Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast : The Enchanted Christmas, part 6. This is too not terrible to make dozens of rants on!

• 0:34 Not so loud! You’re making this situation even worse!
• 1:09 The panther’s microphone, you mean?
• 2:18 Are they shouting at the same time, or is Benny just doing a crappy impersonation again?
• 4:54 >:(
• 5:21 Is that a child or a midget?
• 5:32 A child that looks like a human is the daughter of a couple of furries that have fur on their noses? Awkward…
• 5:52 Would’ve been even stupider if there was a three-headed dragon above them.

• Forced interaction: 
• Lack of trying: 
• Bad impersonations: 
• Microphone abuse: 
• Moon Power: 

Overall: 1.6/5

0.68/10. This was probably the best of the Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures I’ve seen, even if that doesn’t mean it is good. Hewy Lewis probably liked it, though. This, on the other hand, has its fair share of decent if flawed editing skills but tries too hard to be a really good video, mainly because the original wasn’t even very good anyway. Many of the “good” scenes are uninspired, as one scene clearly steals its idea from Toy Story, jokes are ruined no matter how unfunny, and the singing, oh jeez, the singing. As you could tell from the lack of decent riffing, it’s not only the best BL&J video on here but the best crossover I have riffed, even if it’s crap. But we’ve still got one more Christmas video to go - something that was requested months ago!

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast : The Enchanted Christmas, part 5. Compare - which prison scene has more effective emotional depth?

• 0:37 I hope Benny was just walking because of the horse being too slow. Because if he was supposed to be in the sleigh, that would be creepy.
• 3:06 Oh goody.
• 4:03 Obviously, the Disney characters take no notice of the furries because of their lack of decent contribution.
• 4:17 He bumped his head?
• 5:34 So? It would’ve happened without you anyway.
• 5:44 How could they not tell the difference?
• 6:10 The last time this was used, I couldn’t take it seriously.
• 7:46 Humbug.
• 11:27 Desperation.
• 12:41 Oh, we are in trouble alright. Beast’s going to sound dopey.
• 12:53 Wait, which beast is talking here? They both sound the blooming same.
• 12:57 Eh, I was touched more when the fairy sang.
• 13:12 Benny thought ripping off a situation already in the movie would make the video good. *shakes head*
• 14:57 See what I mean?

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast : The Enchanted Christmas, part 4. If there’s one positive thing, ONE, I have to say about Benny’s videos, it’s that they’re not the kind where the guest stars would stalk characters every time.

• 3:17 Just when Chip was celebrating.
• 3:58 Acting…
• 4:52 Nice try at fooling us, but clearly they’re listening to Lumiere.
• 5:12 Lip sync!
• 6:12 Tension!
• 8:32 Beast was filled with so much rage that he lost his voice and Benny had to help him speak again.
• 8:48 But which friend? There’s so damn many of them that it’s hard to tell.
• 11:46 “Thank goodness no one was hurr”

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast : The Enchanted Christmas, part 3. The video ID says “2Gay”.

• 3:05 AXE: AAAAIEEEEE! A LION! *chops the lion*
• 4:17 At least I didn’t have to listen to him in part 2.
• 4:28 Is it me, or has Leo lost weight?
• 5:14 For example, I wish these furries would leave Disney alone!
• 5:39 Woah. Belle doesn’t sound healthy.
• 6:15 Yesterday I found two subtitle mistakes, now I find a background mistake!
• 6:30 Your cue, TF2 fans.
• 8:57 Neither are you.
• 9:21 Repetiton and bad voice acting! How come they’re using bad voices yet subtitling Belle?

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast : The Enchanted Christmas, part 2. In which Benny exposes his Gary Stu-ness.

• 0:14 It’s Benny’s evil twin brother! He may have better animation, but he does sound the same!
• 1:04 The fact that he’s been crossed over with furries?
• 1:47 And yet he “pussied” up because this is all softcore porn.
• 4:47 There’s so many characters that they have to roll a dice and see who gets the line.
• 5:13 [link]
• 5:48 Not sure if clever or forced plot point.
• 6:34 Benny the Beast - expressing an extreme lack of humour sense since 2010!
• 7:53 *finally laughs*
• 8:47 Good Lord, this has the worst microphone handling I’ve ever heard in a Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventure.
• 9:53 *rolls eyes and groans*
• 10:13 Does she seriously not notice that there are lions in the room? Talking lions, no less?
• 10:29 Don’t lie, Benny. We know you’re trying to screw up history.
• 12:01 The good: despite being in the wrong location, that shot actually fits. The bad: Windows Movie Maker style frame goof.
• 12:20 Weird. Don’t remember this from my Disney Winter Wonderland DVD.
• 12:53 Oh, merde.
• 12:59 Please! The teenage lion girl is a better singer than you!
• 13:10 It’s so bad that some of the singers are off tone.
• 13:20 Sorry to anyone who turned their speakers up because the Disney footage was too quiet.
• 13:58 Ugh, stop this tone-deaf-ness!
• 14:26 Attempt to sing beautifully ruined by a tiny glitch.

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Christmas is coming closer than ever before, and what better way could there be to celebrate than watching a LionKingHeart Fantasy Films production? Well, parties, shopping, reruns of the Grinch cartoon…

Here, Benny and his furry friends dominate the second Beauty and the Beast midquel, and one that isn’t good, but not even as bland as Belle’s Magical World. I’m sure this won’t be like their adventure on the Titanic, but let’s dig into Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast : The Enchanted Christmas anyway.

• 2:02 Our first sign of true crappiness!
• 3:06 Our second sign.
• 3:26 *winks like Trainboy54*
• 4:17 I’m glad you did.
• 4:37 KOMODO GILLED!
• 4:46 Really, huh? The actual truth is on DVD.
• 5:04 Horrible times. Those were horrible times.
• 6:00 Jeez, put the damn microphone down.
• 6:07 DON’T do anything else.
• 6:49 *drops water down his eyes to look like tears*
• 7:39 Oh, I loathe this guy.
• 8:06 Doesn’t hurt as much as seeing you here.
• 8:24 Benny steals Belle’s line. Benny’s a giiiirrrrl! Benny’s a giiiirrrrl! *facepalm* What am I saying?
• 8:46 Good thing this guy has the ability to use effects over footage. Then again, so does 76859Thomas.
• 12:05 Fun ruined.
• 12:32 He gets the fart joke? Really? Well, this came from someone who adores El Arca, a movie about pigeons farting in a bird strip club, so I shouldn’t be too shocked.
• 12:53 It ain’t right to ask that early. Killjoy.
• 13:21 Out-of-sync snowball fight!

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic, part 5. Benny laments about his stupidity.

• 1:17 It was incredibly pointless anyway!
• 1:53 No. NO. NOPE. NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
• 2:21 No, Benny. WE’RE doomed.
• 2:28 We can already see who Rafiki’s really hitting - a cartoon wildebeest, and not a cartoon wannabeast.
• 4:39 Worst pause cut using an expensive movie maker EVER.
• 5:03 “Johnny look down the Grand Staircase and sees water rising up from below.” Why does this fanfic keep using both past and present tense?
• 5:15 Okay, that actually holds the record.
• 5:37 You seriously thought that would add some humour?
• 6:29 *cries* Please stop…
• 8:26 Eh, at least there’s no giant octopus.
• 9:24 A sword? MOON POWER? Oh, my hate for this is unbelievable.
• 9:43 Wait. What were the swords for again? To piss me off?
• 9:48 RABBIT: Ada– How can you think of [mermaids] at a time like this?
• 9:50 Yes, to piss me off, alright.
• 10:21 All of this led to Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of the Little Mermaid?! MOST OFFENSIVE STORY CONNECTION EVER.
• 10:35 I feel bad for everyone involved in the disaster, especially for having the mood lightened by furries.
• 12:28 TCastro? The guy who used to be my friend? How could you?!
• 13:30 You mean the guy who loved the Titanic so much he screwed it? In the ass, no less?

• Lack of jokes: 
• Lack of continuity: 
• Lack of accurate impersonations: 
• Lack of charisma: 
• Lack of taste: 

Overall: 6.8/5

-0.36/10. This is the worst Fantasy Films Adventure yet. It’s offensive, boring, idiotic and, looking at the ratings, highly overrated. And what’s more, the death of 1500 people is followed by The Little Mermaid. This is just as bad as the animated Titanic movies from Italy, and you can’t help but get horrifying flashbacks to In Search of the Titanic. Plus, why do people get fooled that easily in the videos by disguises, even when they’re worn by lions? This is especially insulting as it treats the Titanic crew like they’re stupid. It’s not educational, it’s fap worthy (Here’s looking at you, Kane Taker). And it’s trying to be serious, which provides no answer to the question, “Who is it aimed at?” Well, it’s not for children, but it surely ain’t for people with heart either. What a way to celebrate a centennial, eh?

Featured comment: “Wow! All the people who are involved in all 5 parts of the Titantic special are really amazing. Great voice acting, great effects and great music. I am a real life friend of KaneFan701 and I will rate Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titantic…5 Mickey Mouse icons out of 5.”

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic, part 4. Boy, I’m telling you, it’s a good thing this is only 49 minutes. 

• 0:45 BRUMA: …unless Kairel here gets any larger! Ha ha ha!
• 0:47 Disney characters, for instance.
• 1:30 And now, footage from The Legend Goes On. Is Benny a fan at all of the rapping dog?
• 2:07 A feature film that will only be featured on the interwebs, and get followed only by the very easily amused.
• 3:11 JOHNNY: And not even my fur coat and sweater do anything!
• 3:16 It’s probably taken revenge on you for bringing robots into a fairy tale.
• 3:31 Taste the power of Horizontal Flip!
• 4:46 Way to try and imitate James Horner.
• 5:03 We can already see that! Stop reading everything the story tells you!
• 6:03 That voice is just insulting, and that’s only part of it.
• 6:18 Stop acting!
• 7:55 And they all were too dumb to know that this happened. People are enjoying a video where the main characters are total idiots. People……ah, forget it.
• 8:43 History has been ruined - Thomas didn’t even know he was talking to lions.
• 8:59 And not even the Captain was as smart as we thought. Like I said, we’re all doomed.
• 9:56 I don’t think I mentioned before how bad J. Bruce Ismay’s microphone is.
• 10:39 One of them will be “MUTANT LIONS HIJACK SHIP”.

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic, part 3. It seems that this wasn’t the documentary I expected after all. Even so it’s better made, though more insulting, than the Amazing Animals adventures.

• 0:49 *bangs his head on the wall* People love this…
• 1:47 What, is Johnny the kind of lion that does have a private area?
• 2:05 [link]
• 2:13 She’s giving us so much pointless information that she’s stuttering in the process.
• 2:21 They’re playing squash. WE GET IT. WE KNOW WHAT THE HELL SQUASH IS.
• 2:35 Cammy D. Gold.
• 2:40 Anyone else thinking he’s getting close to sounding a little bit like Peter Griffin?
• 2:45 Really? Because I’m quite close to sleeping.
• 3:02 Still got it? Since when?
• 3:34 A-Acting!
• 4:20 Benny?
• 4:50 This narrator gives off way too much information. Why am I the only one out of the 21 people who’s actually bored?
• 5:49 Cue the yaois…

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic, part 2. 20 likes? Nothing else? Fixable. *dislikes it*

• 0:35 And being caged up is better than watching this.
• 0:50 Blend in well? How so? They’re covered in fur!
• 1:54 *rolls eyes* What’s so bad about this video is that unlike the animated Titanic movies, it pairs its own characters with real people.
• 2:35 I can tell that they’re spinning in their graves even faster.
• 3:16 There’s much worse news that that. A bunch of furries are pissing on a thousand graves.
• 3:24 Just as much as they can handle lions running around on the ship.
• 3:45 Notice how they’re not wearing those suits they earned in part 1. Stop being so lazy and draw some more, at least!
• 4:14 King Louie makes a cameo, and appears to have shaven.
• 4:45 See what I mean?
• 5:02 *sarcastic shrug*
• 5:12 Tut tut, now they’re trying to be edgy with their crossovers yet again. It didn’t work in Beauty and the Beast, and it sure as hell won’t work in a frickin’ Titanic story.
• 5:30 And he escaped to a painless landing.
• 5:45 But he was on the ground earlier ago!
• 5:55 Which he already did.
• 6:05 Out of all the passengers, they cadged him?
• 6:09 Ughhhhhhh, this is from The Legend Goes On, isn’t it? Now it’s not just HunterXColleen I’m disturbed by.

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Now, I will admit that when you read Benny’s channel description, he seems like a decent guy. He says he has a “big sense of humor” and a “big sense of generosity”. He also wrote a children’s book exclusively for Amazon.com and looks to find experience in becoming a professional animator. He also has a good taste in music, as he may not like country, but does enjoy classical.

That is, until you watch his videos. Because now, at the request of a single follower, I’m going to be riffing Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic.

• 1:49 Now, I’d like to remind you all that they’re not actually invading any of the Titanic movies. They’re basically travelling on the ship with the help of scenes from various movies and real life events. This doesn’t sound terrible, but it’s time-travelling furries on a ship where more than a thousand people died. Oh, brother.
• 1:56 The furries wrecked Disney World! We’re doomed already!
• 2:02 Trip to a theme park? Don’t they LIVE in a theme park?
• 2:48 I’d also like to remind you that this part has 28 likes and only a couple of dislikes. All for a racist baboon impersonation.
• 2:54 The end!
• 3:08 And of all the years you could pick, you had to offend us all. What next, getting a job in 2001?
• 3:19 Go back to the ark, why don’t you.
• 3:37 No wonder why he keeps making these videos.
• 4:04 So who’s going to be educated by this? Any suggestions?
• 4:18 No, it’s the Big Bang.
• 4:39 Just because Bugs Bunny could fool people when in drag, doesn’t mean that nobody will notice that you look like a lion!
• 4:41 Beige? What beige? It’s black and white!
• 4:44 Yet they seem to be taking it quite well.
• 4:54 And try not to scare the ticketmaster in the process!
• 5:38 And they call you a scientific genius?
• 5:47 TICKET MAN: LION! TALKING LION! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
• 6:18 And this got more respect than the Italian animated Titanic movies?
• 6:42 Looks like we have the only character who actually attended the second highest grossing movie ever made.
• 7:17 Jesus Christ, the captain from The Legend of the Titanic? Benny liked this movie too? Well, if he’s such a big fan of El Arca then I guess he’d enjoy just about anything.
• 7:44 I’d have to give this video some credit - they finally chose a plot point where the people actually take notice that Benny and the gang ain’t human.
• 7:50 And yet they actually turned into humans. Especially Rafiki, who turned into a dog.
• 8:41 This we didn’t see in the movies. But will we actually learn anything from an El Arca fanboy?
• 8:56 Already we’re getting cluelessness from someone who thinks he’s feeling sorry for them when we’re really supposed to jizz at this.
• 9:23 Among those currently rolling their graves…
• 9:29 Implying that they actually are rich.

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Disney Villains’ Revenge, part 6. It all ends not-so-excitingly!

• 0:20 I don’t know about you, but this would make a pretty good stinger.
• 0:35 Even BL&J’s Adventures have “what” montages!
• 1:03 *gasping* Acting!
• 1:20 I admit that I snorted at that, even if it wasn’t supposed to be funny.
• 1:53 You drew the book? Why couldn’t you draw the potions?!
• 2:11 SPOILER: I used the exact same reaction shot in my upcoming parody video.
• 2:15 ♪Charisma.♫
• 2:25 What the feck kind of good will that do?
• 3:06 Two racist impersonations in a row!
• 3:32 You’re better off with subtitles, eh!
• 3:50 What are they even doing?!
• 4:35 What is this, education?
• 5:17 Pause and watch Leo disappear right before your very eyes!
• 5:20 You’re not making this battle any less boring!
• 6:49 That was incredibly simplistic. Then again…
• 8:10 That was hardly even lip-sync!
• 8:23 The furries screw up history once again.
• 8:53 Stop trying to be epic! It’s not working!
• 9:15 I’d have to watch more of these videos to get this.
• 9:19 For instance, why are there two animu goths behind him?
• 9:20 Through my speakers, that sounded like “sex offenders”. Through my headphones, it sounded like “sexual members”.
• 9:23 This is just the stupidest scene.
• 9:35 That sounds less like King Louie than the voice that’s supposed to sound like Rafiki!
• 9:44 Actually, they already were.
• 11:00 Benny, you egomaniac.
• 11:08 Actually, they haven’t improved one bit.
• 11:24 Slimer? The Ghostbusters? The fuck?
• 11:45 Anything but that. *chuckles*
• 12:07 Volume controls. Fix them.
• 12:35 Another reason why this montage makes me sad.
• 13:04 The adventure wasn’t that exciting. Get over it.
• 13:58 He’s a Disney villain too! Lock him up!
• 14:04 Spot the Photoshop laziness!

• Potential to give the others subtitles: 
• Racism: 
• Boredom: 
• Family tree awkwardness: 
• Video game stupidity: 

Overall: 4.4/5

0.12/10. This is one of the reasons I stopped drawing furries. It also goes to show how dumb crossover Adventure videos are when combined with gameplay. Doing such a thing like that, especially when it’s such a game as Disney’s Villains’ Revenge, leads to an incredibly boring experience with pacing slower than Google Chrome after the computer is turned on. And that montage of Disney animation and crossover bullshit doesn’t help either. I’ll try and see if I have the guts to riff more of Benny’s videos, although I’d riff his adventure on the Titanic if it wasn’t his own documentary. What do you think? Should I riff Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic? Should I?

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Disney Villains’ Revenge, part 5. This part revolves around that potion-making part of the game. This will be the most boring part yet.

• 0:11 Isn’t Gantu a Disney villain? What is he doing as a good guy? (Correction: He was. Later he was officially good. But they already pussied up two characters from El Arca, so there’s still reason for me to complain.)
• 1:00 I guess watching this hurts worse than being stuck in a thorn bush.
• 1:11 Can’t they just add voices so that we’re not watching a bizarre Let’s Play?
• 2:29 See what I mean?
• 3:49 And when Snow White wakes up will she be concerned that she’s been rescued by talking mutant cats and a couple of robots? No. This is Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures. Nobody gives a crud.
• 4:43 R2-D2 just thought up the instructions for a potion. *headdesk*
• 5:09 Huh, they obeyed my orders for once.
• 6:01 Just draw a lion onto the footage and this’ll all feel shorter!
• 6:52 Speak, damn you.
• 7:31 Finally, after all that slow pacing we finally get reaction shots.
• 7:37 Acting.
• 8:14 In the words of a certain crossover victim, oh bother.
• 9:16 You’re not a kitty cat, but you’re not someone who’d give birth to very pretty babies if you did score with the Prince either.

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)