Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Pictures from an upcoming “TV series”, Simba, Timon, and Pumbaa’s Adventures Chronicles. Yes, even those terrible singers are involved. And it’s been almost a year…

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast: Part 8. The rather obnoxious finale!

• 0:02 AAAAAAAAAARGH
• 0:08 WHY WOULD YOU ENJO*looks at the dislikes* Hmm…
• 0:18 You’re ruining the surprise!
• 0:56 Oh, that’s just bland.
• 1:35 Finally, some of them don’t sound so bored anymore.
• 3:27 Except for your voice.
• 5:19 Greatness ruined by Gary Stus.
• 7:54 And that soul was overpowered by a bunch of El Arca fans.
• 8:08 A match made in hell.

Okay, so this movie was quite different from the rest. I may have created such gunk as Finding Riraty, but if there’s anything I have to say about this, then it’s this - the contrast between subtitles and dubbing was concerning, the character development was wiser than your average Pooh’s Adventure video but still typically stupid, the singing was bad, any humour the classic once had is spoiled by the unfunny furry scenes, the singing is bad, the Rafiki impersonation is bad, the singing is terrible, the video splicing is faulty, the singing is a disgrace, the extra storytelling is insane, and the singing is torture. I guess I could do worse, but then again, I review movies that have better cinematography than mine.

• Faith to the Pooh’s Adventures formula: 
• Gary Stus: 
• Drinking games: 
• Bad singing: 
• El Arca: 

Overall: 2.6/5

0.48/10. I can definitely see the appeal in this video, but even for someone who’s wasted his life drawing mutants with eating disorders, which things like this make me kind of regret, it’s basically a waste of, erm, talent. It could’ve been more interesting if it didn’t obsess over the character design of an otherwise heavily offensive film, and wasn’t even a Pooh’s Adventures video, but not by a mile. Like a handful of other crossover adventure videos, it does not turn the movie into a pleasant experience, no matter how okay the editing is in comparison. But it’s also a video that makes you feel some kind of regret for filling up the page with useless commentary. Because I can’t draw that well and I… I… Um, see me next time when I riff on a worthier video. And remember, kids…

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast: Part 7. The far-too-epic-for-its-own-good battle!

• 0:37 I must ask again: Why isn’t the yellow tiger the villain?
• 1:02 BELLE: How about I show you my newfound companions?
• 1:38 Stop acting. Please.
• 2:11 They weren’t as concerned over the humanoid cats and monkeys?
• 2:34 Says the guy who hung out with a talking lynx.
• 4:04 Aren’t you guys forgetting something?
• 5:26 There’s going to be scene in which the mob is confused as to which beast they should kill, isn’t there?
• 5:54 Had this been Pooh’s Adventures instead, we’d instead expect Tigger to say that.
• 7:25 What a very lazy entrance.
• 9:14 *slams his head against the wall as he would usually do*
• 9:30 *groaning* I am so excited.
• 9:33 Uhm, huh?
• 10:15 You know why that scene with Gaston and Beast was so suspenseful? Because it wasn’t this.
• 10:24 Plus the fact the original voice actors could actually, well, act.
• 10:56 And I thought Kickassia was obnoxious. *hears the booing*
• 11:23 His ability to control fire is far greater than his ability to sound menacing.
• 12:38 *rolls his eyes*
• 13:19 Forget the death of the Beast, this is the true tearjerker!

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast: Part 6. You really don’t have to read this commentary anymore. This video really isn’t quite as horrible as Pooh’s Adventures.

• 4:40 At the least, I got treated to a song that Disney forgot to add to this year’s re-release, not interrupted by furries until the very end.
• 4:47 Keep in mind that before this, the gang took over Dumbo.
• 6:08 And why does Talon get subtitled and not Rafiki or anyone from El Arca?
• 6:25 Okay, that was one of the most forced transitions I’ve ever seen.
• 6:59 Those outfits must look very uncomfortable. They froze them!
• 7:19 …Saturday Morning?
• 7:22 Get back in the audience, Chuckles.
• 8:21 In the words of a bear we used to love until he became a douchebag and started dominating a thousand movies, “Oh, bother”.
• 8:48 What’s especially jarring is that their singing is higher in quality than Mrs. Potts’.
• 9:01 *cries and tears up all his furry artwork from the past*
• 9:21 This isn’t as beautiful as it is hilarious.
• 12:15 THERE JUST ISN’T ENOUGH OF THIS
• 13:05 Stating the obvious? Check.
• 13:15 No, it’s not. It’s because of the talking household appliances.
• 14:01 See what I meant earlier? Why not have him poke out from the right? It would still be stupid, but it would at least be less confusing.

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast: Part 5. Prepare for a story that starts like Beauty and the Beast, and concludes like Freddie as F.R.O.7.

• 0:10 What am I watching again?
• 1:20 Brace yourselves…
• 2:21 So, what about the rest of the gang? What happened to them? Were the El Arca gang nothing more than God’s pervertedness?
• 2:34 *drips water on his eyes to look like tears*
• 4:21 Now, back to the almost real deal.
• 4:36 Especially back to one of the stupidest sidekicks in a Disney film.
• 6:35 Here comes an epic snowball fight!
• 7:10 *eats his popcorn*
• 9:19 You can’t even do that with Movie Maker.
• 9:30 Neither can I!
• 11:45 Just when I was feeling happy.
• 12:07 Hey, it’s funnier than El Arca.
• 12:46 And by that, someone meant “Leave the movie alone”.

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast: Part 4: This part got a dislike and not Heath’s godawful singing?

Oh…

• 0:10 It’s a chain reaction of laziness!
• 1:08 *leaves his count alone* Eh…
• 1:17 You could hire pest control.
• 1:24 Please do this technique more often, so that we know Belle isn’t talking to the dead!
• 2:03 This is what happens when piracy goes this far.
• 3:18 Classic animated musicals and movies with jokes about animal crap and the utter of “big boobs” don’t mix!
• 3:26 Classic animated musicals and cartoons about Oz, well, go ahead…
• 5:21 Classic animated musicals and classic animated musicals? As long as they’re Disney and both from the same era…
• 5:23 Classic animated musicals and this? *sigh*
• 5:40 It would’ve been more amazing if you weren’t there to wreck it.
• 6:14 LUMIERE: Zut alors! What have they done to you, poor Rafiki?!
• 6:43 Dumb repetition? Check.
• 6:50 Panty doesn’t sound quite right…
• 6:52 Hear that, Carl? *stares in fury*
• 7:01 Guess those words really got to him…
• 7:41 Something that should be said in every single one of these videos.
• 7:45 COGSWORTH: *pauses as he looks up* Lumiere, they really got us this time.
• 10:12 BELLE: Oh, dear. Two of the ones I know are cursed!
• 11:03 And you! Get out of the movie!
• 11:25 Benny can fly!
• 11:27 A clip with bad frame rate and snow with better… just… *facepalm*
• 11:41 JOHNNY: How’d those things become more popular than us, anyway?
• 12:35 Oh,
• 12:38 CRAP.
• 12:46 *takes glasses off* I always knew Furry-D couldn’t do your head good!
• 12:55 They only picked up one human? That is just wrong. Well, think about it.
• 13:00 It already got messy.
• 13:54 Never, EVER, let a Gary Stu into a Disney movie.
• 14:39 We have an Oscar contender, ladies and gentlemen!

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast: Part 3. Get ready for the worst singing you’ve heard in an animated film.

• 0:06 *mutes “Belle” and adds a subtitle saying “popularity”*
• 0:10 Who, the prince or the Gary Stu?
• 0:59 Belle sounds rather ill.
• 1:09 In even the most advanced Pooh’s Adventures videos, it would be a cliché to ask what people like the one behind that lion are doing when they’re not even on the cast list.
• 1:37 In even the most advanced Pooh’s Adventures videos, eye contact isn’t a virtue.
• 2:33 Just when I thought I could save time!
• 2:48 Okay, that is nothing you’d see everyday in these videos.
• 2:54 *goes downstairs to get some tomatoes*
• 3:19 *comes back up and throws them*
• 3:35 *gets a cane ready*
• 3:44 There. Now I can have something to enjoy.
• 4:01 *hears footsteps* Oh, no.
• 4:35 Okay, I think I’m going to have to regret what I said about voices being better than subtitles.
• 4:43 -20 points for you!
• 5:01 I’m surprised the reaction to this wasn’t as bad as Friday.
• 5:15 I think this could explain a lot.
• 5:28 GASTON: No one’s ears bleed like Gaston’s!
• 6:27 GASTON: Well, I’ve seen crazier! *looks at the animal standing next to him*
• 7:18 You know what they say - Boo! Hiss!
• 7:56 You know what’s even less possible? Your new “friends”.
• 9:04 At least you’re not having dinner with Heath Lynx.
• 9:25 They’re not dead after all!
• 9:37 Yep. She’s definitely lost her freedom, earlier than she lost her father…
• 9:41 *looks at his “and friends” instance count* Still one?
• 10:29 Humour ruined.
• 11:14 I’m still not seeing enough of these characters. I expected more green-screening!
• 12:07 If BowserMovies were to make this, then I’d be seeing: “If (they don’t) eat with me, then (they don’t) eat at all.”
• 12:15 Shut up, Rafiki, and lay off the booze. *takes a sip of ginger ale*
• 12:36 Why are all the El Arca characters so nice to each other?

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast: Part 2. I wonder why Disney didn’t find this on the day of the 3D release…

• 6:35 The fun doesn’t begin until this point. 
• 6:48 Some of you actually do come from the past. When do you think Noah built that ark? 2012?
• 7:15 One of those rare instances of actually using some sort of blue screen.
• 7:37 You think that’s disgusting? Take a look at the stripping scene in your movie.
• 7:57 Woah! That Rafiki impersonator surely has imprWait a second.
• 8:12 This thing is becoming more and more generic…
• 8:38 Still, better than having a subtitle say “All: And stay out!”
• 9:09 You just don’t sound villainous enough.
• 11:06 Oh, once they get inside, this is going to be the courtroom drama of the century!
• 11:35 Kermodey Gawd!
• 11:49 One. Remember what I said earlier?
• 12:13 *rolls eyes* Ugh…
• 12:52 Where is he, who is he? He looks kind of like DangiHe is Dangino. Tut tut tut…
• 13:14 Next I’d want him to say, “Oh my goodness! It’s my idol!”
• 13:59 Such quality…
• 14:07 BELLE: Sorry, but I don’t usually listen to cardboard cut-outs.
• 14:41 Well, duh. Benny’s an OC. This coming from the guy who’s been stuck with a Hamtaro-style character for 6 years.

I watched El Arca and I can see the appeal - the lions have curves. But that’s all. The rest is just toilet gags, a bird strip club, the mentions of “big boobs”, hell and drugs [sic], terrible voice acting, overly conspicuous CGI, a lack of any consistent humour, a King Louie rip-off, a panther named “Panty” and the involvement of the director of one of the animated Titanic movies. One of its most rabid fans, according to the same guy that submitted the Flintstones movie, is Captain Leo. Or Lionheart Captain. Or Benny the Beast. He used to do crossovers, and they at first looked like this.

He happened to improve quite fast, though, although a lot of what he does nowadays looks kind of cheesy and traced (I doubt he actually did). And to no one’s surprise, he also does crossover adventure videos. Drawings can exist in these kinds of videos, but the main difference is that not only does he use his drawings as well as clips from other cartoons, he has a video maker more advanced than Windows, he can do voices, and his own characters actually appear in the original settings of the movie. So from what I can tell, he’s the most advanced crossover adventure video creator of them all. But is the concept any good? Well, so begins my most hypocritical commentary yet - Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast: Part 1.

• 0:11 Animation not necessary!
• 0:15 Another example of DreamWorks going out of character.
• 0:18 And now, clips from a movie where a stripper chicken takes her bra off in front of the eyes of many children.
• 0:25 This is what happens when you bring a Mary Sue into a movie!
• 0:44 A dog? Eh, that’s kind of natural, I guess.
• 0:46 Genie?
• 0:50 Oh, come on.
• 0:55 THAT ANIMATION
• 0:58 Oh dear, someone’s not going to get a very legal treatment…
• 1:04 Well, at the very least that was better than seeing clips spliced into the opening of Timon and Pumbaa.
• 1:40 If there’s anything this does have that’s common in the world of Pooh’s Adventures, it’s the chance of low quality.
• 2:48 Did I mention that these videos not only go for movies related to anthropomorphic animals?
• 3:59 Those blurs aren’t the only evidence of editing…
• 4:53 Oh God. Here wWait. Where’s the subtitles?
• 4:59 As someone who draws some generic animal mutants (and you wouldn’t want to know how unless you’re a size accepter), I can safely say this: Oh boy…
• 5:06 That character looks more like the daughter of Dagnino and Shere Khan.
• 5:22 Who’s that?
• 5:26 It’s the Beast with a shave!
• 5:28 Okay, that voice seems a little too Chris-Chan-ish…
• 5:49 Worst Rafiki impersonation ever.
• 6:01 Finally. A genius in this Pooh’s Adventures cult!
• 6:13 Because in cartoons, everyone gets fooled by Bugs Bunny!
• 6:24 And now back to good animation.
• 6:55 Good animation will return.
• 7:28 Not even with such audible talking can she hear you.
• 8:41 With a disguise like that, people will be thinking Belle’s even funnier than before.
• 10:32 There were strange impersonations of Rafiki and the cast of The Ark in this, and yet no one could dub Belle? Okay, this won’t be so exciting after all. At least there’s slo-mo instead of Toonguy’s repetition.
• 11:00 *shakes his head in disapproval*
• 12:00 GASTON: Wait, did she say something just then?
• 12:13 Aren’t you a villain?
• 12:23 Acting!
• 12:45 MAURICE: Help! A lion’s in the house! And it talks!
• 13:14 And now, the cliché that is why being joined by too many odd characters when you used to go on your own is a pain in the ass.
• 13:37 MAURICE: Although I know you’re talking lions and I’m expecting to be on the menu anytime soon.
• 13:53 MAURICE: Just look at them! They’re mutant human/lion hybrids!
• 14:13 And neither is the gang that suddenly kidnapped you.
• 15:06 BELLE: Rafiki? You’ve had a cold since the last time I saw you.

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

The teaser trailer for Pooh’s Adventures of Scooby-Doo Goes Hollywood.