Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Rarity’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Endangered Animals: Part 5. To be continued?

• 0:15 How can they be smart like the narrator, but then as curious as Henry?
• 0:26 This is what happens when Japanese monsters ruin education.
• 0:48 Quiet! Your personalities confuse me!
• 1:32 *rolls his eyes*
• 1:47 RARITY: Especially the bronies.
• 1:59 You don’t say, fashion diva.
• 2:25 You’re supposed to know that!
• 3:13 Yum.

Well, that’s all there is of Rarity’s Adventures of Amazing Animals, but I can’t review it because it’s been more than a month since this part was uploaded.

Rarity’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Endangered Animals: Part 4. The characters suddenly change personalities.

• 0:05 *slams his head on the desk repeatedly*
• 0:09 Then according to the lack of spaces, this was probably created by a lizard.
• 1:02 Probably because of a snake, a monster and a fashion-crazed unicorn.
• 1:27 Henry does not need to be corrected as he speaks.
• 1:33 Look who’s friggin’ talking.
• 1:58 You’re a cartoon. It’s likely there would be.
• 2:24 It doesn’t even help that you interrupted the whole way through.
• 2:39 A species dying out is the same as becoming extinct.
• 3:29 SO MUCH REPETITION
• 4:31 Actually, you can.
• 5:19 At last, Vakishim gets a new shot.

Rarity’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Endangered Animals: Part 3. The shorter part of the video is, the less you have to say. Oh, and Kaa’s still a pussy.

• 0:13 Not everyone in the world is a young boy raised in the jungle.
• 0:56 And you’re a farm’s worst enemy.
• 1:04 How should you know when you didn’t know about the environment in the first place?
• 1:14 All we care about is Henry, because he’s the curious one. Why need the rest?
• 2:03 Why does Rarity keep doing a Lady Gaga in certain shots?
• 2:08 Language, Kaa!
• 2:20 Eh heh heh heh heh…

Rarity’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Endangered Animals: Part 2. Kaa arrives. Again.

• 0:10 RARITY: I must be careful of which clothes I wear!
• 0:21 Zomg! I did not know such a thing!
• 0:53 True. They make things like this.
• 1:10 I know… *glares at Vakishim*
• 1:38 VAKISHIM: And everyone else!
• 1:54 VAKISHIM: I’m not even a dinosaur, anyway.
• 2:02 No, I’m not into that stupid “pony chicken” joke.
• 2:41 Except that was a chicken.
• 2:43 You already took over an Endangered Animals episode!
• 2:56 MOWGLI: How many times do I have to tell you, Kaa? Get some glasses!
• 3:15 KAA: Pleassssse be quiet, or the ressssssssultsssssss will be quite aroussssssing…
• 3:47 Seriously?

Well, I’m back from Kefalonia, and today I’m going to be ripping into another butchery of an educational programme. This time, it has ponies. And daikaijus. And it hasn’t been completed yet. Will this be as messy as the last one, or will it just be stupid like Ed, Edd ‘n’ Eddy’s journey with Nick Jr characters? Begin part 1 of Rarity’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Endangered Animals.

• 0:00 Sure, Amazing Animals is partly Disney. But what’s the need for this?
• 0:42 Was that a joke about the username?
• 0:44 Spaces…
• 0:57 So… is this Rarity’s Adventures or Twilight’s Adventures?
• 1:19 It’s Rarity’s Adventures of Friendship is Magic!
• 2:07 THAT ANNOTATION
• 2:34 Is that prati-WHAT?!
• 3:09 It could’ve been worse, Henry. You could’ve been greeted by a talking teddy bear, a stuffed tiger, a stuffed pig, a stuffed donkey, a rabbit, a sponge, a starfish, two cats, two dogs, two penguins, two walruses, a trio of retro cartoon stereotypes, a lion, a meerkat, a warthog, a human-faced orange, a purple skunk…
• 3:14 Any of you guys heard Harry Hill’s joke about the two greyhounds and a horse? No? Then you ain’t from my country.
• 4:13 Wouldn’t it be more fitting if he ran from that giant monster Ultraman’s supposed to be fighting?
• 4:20 Of course. It was she who scared you, not the narrator.

Pooh’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Poisonous Animals: Part 7. What did we learn?

• 0:00 No, I know something about what makes these videos so terrible.
• 0:08 See how obsessive this guy truly is?
• 0:29 Herp dee derp.
• 0:41 Well, from what I’ve heard, Rarity and some Japanese monster got the chance.
• 1:05 What a slightly abrupt ending.
• 1:47 And I have had it with these *cut* toons in this *cut* TV show!
• 2:52 Including Kevin Schon/Quinton Flynn, in case you’re that lazy.
• 3:24 Seriously?
• 3:44 Makes sense, but not as much with the star power involved.
• 3:55 I already gave my nope to these.
• 4:09 And that’s the only time Gary ever got mentioned.
• 4:24 Elroy’s what?
• 4:33 Which fortunately didn’t happen.
• 4:38 Which didn’t happen either. :)
• 4:54 *drools ignorantly*

• Crossovers:
• Typos: 
• Narrator confusion: 
• Dumbing down of Garfield:
• Dumbing down of the audience:

Overall: 4.6/5

0.08/10. The original show is half and hour long with ads included. The edits in this video extend it to nearly 51 minutes. See how much time Pooh’s Adventures can use up? This video just goes to show that the more characters you have, the less you’ll learn, since they can be such a distraction to the most important subject. Even with typos and fan-created family trees, kids will only feel dumber than before. Tune in tomorrow when I probably tear into a submission I have enough time for, as next week I’ll be in Greece.

Pooh’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Poisonous Animals: Part 6. Hey! Here’s something that oughta attract SpongeBob’s attention!

• 0:35 What’s with everyone saying “yea”?
• 1:06 A minute has passed, and no SpongeBob.
• 1:15 So now the penguins and walruses fit. Just take out the cats and dogs.
• 1:17 CHILD: Mom! Look! An anemonie! MOM: What kind of educational show is this? *turns it off*
• 1:53 SPONGEBOB: And especially not Gary. He’s a snail! And he’s mine! (Geez, there’s so much characters here that two have been forgotten.)
• 2:26 Aren’t Tip and Dash swimmers? Because they were able to tell what a barracuda is.
• 2:37 Even he thinks this is poorly written!
• 2:57 RABBIT: They remind us of our friends, Marlin and Nemo!
• 3:19 Fack you, Yakko. FACK YOU.
• 3:21 How could you not know if you go to Disneyland with him?
• 3:23 Oh God. This is a prequel to Pooh’s Adventures of Finding Nemo, isn’t it?
• 4:15 *sips* Every part except 5.
• 4:23 Patrick, you’re late.
• 4:29 They didn’t comment on the fish, but the scorpions?! Oh, how dumb this is.
• 4:59 There could be. This is Pooh’s Adventures, after all.
• 5:44 CHILD: Mommy! I know what a merekat is! MOM: *burns the tape* Someone’s going to get sued today…
• 5:48 Bad Disney pun much?
• 6:06 They’re not even in an appropriate order!
• 6:10 Garfield, you mean?

Pooh’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Poisonous Animals: Part 5. Two guests arrive - one relevant, one completely forced.

• 0:05 Henry might have been sarcastic, you know…
• 0:18 Misuse of “it’s”? Check.
• 0:23 And he’s clever enough not to be pestered by length-extending cartoon clips.
• 1:11 You have way too many friends for your own good, do you know that?
• 1:27 See what I meant earlier about Timon and Pumbaa?
• 1:38 Talk like an imported foreign film!
• 1:42 *notices the comma* Rabbit’s the narrator!
• 2:16 The bees, of course.
• 2:17 Stop making this thing longer!
• 2:29 Woah, getting into Henry’s show really didn’t do Fifi well.
• 2:47 Because this is a cartoon segment, don’t expect Tigger to make any comments.
• 3:30 WHAT?!
• 3:34 You’d be able to tell if you read the web address.
• 3:36 ORANGE: I’m Cartoon Network’s latest abomination!
• 3:41 And yet you didn’t know much of the characters you first met?
• 3:55 Blinky the ghost? How much more characters do we need to ruin this documentary?
• 3:58 Tennessee was right - Annoying Orange is the narrator.
• 4:04 You tell him, Henry. And tell that to the rest.
• 4:33 ORANGE: And their butts were the inspiration for my comedy! Nyahahahahahahaha!
• 5:04 At least you’re helping the poor narrator’s intelligence improve.
• 5:30 The orange would never think up a joke THAT bad!
• 6:20 And now Peach and Toad are characters in this video! Aargh!
• 6:36 And Peach is the narrator.
• 7:27 How is that even remotely a joke?
• 7:46 I dunno, Dwayne Johnson?
• 8:01 Wasn’t he on the moon?
• 8:44 Couldn’t you say “just like” instead of “that reminds me of”? It shortens down the subtitles.
• 9:36 And you didn’t do that any earlier?
• 9:46 1. *facepalm* The spelling… 2. Garfield, don’t you hate mice, and rats for that matter?
• 10:14 Notice the change in subtitle font?

Pooh’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Poisonous Animals: Part 3. Poor, poor Garfield…

• 0:05 And these toons couldn’t even accompany the cartoon sequence, which was a hell of a lot more entertaining than the edited parts of this video.
• 0:16 Translation: Bark bark bark. *panting*
• 0:39 Please say that to every crossed-over character in this video.
• 0:44 Excuse me, but didn’t Shy just tell everyone to let the narrator finish?
• 1:21 *bangs head on the desk* Yup! That’s education right there!
• 2:00 *sips* He’s not your cousin, Chumley.
• 2:16 “That means to blend one of your colors in with the background, or ano*cuts to next shot* This too?
• 3:03 Punctuation…
• 3:17 Shut up, cat who can’t even spell "hibernation” right.
• 3:33 He could’ve used that for every scene if he had to.
• 3:53 There’s so much dialogue to rip off!
• 4:50 The repetition here is even more blatant than before.

Pooh’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Poisonous Animals: Part 2. The “documentary” begins!

• 0:24 And that smart one is not the guy who thought this would be a good idea.
• 0:59 Just imagine if these people took on Life in a Day.
• 1:37 Oh. It’s everyone’s favourite porn star.
• 1:50 MOWGLI: I’m a gecko? Well, you’re a marmoset!
• 1:58 Wouldn’t “distant relative” be a smarter phrase?
• 2:12 Subliminal Woody. We even got to hear him speak.
• 2:21 He’s going to hypnotise the viewer to make more crappy crossover videos. And it’s going to be sexy.
• 2:29 Don’t boost it up a notch!
• 2:35 This musical number is distracting any interest provided by the nature footage.
• 3:04 Garfield’s the narrator? *angry face*
• 3:22 So, you’re assuming Kaa is real? What’s even going on here?!
• 3:26 Um, 1:52?
• 3:29 Yeah! Leave the gecko out of this! Henry the Man Cub does not deserve such cruelty!
• 3:41 Tigger’s right.
• 4:10 You said one of them was your cousin.
• 4:20 There are so many people getting educated by this that I’m actually feeling dumber.
• 4:41 *crickets chirp*
• 4:44 And now Spongebob’s the narrator? This is blowing my mind. Illegally.
• 4:59 It saddens me how stupid Garfield is in the eyes of YakkoWarnerMovies.
• 5:20 Not as long as the clips interrupting this video in total.
• 5:33 *sips*
• 5:39 Poky! Look the hell away!
• 6:09 And why isn’t there a gasping montage?
• 6:32 It’s that again…
• 6:36 Good thing someone survived the dumbing down of the gang.
• 7:02 Tennessee, did you not say that you know that snakes can be milked?
• 7:06 You don’t really shake your head when saying “yea”.
• 7:16 If we only had one side character, then everyone will actually learn something!
• 7:32 Pooh’s probably one of the only characters in this crossover that makes some form of sense.
• 8:19 Sigh.

For those of you who may not know, Amazing Animals was one of Dorling Kindersley’s many educational series, made into a TV show co-produced with the Disney Channel and starring a CG gecko named Henry. Among the documentary footage provided of wild animals, there were also 2D cartoon segments and a bunch of other animal characters. You heard me - Disney, CG gecko, 2D cartoon segments. And you know what that means - from the creator of the double feature of overblown terror, Pooh’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Poisonous Animals!

• 0:52 And there’s the dated Nickelodeon logo, put in there for the same reason as The Little Mermaid 2.
• 1:08 What frame rate!
• 1:26 So much companies, and you didn’t even take out the last ’s’.
• 1:51 Subliminal Pongo.
• 2:00 Isn’t it blatantly obvious why Yakko chose this?
• 2:15 I will admit this - this really should’ve been part of the Simba, Timon and Pumbaa’s Adventures series. Pooh doesn’t do crap about anything, anyway.
• 2:35 Even the VHS can’t take it.
• 3:22 I wanted to learn about nature, not this scene again!
• 3:47 And yet you’re supposed to be in a white background.
• 3:59 Hey, wait a minute. You forgot to introduce the play!
• 4:10 It’s the screencap I used on my first ever post to this blog!
• 4:35 *sobs*
• 5:13 At least the obvious is taking over bad editing.
• 5:47 That scene lasted about a minute and 12 seconds, and it’s going to return soon enough.
• 5:55 The Hundred Acre Wood. Where else do you think you are?
• 6:17 It really is Pooh’s Adventures of Ghostbusters all over again at this point.
• 7:13 Prepare for a lot of dumbing down.
• 7:21 If a kid watched this, would he be watching a modified comedy, or a documentary?
• 7:30 I’m sorry, but I’m not learning anything from this. I’m just distracted by the excessive reaction shots.
• 8:26 You can’t even spell “lizard” right.
• 8:28 Okay, everyone. Be prepared. The drinking game’s gone to this clip.