Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 5. A G3 pony makes a cameo…

• 2:09 …and none of those ponies were there to make a joke about this.
• 3:18 Fluttershy should not know what any of those things are! Do I have to keep saying this?!
• 3:37 [link]
• 4:43 And where did you learn to think like that?
• 5:32 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
• 5:37 -oh.
• 5:58 Okay, that is just plain lazy.
• 6:06 “Opt*cut off* Celestia almighty…
• 6:25 It’s a Pooh’s Adventure. Why wouldn’t he?
• 6:51 That’s something you don’t get very often in this kind of video. But then again, why am I saying positives about something not made using Movie Maker when Benny the Beast made a video about Titanic?
• 9:15 Gasping montage.
• 13:05 Speaking so much isn’t going to cover up the fact that there’s giant robots outside, even if it’s just subtitles.
• 13:13 *insert gasping train montage here*
• 13:36 He’ll never listen to these guys, especially since the subtitles are outside the box.
• 14:23 Pee joke + Thomas the Tank Engine = Like the Scooby-Doo movie wasn’t bad enough.
• 14:36 Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of The Little Mermaid in a nutshell.
• 14:47 I think I know where that is going…

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 4. This is where it gets messy. Really messy.

• 3:35 Sam Witwicky would probably be crushed by now.
• 3:48 Why don’t the ponies have any travelling shots? Two of the ponies have wings (three if you ignore the upload date).
• 3:53 I will admit that the subtitle font contrast is new.
• 4:02 Too soon, Pinkie. She could’ve reacted by covering her eyes, but no.
• 4:15 She could’ve said it then!
• 4:24 This is what it feels like to have a vehicle as your partner. *glares at the trains*
• 4:37 There are no garages, or cars for that matter, in Equestria. How would even Princess Cadance know?
• 5:18 “On my with my friends mother’s bike” Huh?
• 5:41 You can say that again, talking train off of rails.
• 6:01 *looks at the Like box* PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 6:03 How should they know what a robot is?
• 6:19 That censorship can’t make up for all the guns that were involved.
• 6:23 [link]
• 7:36 So don’t just stand there!
• 7:47 No you haven’t.
• 7:59 Trains can’t step. Wait, are the trains in the car?
• 9:26 I’ve got to hand it to this video - the subtitles use accents, which is also new.
• 10:01 By “crazy” I assume she means that a bunch of talking trains and rainbow ponies are following Shia LaBeouf and nobody seems to care.
• 10:40 Wait, they’re actually contributing now?
• 10:43 Well, that was better than Lucario’s attack on Steele, although that whole video is better than this.
• 11:27 Of course you would know. The creator doesn’t know how curious these trains really would be.
• 11:51 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 11:57 You can say that again.
• 12:07 First of all, obvious line replacement. Second of all, how would they know that?
• 13:06 I repeat, are a bunch of trains actually in the car?
• 13:57 RARITY: …what are we all doing here anyway?
• 14:04 Rarity should know; the ponies have spoken to many Hubsters before.
• 14:12 God damn it. They were all in the fucking car.

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 3. There are ponies and trains in a movie with violence, death and mild swearing. God almighty, why.

• 4:34 That’s why I’d hate it a little less if it was just the ponies - where the hell is Thomas supposed to be sleeping? And why has his accent changed?
• 5:02 Those trains would probably have destroyed the car sooner or later.
• 6:09 How is a train like him, and also a filly, supposed to know what a tractor beam is?
• 6:30 Neither do I.
• 8:37 Which the creator of this video probably used in order to make it.
• 9:09 Yes, creator. Are you?

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 2. The fun doesn’t begin until…

• 6:31 Oh boy. Now this has gotten even worse than Revenge of the Fallen.
• 6:47 This is supposed to be a big budget, PG-13 actioner!
• 6:51 Another case of camcording when you already have perfect clips.
• 7:06 Oh bother.
• 7:50 The more trains, the worse. And now it’s gotten even more ridiculous.
• 8:06 Shouldn’t he be convinced at all that he’s talking to a bunch of trains and cartoon horses?
• 8:15 How should a train like him know what a radio is? (correct me if wrong)
• 11:06 Shut up, talking engine.
• 11:27 Indeed so. In fact, they don’t even need rails.
• 11:36 MEGAN FOX: HOLY SHIT TALKING TRAINS

Today, Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures is going to take on a whole new low. Everyone’s least favourite gang of trains and magical horses are going to the real world to take on a film that’s produced by Steven Spielberg, a common trend, but also directed by an egomaniac who has been compared to Hitler by the co-star of his own movie. It’s a war of man vs. machine, explosions surrounding every battle, and this leads us to question how exactly our new heroes will co-operate. Brace yourselves, followers, as we are going to have to sit through part 1 onwards of Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 8. Lucario only appears in the credits, which has a Miley Cyrus song, so the only comment I can give is…

• 2:17 GIRL: Granny, are Lucarios extinct?

• Crossover madness: 
• Lucario’s stupidity: 
• Lucario’s uselessness: 
• Grating typos: 
• Obviousness: 

Overall: 2/5

0.6/10. Pretty much the tamest and most simple crossover I’ve reviewed in a while. It’s bad, sure, but at least there’s some reaction shots that fit well, a little concern over the fact that Lucario is not like the others, and a single guest star as a breath of fresh air from the crossover overloads. Unfortunately, I’ve going to have to deal with what only fits in the sense that one comes from another company and another is a talking machine, but is just plain ridiculous.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 7.

• 0:50 What? Lucario’s still there, when he could’ve leaped his way down like he usually does?
• 3:20 You could’ve heard it if you actually saw it, you dumbass.
• 3:48 The #1 most fitting reaction shot in the entire video.
• 4:58 Good thing the guy who made this video knows when to keep his characters relatively quiet.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 6.

• 0:06 Does it even look like Lucario?
• 2:00 This guy could’ve kicked Steele’s ass when he had the change, but no. This is one of those videos.
• 2:26 That doesn’t help at all.
• 3:13 *drinks to the shot of Lucario running away*
• 6:35 I’ve got to hand it to this video - at least it takes awareness of how unusual the guest star looks in the subject universe.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 5.

• 2:03 Another actual guest star? Ho boy…
• 2:37 You call that saving him?
• 3:12 [link]
• 4:38 You’re a Lucario! You should know!
• 5:33 “There okay!!” Ugh…
• 7:38 It could be worse.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 4. This is the smallest commentary I’ve done in years. The fewer the better…

• 5:39 Lucario’s supposed to be a badass, not a dopey/aggressive animated sidekick.
• 6:40 You said you would help, didn’t you?
• 7:58 Subtitles?

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 3. The film is loosely based on a true story. The true story did not have talking birds or polar bears, but it sure as hell didn’t have any blue, two-legged jackals.

• 7:24 Lucario is just working with Boris, and ruined a joke. That just makes him even more useless.
• 7:31 Where did that rock come from anyway?
• 8:54 That coming from a Pokémon.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 2. Wait, where’s Lucario?

• 1:26 There’s Lucario. How did he get all the way to 1925?
• 1:40 And Lucario doesn’t have company. Dull, but a relief.
• 2:12 Lucario, what are you sighing about? You’re not the one with a crush on a red husky.
• 3:31 Why do I feel that Lucario is going to be more developed that Pooh Bear ever was in his adventures?
• 4:20 This video’s stench?
• 5:08 Well, of course it didn’t. Your voice is too whispery.
• 5:32 What an awkward use of a sound effect.
• 6:25 Ash cameo. So he isn’t alone after all.
• 7:33 Forget what I said earlier, Lucario basically copies Boris.

Balto finally came to Netflix UK, and while it is a little over the top, it still provides a decent amount of entertainment value. In sumnation, I will finally choose to riff an old submission from Joseph Martinez that invovles Balto, and Pokémon. No, it’s not Ash Ketchum, who already has plans on screwing it up, but one single Pokémon. Get ready to sit through one of the only surviving Pooh’s Adventure videos currently on Vimeo, Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 1.

• 0:04 Our first true sign of badness - a lazy recolour.
• 0:28 Hmm, no theme song. There’s a departure.

If Pooh’s Adventures did air on TV, then oh boy, the ratings…