Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 6. Most of the comments on this video are someone’s own version of the story with far better English and vocabulary than any of the subtitles.

• 0:00 It could get worse - this guy could actually be clueless enough to take footage from a Let’s Play where people talk over it (without subtitles).
• 0:02 What was the point of that? What is the point of any of this?
• 0:20 You fools are all going to get pushed off of the edge.
• 0:40 Desperation…
• 1:18 Until you showed up, that is.
• 1:27 Weren’t the bats dangerous enough?
• 1:32 Next thing you know, Crash could stomp on Yoshi.
• 1:46 How can you say that when you’re going up a beanstalk?
• 2:17 That that quick of you.
• 2:26 At least Crash dying was cut out, otherwise this would be even more boring.
• 2:39 Shouldn’t you be dead?
• 3:04 Oh boy. They really are going to interrupt the bonus level.
• 3:12 It may be out of sync, but the idiots who like these videos don’t give a crap.
• 3:40 You had the chance to say that dozens of times before. And besides, they’re not apples!
• 3:54 Well, looking at that jump cut, Brock spoke too soon.

Winnie the Pooh meets Crash Bandicoot, part 5. The gang encounters the first boss. What the hell will they do to stop it? Well? What will they do?

• 0:01 In fact, it’s actually mute.
• 0:03 But where’s Fidget?
• 0:09 Forced montage of incomplete “what"s!
• 0:26 Red Ranger took all the credit, and the best you could do with the others is give one of them a background subtitle?
• 0:33 Ratigan and Fidget could do nothing but advise Pau Pau to look out. Worst supporting villains ever.
• 0:59 But what did he do besides watch?
• 1:00 Uh, Ratigan and Fidget aren’t one.
• 1:03 
• 1:07 (see 1:43, part 3)
• 1:10 Stop shooting a pile of snow and get involved.
• 1:16 Those douchebags killed Basil! The great mouse detective!
• 1:23 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 1:36 Eh, Ripper Roo being Meowth’s friend is more tolerable than being his cousin.
• 1:52 Overblown reaction montage.
• 1:57 If there’s one positive I had to say for this part, it’s that Reese didn’t forget this part.
• 2:19 No, Tigger. What are you doing here?
• 2:24 Hey, it’s Reese!
• 2:39 Crash has jumped on enough bombs to know what you think he doesn’t.
• 2:55 TRANSLATION: *knocks Ripper Roo unconscious*
• 3:12 (see 0:33)
• 3:51 Hasn’t Reese ever heard of a mentally insane person before? Oh wait, he already is one.
• 4:05 Seriously?

Winnie the Pooh meets Crash Bandicoot, part 4. Well, I might not have repeated “what’s the point”, but I do have to repeat “PEOPLE LIKE THIS”. Fuck you, Reese.

• 0:12 Jeez, it sure must be a bummer for these characters to wait once at a time just to bounce on those boxes.
• 0:20 Quick? There’s still more characters waiting their turn!
• 0:36 If this happened in the actual game, Crash would be dead by now.
• 0:52 We’re not seeing you do anything but talk, so I have dobut.
• 1:32 Another case of getting excited as if Crash didn’t do it before.
• 1:44 Shouldn’t they be concerned at all that Crash hurt himself and Aku Aku died?
• 2:08 Reese, you can do better than that. Add in a screOn second thought, don’t. Just don’t.
• 2:17 If there’s a lot of characters following Crash, wouldn’t they be squished at this point?
• 2:31 And yet you didn’t use “Run, run, we gotta run”?
• 2:51 I was expecting a sigh of relief but obviously the poor kid’s lazy.
• 3:06 Unless everyone except the game characters get eaten by piranhas on the way.
• 3:34 (see 1:32)
• 4:22 What is this now, a disneyJSman video?

Comments:

• “That rolling stone reminds of the boulder chase in Indiana Jones! Can you please add Indiana Jones Rolling Stone music to the level Boulder Dash and request some Goofy Hollers and some Wilhelm screams?”
• “*mass roleplaying*”

Winnie the Pooh meets Crash Bandicoot, part 3. “This film takes Place After Winnie the pooh and ronald mcdonald`s adventures of the Super Mario Bros (1993 Movie) wich Explains Pooh and friends met Mario Luigi and Yoshi Before and ash Ketchum meets the Thief and the Cobbler wich Explains Ash and his friends Faced Zig-Zag Before” Yes, these people like the Mario movie.

• 0:00 How should he know what level it is?
• 0:13 Good thing this clip actually got a caption this time.
• 0:19 Good thing also I made a character fat in a “what” montage in my upcoming parody, because now it makes sense.
• 0:36 AAGH!
• 0:39 Old pal? You’ve been in like a thousand videos together and you claim not to have seen him in a while?
• 0:43 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 0:47 It’s much better than Pooh’s Adventures.
• 1:02 You should know if they’ve ever been involved in your starring roles. That’s what YouTube Poop is all about.
• 1:06 “Well that there is pooh Piglet Tgger Rabbit Eeyore Ash Mis*cut off* PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 1:13 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 1:21 Filler. Just plain filler.
• 1:43 If Pooh’s only helping, should this be Super Mario Meets Crash Bandicoot?
• 1:46 SPOILER ALERT: They all live.
• 1:58 You dare silence the great Vincent Price? Twice?
• 2:06 Evil laugh montage.
• 2:21 ”[“
• 2:40 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 2:58 Is that the only clip of Tigger you could find? Jesus, I’m getting another flashback to The Magic Voyage.
• 3:05 It’s been a while since I last said "Desperation”.
• 3:29 Well, at least they didn’t interrupt the bonus level.

Winnie the Pooh meets Crash Bandicoot, part 2. *insert Wreck-It Ralph joke here*

• 0:00 Good thing we’re actually on a hot location at this point, but it’s not a bloody desert.
• 0:36 Something I’ve always wondered about this cliche - where’d the bath come from?
• 0:44 Skipper’s a towel, apparently.
• 0:53 Here, let me correct the grammar: “Ouch, that was some fall we had, Gay Luigi.”
• 1:04 And plenty of other times before, to be precise.
• 1:30 I’d like to imagine this is from a Power Ranger’s perspective. Still won’t keep that from being boring, though.
• 1:34 Both Yakko and Reese are so clueless about length that even the subtitles appear for longer than they should be.
• 1:41 What is the point?
• 1:52 See how no one happens to be interested enough to interrupt?
• 2:00 You could’ve said that when he first hit a crab.
• 2:16 [link]
• 2:25 So many villains here that they got in the way of Mario’s face.
• 2:29 What, weren’t any of the other villains concerning enough?
• 2:32 He was eating by crocodiles? So he won?
• 2:37 There is so little punctuation you wouldn’t know whether he’s asking a question or just copying.
• 3:02 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 3:24 Good thinking, Crash.
• 3:33 Crash destroyed a bridge of crates while a bunch of Power Rangers and cartoon characters were behind him. How the hell were they able to get over?

What’s the point of watching full level gameplay not for walkthrough purposes but for some kind of movie? What is even the point of making subtitled cartoon characters interrupt gameplay footage that isn’t even yours? Case in point, Pooh’s Adventures of Epic Mickey, Benny the Beast’s Adventures of Villains’ Revenge and even worse, Winnie the Pooh Goes to Hotel Mario. As it turns out, the kid who created the latter has also turned the entire first Crash Bandicoot game into a Pooh’s Adventure, and the critics are raving like the ever-accepting dickdrinkers they are. This’ll probably consist of me saying “What’s the point” over and over again, but anyhow let’s play “Try Not to Get Brain Damage Watching Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 1”.

• 0:51 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 1:01 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 1:35 Mickey’s House of Villains may have had a lot of villains from separate media in one film, but this is ridiculous.
• 2:11 Dat watermark. Makes you wish the guy who made this was intelligent to record his own games by camera or DVR, doesn’t it? Of course, if he were intelligent this video wouldn’t exist.
• 3:00 And this is exactly how fun the adventure’s going to be, folks.
• 3:40 What’s Bowser doing in a PlayStation game?
• 3:46 Wouldn’t King Koopa be a good enough alternative? Bowser has two captions at once.
• 3:49 Unless poor continuity saves the day.
• 4:16 So far, this sucks even as a YTP.
• 4:20 You know how sucky a video can be just from the utterly banal “you’re” confusion.
• 4:28 Prepare for an extreme lack of rhyming.

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Disney Villains’ Revenge, part 6. It all ends not-so-excitingly!

• 0:20 I don’t know about you, but this would make a pretty good stinger.
• 0:35 Even BL&J’s Adventures have “what” montages!
• 1:03 *gasping* Acting!
• 1:20 I admit that I snorted at that, even if it wasn’t supposed to be funny.
• 1:53 You drew the book? Why couldn’t you draw the potions?!
• 2:11 SPOILER: I used the exact same reaction shot in my upcoming parody video.
• 2:15 ♪Charisma.♫
• 2:25 What the feck kind of good will that do?
• 3:06 Two racist impersonations in a row!
• 3:32 You’re better off with subtitles, eh!
• 3:50 What are they even doing?!
• 4:35 What is this, education?
• 5:17 Pause and watch Leo disappear right before your very eyes!
• 5:20 You’re not making this battle any less boring!
• 6:49 That was incredibly simplistic. Then again…
• 8:10 That was hardly even lip-sync!
• 8:23 The furries screw up history once again.
• 8:53 Stop trying to be epic! It’s not working!
• 9:15 I’d have to watch more of these videos to get this.
• 9:19 For instance, why are there two animu goths behind him?
• 9:20 Through my speakers, that sounded like “sex offenders”. Through my headphones, it sounded like “sexual members”.
• 9:23 This is just the stupidest scene.
• 9:35 That sounds less like King Louie than the voice that’s supposed to sound like Rafiki!
• 9:44 Actually, they already were.
• 11:00 Benny, you egomaniac.
• 11:08 Actually, they haven’t improved one bit.
• 11:24 Slimer? The Ghostbusters? The fuck?
• 11:45 Anything but that. *chuckles*
• 12:07 Volume controls. Fix them.
• 12:35 Another reason why this montage makes me sad.
• 13:04 The adventure wasn’t that exciting. Get over it.
• 13:58 He’s a Disney villain too! Lock him up!
• 14:04 Spot the Photoshop laziness!

• Potential to give the others subtitles: 
• Racism: 
• Boredom: 
• Family tree awkwardness: 
• Video game stupidity: 

Overall: 4.4/5

0.12/10. This is one of the reasons I stopped drawing furries. It also goes to show how dumb crossover Adventure videos are when combined with gameplay. Doing such a thing like that, especially when it’s such a game as Disney’s Villains’ Revenge, leads to an incredibly boring experience with pacing slower than Google Chrome after the computer is turned on. And that montage of Disney animation and crossover bullshit doesn’t help either. I’ll try and see if I have the guts to riff more of Benny’s videos, although I’d riff his adventure on the Titanic if it wasn’t his own documentary. What do you think? Should I riff Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic? Should I?

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Disney Villains’ Revenge, part 5. This part revolves around that potion-making part of the game. This will be the most boring part yet.

• 0:11 Isn’t Gantu a Disney villain? What is he doing as a good guy? (Correction: He was. Later he was officially good. But they already pussied up two characters from El Arca, so there’s still reason for me to complain.)
• 1:00 I guess watching this hurts worse than being stuck in a thorn bush.
• 1:11 Can’t they just add voices so that we’re not watching a bizarre Let’s Play?
• 2:29 See what I mean?
• 3:49 And when Snow White wakes up will she be concerned that she’s been rescued by talking mutant cats and a couple of robots? No. This is Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures. Nobody gives a crud.
• 4:43 R2-D2 just thought up the instructions for a potion. *headdesk*
• 5:09 Huh, they obeyed my orders for once.
• 6:01 Just draw a lion onto the footage and this’ll all feel shorter!
• 6:52 Speak, damn you.
• 7:31 Finally, after all that slow pacing we finally get reaction shots.
• 7:37 Acting.
• 8:14 In the words of a certain crossover victim, oh bother.
• 9:16 You’re not a kitty cat, but you’re not someone who’d give birth to very pretty babies if you did score with the Prince either.

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Disney Villains’ Revenge, part 4. Here’s a part I remember the least - fighting Captain Hook. I’ll try to forget the lions that came by and ruined it.

• 0:13 And now I’m going to be making fun about another bad Lion King impression. Joy.
• 0:17 And that Timon voice is crappier than I remember.
• 1:12 Ladies and gentlemen, the only witty line in the entire video. As of now.
• 1:25 JOHNNY: Me? I’m just a still image! It would take a lot of work for me to replace Peter Pan that easily!
• 2:03 “Angrier”, not “more angry”. That’s just weak writing.
• 2:20 Johnny, just so that we know it’s you, the best you could do is shout “Hoo! Ha!”
• 2:44 And now, an excuse to throw in a nonensical fight scene!
• 2:47 That also fits. Kind of.
• 2:52 Wait. Hyenas? On a pirate ship?
• 3:19 Did that chihuahua just turn into a human? These videos keep getting weirder and weirder.
• 3:23 That’s not how a pirate would dress!
• 3:30 That’s, uh, not exactly how a pirate would dress!
• 4:21 And the fact that he keeps coming back up that quickly alarms no one?
• 5:48 …What the hell was he doing the whole time?
• 5:51 But how could we tell?
• 5:53 We barely saw any of them either! Analyse what you’re doing, eh!

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)