Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Pooh’s Adventures of Lego STAR WARS: The Complete Saga, part 2. Three and a half minutes and already its point is questionable.

• 0:01 And a badly drawn one, too.
• 0:04 One of the most forced excuses for an introduction scene ever.
• 3:54 I skipped ahead to save time. That scene was 3 minutes and 46 seconds! Doesn’t Yakko care? Doesn’t Reese care? Doesn’t anybody care?!
• 4:01 Whoops, there it is again. On the self insert, no less. *chuckles*
• 4:13 You only just got here.
• 4:19 [link]
• 4:23 The fact that Cheeseasaurus Rex is a still image just begs for a reason for being here.
• 4:26 Hold on. She’s actually wondering what a name means?!
• 4:33 You have got to be fucPEOPLE LIKE THIS!!!
• 8:25 It would be easier to say “Can I come with you, question mark”.
• 8:32 [link]
• 9:25 Damn stupid overlaying stock footage!
• 9:34 Worst game ever.
• 9:42 We do not need to see any of this. Get to the point! Even if you already created two four-minute introduction scenes!
• 9:59 He didn’t even face the door and already there’s clip of Pooh and his friends going nowhere.
• 11:14 You game-jumped, that’s what.
• 11:21 I’m expecting there to be so many fourth wall destructions it makes Class of Nuke'Em High Part III look hilarious.
• 11:23 I’m also expecting more plotholes than the mention of “Sleeping Lioness”.
• 11:31 He saw the movie. [link]
• 11:38 “Really?” Haven’t these guys been through all Star Wars movies and even mentioned their names?
• 11:41 Spoiler alert.

Pooh’s Adventures of Mr. Meaty: Moochmaster P., part 3. “Note: I hope it’s good.” Screw you, it ain’t.

• 0:23 Stop saying “mooch”, god damn it! You never belonged to this universe in the first place!
• 1:01 I agree, Numbuh 5. I agree.
• 1:13 So what’s the point of these obvious captions?
• 1:40 Yes, please do something other than comment on the obvious.
• 2:04 [link]
• 2:40 [link]
• 2:53 [link]
• 3:02 Poky Little Puppy does not belong in a god damn gross-out show.
• 3:39 Too bad, because he’s going to eat it before you even catch him, you pointless bastards.
• 3:55 Like always.
• 4:06 Why does Pops have to say that? He doesn’t think that straight.
• 5:51 Not as weird as the fact that Godzilla’s in a fast food restaurant.
• 6:37 How should any of these people know what to do yet?
• 7:37 Unless they’re happy because Parker can’t “mooch”, these facial expressions do not make any sense.
• 7:40 [link]
• 7:44 [link]
• 7:58 Really, couldn’t Yakko find a better shot without nose-picking?
• 8:57 I really like Numbuh 5.
• 9:45 None of these characters belong in a god damn gross-out show.
• 10:40 I assume he doesn’t know what LEGO even is.
• 10:46 There are much better reaction shots for Sandy than the fish head!
• 10:49 Phew, at least this means less useless guest stars.
• 10:59 Pooh’s going to go through the most popular sci-fi saga of all time re-enacted with toys, and these guys are taking it seriously.
• 11:03 Aw, crap.

• Nose-picking: 
• Unfitting: 
• “Duh” moments: 
• Nose-picking: 
• Nose-picking: 

Overall: 5/5

0/10. And now we move onto a potentially worse adventure. How big a glitch will Pooh Bear and his millions of friends be to all six episodes of the world of the Lego video games? Find out in Pooh’s Adventures of Lego STAR WARS: The Complete Saga, part 1.

• 11:07 KERMIT: It is time for the moment we all been waiting for!  STADLER: Your retirement?
• 11:28 Good lord, they even tackled a cereal icon.
• 11:29 Oh, bother. An extended intro.
• 11:34 Learning what? A lesson on how not to do crossovers?
• 12:11 What a stupid song extension.
• 12:15 Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
• 12:26 The Noid? And I thought Foodfight was bad.
• 12:48 Did Yakko happen to watch my video and notice the presence of the M&M’s?
• 14:17 Oh God, again with the watermarks. Also, if this is supposed to be the actual Complete Saga game, then what’s with the Lego Star Wars 1 intro at the very beginning?
• 14:33 Who knew Xbox LIVE could be so dangerous.
• 14:38 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.

Pooh’s Adventures of Mr. Meaty: Moochmaster P., part 2. As I breathe a sigh of relief after months of working on the Adventures video to end all Adventures videos, I can get back to riffing proof that not even that video helps.

• 0:18 That’s right, Piglet. Horror.
• 0:19 You bunch of illogical wimps.
• 0:22 The consequences of a 10 year old KND member making out with an over-13?
• 0:36 Turns out even puppets are capable of making bad crossovers by themselves.
• 0:54 This is going to result in some extremely poor cinematography.
• 0:59 Because webcams make even worse horror films than those shot on handheld.
• 1:14 Because Reese can’t provide any more footage to save his life.
• 1:23 Aaagh! There’s nothing scarier than cartoon clips that aren’t meant to be there.
• 2:13 *muffled* Acting.
• 2:28 Stop making what isn’t even that funny boring.
• 3:37 [link]
• 4:00 Speaking of food, why is her head a fish?
• 4:03 Mwa mwa mwaaaaah.
• 4:23 Reese commented on my parody by defending his “girlfriend”. Hell, I draw a fictional me with an original, fictional girlfriend and yet I know the meaning of virginity.
• 4:26 Why would Numbuh 5 want to go out with anyone over the age of 13, or anyone who keeps picking their nose in public?
• 4:30 Again, GODZILLA IN A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT.
• 4:52 CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG IN A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT.
• 5:16 So apparently that burger triggers an ice cream flood when eaten.
• 5:44 How is he supposed to already know what “mooch” means?
• 5:49 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 6:06 Kinda forgot they were there. Laziness ahoy.
• 6:59 [link]
• 7:08 [link]
• 7:12 Says the guy picking his nose on camera.

Told you that dancing raccoon toy would get the part.

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 11. It’s over. It’s finally over.

• 0:00 Exactly what I said when I found out Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures had gone this far.
• 0:32 THOMAS: Like we do every day!
• 3:40 Did this guy even bother to analyse his work?
• 3:48 Toy Story music?! [link]
• 5:59 Expect Thomas and Twilight reacting dog sex, man asses and robot farts!
• 6:17 You mean the movie that won Rihanna a Razzie and caused G.I. Joe 2 to move to what is now two weeks time?
• 6:44 That bastard who ruined Tex Avery.
• 6:53 [link]

• Uncharacteristic intelligence: 
• Incomplete censorship: 
• The sight of a talking cartoon pony being less amazing than a giant robot: 
• Trainfaggotry: 
• Stupidity: 

Overall: 8.8/5

-0.76/10. See? You’ve already known exactly how far any kind of Pooh’s Adventure can go, and we finally got lengthy video proof. The guest stars interrupt too many times for their own good, the reasons how a dozen trains can fit in a helicopter and actually help the movie characters go unexplained, the dialogue tries to be awesome but ends up uninspired, the Cutie Mark Crusaders and supporting trains dominate the importance of the two title characters, and the creator needs to take a chill pill. But it gets worse, as soon we might find out where that screenshot of Roo came from.

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 10. This guy must be so excited over what he’s done. Too excited…

• 0:08 (see 12:42, part 9)
• 1:14 Except it’ really quite easy for trains to die in this kind of situation. Especially when they’re not really doing anything. And there’s guns involved.
• 1:31 Pirates of the Carribean music? It may be closer to Transformers music than the last two songs, but did you know that the Transformers movies have their own soundtrack albums?
• 2:04 How?
• 2:25 At plenty of 26 second marks, there has to be an overlong Twilight minigun scene that provides no use whatsoever.
• 2:33 “Go James! *cut off* Is this guy even aware?
• 2:51 Told you rolling nowhere would be useless.
• 3:11 What the hell did he do other than just roll along?
• 3:54 Wouldn’t the trains be crashing through or into those obstacles?
• 4:54 What’s with the elephant?
• 5:08 Nothing!
• 5:17 The trains have flesh?
• 6:00 So how did the trains get up there?!
• 6:29 "Sir Han*cut off*
• 6:46 You mean he didn’t explode?
• 6:59 How did he grab the trains in one hand?
• 7:38 Not exactly funny.
• 8:05 [link]
• 10:08 That was more like Steele’s defeat than the last time.
• 10:55 THOMAS: Taste the power of our wheels as they don’t run over you, Megatron!
• 11:27 Finally, he actually used this shot.
• 11:53 It’s not going to help destroy them, or keep this video’s pace going!
• 12:41 "What didn’t ya say so!” No matter how hard he tries…
• 13:00 What are they doing, using the force?
• 13:31 Megatron’s dead and you’re sad about it?
• 13:41 All because the fillies are the smartest, apparently.
• 13:48 Exactly what should’ve been asked the whole way through.
• 14:13 You didn’t do anything at all.

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 9. The featured snapshot leaves me with a pretty bad feeling…

• 2:31 These trains would be dead at this rate! And if they didn’t explode, they sure as hell wouldn’t be able to get back on their wheels!
• 4:47 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 6:26 I doubt even that would do anything. But at least it serves as another reminded that this would be better without trains.
• 6:55 We get it.
• 7:52 So what good is a screaming montage going to do? Contribute!
• 8:53 
• 9:36 (see 6:26)
• 9:48 Oh dear, it’s The Little Engine That Could all over again. Curse you, Tony Goldwing!
• 10:03 But at least this scene won’t last up to half a bloody hour.
• 10:22 This only brings more confusion to how they travel off the rails.
• 10:44 Okay, this may not be The Little Engine that could, but damn, is the pacing slow. And it has an editing mistake.
• 11:07 And it’s not even your fault for being there!
• 12:42 We get it. Fillies and trains running simultaneously and squeaking when it’s nearly impossible for them to live at this rate.
• 13:34 Wallace and Gromit music? Why?
• 14:09 Not subtle at all.
• 14:28 (see 12:42)

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 8. These guest stars have a higher chance of dying than any of the humans involved.

• 1:47 Rainbow Dash’s presence isn’t going to make anything better.
• 1:58 It took four seconds to say “She’s over there”, and a few milliseconds for Shining Armor to introduce himself.
• 2:13 
• 2:16 [link]
• 4:52 Or better yet…
• 5:05 Purish?
• 6:38 [link]
• 7:07 This coming out of the mouths of children.
• 7:31 Why am I taking that out of context? I mean, Twilight is supposed to be Thomas’ girlfriend, after all…
• 7:58 Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures in two seconds.
• 8:10 At least the trains drive themselves, or this would be just as ridiculous.
• 9:24 I was expecting a more logical flatbed!
• 9:55 Background music? That’s also new, except that it’s far from Transformers.
• 12:07 No matter how hard you try to make the dialogue good, it breaks whatever’s supposed to be silence.
• 14:19 This music is just wrong.

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 7.

• 0:15 You mean to say that a train is riding on Optimus Prime?
• 0:55 Thomas was too heavy, anyway.
• 1:19 Close? The Cutie Mark Crusaders fell to their death!
• 3:16 The trains can take themselves.
• 3:44 No, that’s the guest stars’ job.
• 8:09 Wait. Trains? In a helicopter?!
• 11:09 Unless one of the trains accidentally runs them over, that is.
• 13:27 Why does the child have to say this?
• 13:37 *rolls eyes*
• 14:22 Speaking of smaller…
• 14:30 *canned groaning*

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 6.

• 0:37 And her best is nothing at all.
• 1:31 Hey, who’s Shia LaBeouf here?
• 2:34 Because neither of these characters provided any use whatsoever.
• 3:07 How is everypony going to hide and make the whole room look convincing?
• 3:59 
• 5:11 That kind of makes sense to a robot that can transform into a car.
• 5:42 She’s acting regular over a bloody unicorn.
• 6:17 By just watching and commenting.
• 7:14 There’s a bunch of cartoon horses in the house, and no one, I mean no one is at all concerned.
• 7:26 And a dragon! A DRAGON!
• 8:07 Well, that explains a lot.
• 8:10 I heard “shit” and “masturbate” uncensored in this video. What the hell is the use of any more censorship?
• 9:19 No laughing shots?
• 9:40 I heard a ‘p’.
• 10:05 How a- You know what? Forget it. Fucking forget it.
• 11:03 But how were they supposed to fit in a car with room for five people?
• 11:26 THOMAS: We’re gonna run you the heck over.
• 11:30 These people just treated a bunch of rainbow ponies like average citizens and yet they’re speechless when they meet a robot.
• 12:25 Just the way I would say it!
• 12:47 Flawed grammar? Check.
• 12:55 THOMAS: For starters, why weren’t you as concerned to see talking ponies as you were to see us?
• 13:21 *“calvary”