America? Britain? Egypt? China? [link]
• 10:38 He finally used the reaction shot from Pooh’s Heffalump Movie, and that’s still irritating.
• 10:40 Who’s the cow supposed to be?
• 11:04 What’s with the Muppet Treasure Island song? Who’s the boy supposed to be?
• 11:53 Who are Gonzo and Rizzo supposed to be?

Pooh’s Adventures of Frogs, part 2. Did you know at all that there is a movie called Freddie as F.R.O.7?

• 0:26 We know that’s Anastasia, you dumbshit. Stop screwing with history even harder! (No offence to Anastasia)
• 1:53 I said MUTING. This has so much failed subtitling it makes that Father Christmas video look clean.
• 2:50 Don’t you mean Captain Frax?
• 3:51 WORST SUBTITLING EVER.
• 4:57 Huh? Another movie?
• 5:00 Oh. A real Disney movie. (No offence to Anastasia) Isn’t this supposed to be about pirates?
• 5:04 Two fathers? Ana- I mean, Lilly, must be one odd princess.
• 5:36 End of movie confusion, back to reason as to why things like this get made confusion.
• 6:43 I might have to say it all the way through, but what is supposed to be going on here?

Well, camcorders have been used in LP’s, and previous Pooh’s Adventures functioned like LP’s, so it was inevitable that we had a camcorder Pooh’s Adventures.

Frogs? You mean the B-movie where a town is infested by a swarm of killer frogs? Eh, I could’ve already imagined that Pooh would take on horror. *reads the description* … Captain Frax? Princess Lilly? Wartrop- *searches for the names listed*

You managed to think up your own characters, whoever you are, and yet the best you could do with them was make the whole thing a Pooh’s Adventure. Well, while the guy who submitted this already reviewed it, the same thing happened with Pooh’s Adventures of Happy Days. Let’s riff, not just analyse, Pooh’s Adventures of Frogs, part 1.

• 0:00 Oh great, it’s already suffering from disneyJSman syndrome.
• 0:23 Childish Disney logo! Boo!
• 0:31 Two logos from WETA Digital in a row. Peter Jackson would be so ashamed.
• 1:09 Ironic how a logo commonly seen in educational programs could appear in something so brainless.
• 1:40 You don’t see this everyday in a Pooh’s Adventure. I’ll give him that.
• 2:05 Actually, they’ve flown spaceships and battled giant monsters. Would they count as the greatest?
• 8:27 And now that tender moment from the beginning of Pooh’s Grand Adventure is butchered by the opening of Muppet Treasure Island, and the creator was clearly too lazy to cover up the opening credits.
• 8:44 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 8:51 Your Star Wars opening crawl isn’t fooling anyone but the idiots who like these videos.
• 9:13 Couldn’t even film it directly from the movie, huh?
• 9:27 Kermit’s going to be involved, isn’t he? I sure hope so.
• 11:23 It exploded us all the way to Russia.
• 11:38 So how did Pooh go back all those years?
• 11:43 MUTING. It isn’t that hard. Also, that’s a very badly place subtitle. Also, it appears that Russia is populated by frogs. Also, apparently those people are supposed to be frogs. Also, people like this.

The guy who put Vanellope von Schweetz into Perfect Blue puts another poor, computer-generated little Disney girl into a zombie film. The hell is wrong with this guy?!