Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Pooh’s Adventures of Kirby 64 the Crystal Shards, part 3. It ends here, apparently.

• 1:13 It could take you a second to say that, but in this video it takes four.
• 2:20 Makes perfect sense.
• 2:23 Makes little sense.
• 2:30 Makes tinier sense.
• 2:35 Makes no sense.
• 3:48 A better thing to say would be “Traitor”.
• 3:56 *insert big no here*
• 5:26 Bye to you too, Kirby. The whole thing’s been postponed despite this part not being a fight agaisnt angry reviewers.

What rating should I give this? Well, I don’t think I can rate it at all, since only three parts of it were completed, but all I can say is that it doesn’t know logic or the meaning of silence. That’s all I can say about it, because next we’ve got Reese taking on a racist bunny and Yakko the Wakko making a Pooh’s Adventures out of LEGO Star Wars. No, not the TV specials.

Pooh’s Adventures of Kirby 64 the Crystal Shards, part 2. I just hope at least one of these guest stars turns into Kirby’s special ability.

• 1:54 Not even CD-i Mario makes as much sense here as he should.
• 1:56 CGI Buster. Because they just don’t care.
• 2:05 No, what are you doing? Here?
• 2:11 No screaming montage?
• 2:48 Shouldn’t they be fascinated at all that a Waddle Dee has proven to be innocent after being Kirby’s enemy for so many years?
• 3:27 Gah, just when I thought the gameplay would go uninterrupted we get an illogical self insert. And I do mean illogical.
• 3:35 In case you don’t know who this guy is, click here. Or better yet, here.
• 3:47 GET BACK TO THE G-
• 3:50 Woah. I didn’t have to suffer through an overly long introduction scene? Awkward and stupid, yet relieving.
• 3:52 Oh. It’s just an editing goof-up. But still, thanks for not wasting too much time! People like this, though.
• 5:05 How are all of them supposed to cross this?
• 5:38 And how is that dancing kid supposed to fall down here without killing himself? The rest of these people are toons and puppets!
• 6:24 *drinks, not to the Tigger footage but the second “You know”*
• 6:27 And here’s where Reese fails to do the research. Adeleine is not a boy.
• 6:45 Still no screaming montage, just a short exclamation.
• 8:10 “You know who else doesn’t care about any of the mistakes in this video? My Mom!” - Reese

As it’s been months since Reese stopped making Batman Forever even worse, I might as well rank it now.

• Nose picking: 
• Reviewaboo-ness: 
• Lack of interest over the fact that a bunch of toons are in the real world: 
• Reese’s importance over anyone else, even Batman and Pooh Bear: 
• Engrish: 

Overall: 6/5

-0.2/10. Well, I’ve seen Littlefoot take on Epic Mickey (although that’s gone forever due to WTFBoredomReactors’ account no longer being available), furries raping my childhood, and Pooh Bear himself providing nothing but interruptions while people are trying to play Hotel Mario and Crash Bandicoot. The creator of the last two has left behind what he could complete on another video of his, and it’s a game where nobody should talk. Yep, since he Pooh’d up the anime, it’s a Kirby game. Now let’s try to play Pooh’s Adventures of Kirby 64 the Crystal Shards, part 1.

• 0:58 My face right now.
• 1:05 People like this…
• 3:16 Good thing this gameplay doesn’t have watermarks. Yet.
• 3:20 Well, that escalated far too quickly.
• 3:29 The only character that makes perfect sense to be in a Kirby game. Because she is from Kirby. This ain’t Smash Bros…
• 4:19 If you can fight fire with fire, then you can break silence with silence.
• 4:25 Your English sure has gotten worse since then.

Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 14. The end! Or not, since the sequel hooks are so blatantly overstated.

• 0:16 You were begging for it, of course.
• 0:28 You absolute wimps.
• 0:55 Imagine how it must feel to say that. Wouldn’t “Thanks for your help, everyone” be enough?
• 1:17 And to make it even more boring, the credits are silent.
• 1:18 I just hope there’s no sequel.
• 1:28 But due to the bastards at Fox, it had to be the second weakest Batman film ever made.
• 1:37 Do I look like I enjoyed this?
• 1:53 That’s not how you begin a bonus ending.
• 2:17 I still don’t know what the hell’s going to happen next in this Batman thing, neither should I care. I’m glad Reese gave up when he made a part that contained neither Batman or Pooh Bear, but him facing off against internet reviewers.
• 2:26 Subliminal Angry German Kid?

• Shits not given when Aku Aku dies: 
• Desperation: 
• Evidence of no English classes: 
• Laziness: 
• Pointlessness: 

Overall: 11/5

-1.2/10. Not only are game-based Pooh’s Adventures videos the most pointless of all, they have some of the most questionable logic since any video involving trains. How would anyone following Crash be able to hop on all those platforms without failing to catch up, or even worse, dying? What’s also unbelievable is how so much praise could be given to a video where even the character names are misspelt, characters barely make any appearance and villains give up just so they can be in the next adventure. What sort of entertainment value is provided from these videos? What? Besides, it seems that Reese also took on Kirby 64 recently. PEOPLE LIKE THIS.

Proof that people like this:

• “Nice ending.”
• “Will you please do the The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh intro style for the rest of the Crash Bandicoot trilogy and download some Goofy Hollers and Wilhelm screams and put them into the rest of the films?
• "This is the best thing evur!”
• “This is the best thing evur!”
• “that was the best thing ive seen in my entigre lyfe plz do 1 with homstock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
• “This is the best thing evur!”

The first two bullet points are not sarcasm.

Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 13. Reese also made Pooh’s Adventures of Donkey Kong Country. Be thankful that’s just the TV show.

• 0:30 This is Pooh’s Adventures. POOH’S Adventures.
• 0:40 Actually, isn’t Buddy Bear standing right in front of you?
• 1:01 Pooh stopped sitting on his fuzzy ass and actually defeated a villain. At last.
• 1:14 We got to see a new reaction shot for Pooh Bear, and yet Tigger still remains the same. Thankfully, this part was made in July…
• 2:16 Finally.
• 3:51 With some emphasis on “Fimiliar”.
• 4:23 Except the only action we’ll be able to see is Crash attacking Cortex, and a fan trying to hump the computer screen has hard as he can.
• 4:37 The beginnings of exciting action scenes and we don’t even get to seem them.
• 4:47 Really, Reese?

Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 12. One comment asks, “When’s the Phantom Blot gonna show up?” That’s right, when is he going to show up?

• 0:06 Crash ain’t stupid, you know, he’s just patient. Well, except when he did that random dance, that is.
• 0:35 Is this kid even trying with the subtitles?
• 1:34 Why doesn’t every enemy surprise them? Why don’t they get excited about two-legger that gets in the way?
• 2:17 And why don’t any of those minions surprise them the first time? People like this, I tell you.
• 2:47 Footage taken from an existing Pooh’s Adventure, and not even in terms of flashbacks. Not this again.
• 2:59 Gasping montage.
• 3:04 Another plot hole - they forgot to introduce Scooby-Dum.
• 3:13 Okay, it’s official - this kid didn’t watch The Thief and the Cobbler at all.
• 3:33 At last, a supporting villain actually does something, even if he’s trying to kill a cobbler!
• 3:36 Wait, he lost just because he missed? People these days…
• 3:48 I couldn’t even get so pissed off about the lack of colons until now.
• 4:52 [link]
• 5:05 How about you get them? God, the magicians in this video are so stupid…

Winie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 11. That’s not how villains work.

• 0:33 How about you all get him?
• 1:18 Shouldn’t they all be shot? Not every one of them could hide that easily.
• 1:42 Translation: “Use the flashlight! I have magic breath and I’m too afraid to use it!”
• 1:46 *drinks again*
• 1:56 Well, the Duke actually got to use his breath for once.
• 2:01 Horray for the annoying kitten!
• 2:03 *drinks yet again* Forget it, every single one of these characters has only one general reaction shot.
• 2:27 At last, new Bowser footage, even if it’s still captioned.
• 2:34 So apparently, watching a fight ensue is making them tougher.
• 2:39 This is just getting worse than Pooh’s Adventures of The Magic Voyage and How the Grinch Stole Christmas combined.
• 2:48 Did this kid even watch The Thief and the Cobbler? Any version?
• 3:10 
• 3:26 
• 3:35 
• 4:05 Hard to see through the rain? Well, that explains everything.

Winnie the pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 10. “i Got Permission to do this”

• 0:06 Finally, a comment that’s actually rather important.
• 0:13 That’s not how believing actually works.
• 0:42 The only thing worse than Cortex’s minions is this.
• 0:53 You heard Mario earlier ago, Crash! Don’t forget the apples!
• 1:21 Or are you?
• 1:46 Didn’t one of them already hurt him?
• 2:06 And wait until you see the platforms before you actually talk about them.
• 2:29 Because Reese couldn’t find a better gameplay video.
• 3:10 Judging from the caption above him, he seems rather happy about it.
• 3:20 But those last subtitles were slightly more readable!
• 3:51 A question that could’ve been asked in the past 20 levels.
• 3:54 And Pooh isn’t listed in the “Idiots” category?
• 4:11 Something that could’ve been said 10 seconds ago.
• 4:37 A complete waste of a guest appearance.
• 5:45 *drinks*
• 5:56 The Grand Duke can breathe magic and turn into a tornado. Why the hell would he enforce himself to get defeated?

Proof that people like this:

• “"Pooh: Probably a dump of honey. Everyone: POOH!!! Pooh: What?” lol We know Pooh bear, he always think of honey. Oh no! Pinstripe’s a madman! Watch out!“
• "Nice job on part 10, Reese. And nice to referemce to Pooh and Ash’s Adventures of Scooby-Doo and the Headless Horseman of Halloween eventhough I haven’t even finished it yet. And when will you make part 11?”
• “I like the refrence to Pooh and Ash’s Adventures of Scooby-Doo and the Headless Horseman of Halloween too. I think it’s one of the most popular films of the Pooh’s Adventures series.”
• “*mass roleplaying*”
• “did you deliberately not make crash jump so that it could be part of the story or was it an accident?”

Well, if you noticed the damn watermarks in the previous 9 parts then you’d pretty much get a hint.

Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 9. At last, no watermark. And decent sync, too.

• 0:01 CORNEDDY GULL.
• 0:03 No. How many times am I gonna keep seeing that?
• 0:06 A bit of times?
• 0:25 Hello? They’re burning pipes! Why wouldn’t he be aware?
• 0:41 (see 1:44, part 4)
• 0:53 Crash already ate everything available.
• 1:30 [link]
• 2:16 DesPEOPLE LIKE THIS!
• 2:22 RABBIT: Stop dancing, Crash, or we’ll make this even longer for you!
• 2:33 “oh d*cut off* (see 2:16)
• 4:10 And now we finally see the helmet of a Ranger who isn’t Red.
• 4:21 The editing is so bad that even spoken and subtitled lines have poor grammar.
• 4:28 MAY FROM POKEMON: You called?
• 5:30 Come on. How was that mask not worthy of any commentary?

Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 8. Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventure through Villains’ Revenge was more exciting than this! And that had overly long and quiet attempts at maze searching and  potion mixing!

• 0:08 Those subtitles don’t help either. They’re overlapping both white and black. And the grammar is terrible!
• 0:20 Looks like Yoshi’s had just about enough of this.
• 0:41 Ever since the last part, these subtitles have become harder and harder to read. Did he actually think we could read them better? Just turn on 240p.
• 1:14 Who do you think he is, Crash Tigger?
• 1:18 Yet another Magic Voyage flashback…
• 1:37 Seriously? Rasputin appearing this late? And subtitles the same colour as the background?
• 1:41 Reese’s subtitling is the worst I’ve seen since the Eds traveled through the Powerpuff Girls Movie.
• 2:07 “So what a*video cuts off* P.L.T.
• 2:19 Just because he orders shadows to do his work doesn’t mean he’s a couch potato.
• 2:44 Or "throwing”, just to up the suspense.
• 3:21 Framelimit cameo.
• 3:54 I’ve seen people confuse “they’re” for “there”, “their” or “thier”, but I never thought I’d see someone confuse it for “thery'r”.
• 4:18 Lazy bastard couldn’t even die.

Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 7. This part contains flashbacks. Ho boy.

• 0:03 He’s waiting for the spears to disappear, you dunce.
• 0:23 I can’t tell them to stop warning heroes about things they can clearly see, this is one of those videos.
• 0:29 Eeyore’s never that excited. Sure he can smile, but he really is never that excited. And that is just a caption.
• 0:43 You were squished.
• 1:17 That’s probably the most fitting reaction shot in the entire adventure.
• 1:40 This coming from a Mario brother.
• 2:20 And make sure that break is a long break.
• 2:31 [link]
• 2:35 TIGGER: Would you believe us if I told you? Ah, of course you would, buddy! Just look at what we’ve been though for the past seven parts!
• 2:49 And now, footage from the mind of another crossover madman.
• 3:11 A Power Ranger just appared without his helmet off, and 86% of the audience didn’t care in any way.
• 3:12 [link]
• 3:15 Piglet sure has changed since.
• 3:28 JEN: No! It’s all lies! Lies!
• 4:22 Too bad, because the sequel’s not going to happen.
• 4:35 Subtitles with poorly mixed colours. Haven’t seen them in a while.

Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 6. Most of the comments on this video are someone’s own version of the story with far better English and vocabulary than any of the subtitles.

• 0:00 It could get worse - this guy could actually be clueless enough to take footage from a Let’s Play where people talk over it (without subtitles).
• 0:02 What was the point of that? What is the point of any of this?
• 0:20 You fools are all going to get pushed off of the edge.
• 0:40 Desperation…
• 1:18 Until you showed up, that is.
• 1:27 Weren’t the bats dangerous enough?
• 1:32 Next thing you know, Crash could stomp on Yoshi.
• 1:46 How can you say that when you’re going up a beanstalk?
• 2:17 That that quick of you.
• 2:26 At least Crash dying was cut out, otherwise this would be even more boring.
• 2:39 Shouldn’t you be dead?
• 3:04 Oh boy. They really are going to interrupt the bonus level.
• 3:12 It may be out of sync, but the idiots who like these videos don’t give a crap.
• 3:40 You had the chance to say that dozens of times before. And besides, they’re not apples!
• 3:54 Well, looking at that jump cut, Brock spoke too soon.

Winnie the Pooh meets Crash Bandicoot, part 5. The gang encounters the first boss. What the hell will they do to stop it? Well? What will they do?

• 0:01 In fact, it’s actually mute.
• 0:03 But where’s Fidget?
• 0:09 Forced montage of incomplete “what"s!
• 0:26 Red Ranger took all the credit, and the best you could do with the others is give one of them a background subtitle?
• 0:33 Ratigan and Fidget could do nothing but advise Pau Pau to look out. Worst supporting villains ever.
• 0:59 But what did he do besides watch?
• 1:00 Uh, Ratigan and Fidget aren’t one.
• 1:03 
• 1:07 (see 1:43, part 3)
• 1:10 Stop shooting a pile of snow and get involved.
• 1:16 Those douchebags killed Basil! The great mouse detective!
• 1:23 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 1:36 Eh, Ripper Roo being Meowth’s friend is more tolerable than being his cousin.
• 1:52 Overblown reaction montage.
• 1:57 If there’s one positive I had to say for this part, it’s that Reese didn’t forget this part.
• 2:19 No, Tigger. What are you doing here?
• 2:24 Hey, it’s Reese!
• 2:39 Crash has jumped on enough bombs to know what you think he doesn’t.
• 2:55 TRANSLATION: *knocks Ripper Roo unconscious*
• 3:12 (see 0:33)
• 3:51 Hasn’t Reese ever heard of a mentally insane person before? Oh wait, he already is one.
• 4:05 Seriously?

Winnie the Pooh meets Crash Bandicoot, part 4. Well, I might not have repeated “what’s the point”, but I do have to repeat “PEOPLE LIKE THIS”. Fuck you, Reese.

• 0:12 Jeez, it sure must be a bummer for these characters to wait once at a time just to bounce on those boxes.
• 0:20 Quick? There’s still more characters waiting their turn!
• 0:36 If this happened in the actual game, Crash would be dead by now.
• 0:52 We’re not seeing you do anything but talk, so I have dobut.
• 1:32 Another case of getting excited as if Crash didn’t do it before.
• 1:44 Shouldn’t they be concerned at all that Crash hurt himself and Aku Aku died?
• 2:08 Reese, you can do better than that. Add in a screOn second thought, don’t. Just don’t.
• 2:17 If there’s a lot of characters following Crash, wouldn’t they be squished at this point?
• 2:31 And yet you didn’t use “Run, run, we gotta run”?
• 2:51 I was expecting a sigh of relief but obviously the poor kid’s lazy.
• 3:06 Unless everyone except the game characters get eaten by piranhas on the way.
• 3:34 (see 1:32)
• 4:22 What is this now, a disneyJSman video?

Comments:

• “That rolling stone reminds of the boulder chase in Indiana Jones! Can you please add Indiana Jones Rolling Stone music to the level Boulder Dash and request some Goofy Hollers and some Wilhelm screams?”
• “*mass roleplaying*”