Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 11. It’s over. It’s finally over.

• 0:00 Exactly what I said when I found out Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures had gone this far.
• 0:32 THOMAS: Like we do every day!
• 3:40 Did this guy even bother to analyse his work?
• 3:48 Toy Story music?! [link]
• 5:59 Expect Thomas and Twilight reacting dog sex, man asses and robot farts!
• 6:17 You mean the movie that won Rihanna a Razzie and caused G.I. Joe 2 to move to what is now two weeks time?
• 6:44 That bastard who ruined Tex Avery.
• 6:53 [link]

• Uncharacteristic intelligence: 
• Incomplete censorship: 
• The sight of a talking cartoon pony being less amazing than a giant robot: 
• Trainfaggotry: 
• Stupidity: 

Overall: 8.8/5

-0.76/10. See? You’ve already known exactly how far any kind of Pooh’s Adventure can go, and we finally got lengthy video proof. The guest stars interrupt too many times for their own good, the reasons how a dozen trains can fit in a helicopter and actually help the movie characters go unexplained, the dialogue tries to be awesome but ends up uninspired, the Cutie Mark Crusaders and supporting trains dominate the importance of the two title characters, and the creator needs to take a chill pill. But it gets worse, as soon we might find out where that screenshot of Roo came from.

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 10. This guy must be so excited over what he’s done. Too excited…

• 0:08 (see 12:42, part 9)
• 1:14 Except it’ really quite easy for trains to die in this kind of situation. Especially when they’re not really doing anything. And there’s guns involved.
• 1:31 Pirates of the Carribean music? It may be closer to Transformers music than the last two songs, but did you know that the Transformers movies have their own soundtrack albums?
• 2:04 How?
• 2:25 At plenty of 26 second marks, there has to be an overlong Twilight minigun scene that provides no use whatsoever.
• 2:33 “Go James! *cut off* Is this guy even aware?
• 2:51 Told you rolling nowhere would be useless.
• 3:11 What the hell did he do other than just roll along?
• 3:54 Wouldn’t the trains be crashing through or into those obstacles?
• 4:54 What’s with the elephant?
• 5:08 Nothing!
• 5:17 The trains have flesh?
• 6:00 So how did the trains get up there?!
• 6:29 "Sir Han*cut off*
• 6:46 You mean he didn’t explode?
• 6:59 How did he grab the trains in one hand?
• 7:38 Not exactly funny.
• 8:05 [link]
• 10:08 That was more like Steele’s defeat than the last time.
• 10:55 THOMAS: Taste the power of our wheels as they don’t run over you, Megatron!
• 11:27 Finally, he actually used this shot.
• 11:53 It’s not going to help destroy them, or keep this video’s pace going!
• 12:41 "What didn’t ya say so!” No matter how hard he tries…
• 13:00 What are they doing, using the force?
• 13:31 Megatron’s dead and you’re sad about it?
• 13:41 All because the fillies are the smartest, apparently.
• 13:48 Exactly what should’ve been asked the whole way through.
• 14:13 You didn’t do anything at all.

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 9. The featured snapshot leaves me with a pretty bad feeling…

• 2:31 These trains would be dead at this rate! And if they didn’t explode, they sure as hell wouldn’t be able to get back on their wheels!
• 4:47 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 6:26 I doubt even that would do anything. But at least it serves as another reminded that this would be better without trains.
• 6:55 We get it.
• 7:52 So what good is a screaming montage going to do? Contribute!
• 8:53 
• 9:36 (see 6:26)
• 9:48 Oh dear, it’s The Little Engine That Could all over again. Curse you, Tony Goldwing!
• 10:03 But at least this scene won’t last up to half a bloody hour.
• 10:22 This only brings more confusion to how they travel off the rails.
• 10:44 Okay, this may not be The Little Engine that could, but damn, is the pacing slow. And it has an editing mistake.
• 11:07 And it’s not even your fault for being there!
• 12:42 We get it. Fillies and trains running simultaneously and squeaking when it’s nearly impossible for them to live at this rate.
• 13:34 Wallace and Gromit music? Why?
• 14:09 Not subtle at all.
• 14:28 (see 12:42)

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 8. These guest stars have a higher chance of dying than any of the humans involved.

• 1:47 Rainbow Dash’s presence isn’t going to make anything better.
• 1:58 It took four seconds to say “She’s over there”, and a few milliseconds for Shining Armor to introduce himself.
• 2:13 
• 2:16 [link]
• 4:52 Or better yet…
• 5:05 Purish?
• 6:38 [link]
• 7:07 This coming out of the mouths of children.
• 7:31 Why am I taking that out of context? I mean, Twilight is supposed to be Thomas’ girlfriend, after all…
• 7:58 Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures in two seconds.
• 8:10 At least the trains drive themselves, or this would be just as ridiculous.
• 9:24 I was expecting a more logical flatbed!
• 9:55 Background music? That’s also new, except that it’s far from Transformers.
• 12:07 No matter how hard you try to make the dialogue good, it breaks whatever’s supposed to be silence.
• 14:19 This music is just wrong.

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 7.

• 0:15 You mean to say that a train is riding on Optimus Prime?
• 0:55 Thomas was too heavy, anyway.
• 1:19 Close? The Cutie Mark Crusaders fell to their death!
• 3:16 The trains can take themselves.
• 3:44 No, that’s the guest stars’ job.
• 8:09 Wait. Trains? In a helicopter?!
• 11:09 Unless one of the trains accidentally runs them over, that is.
• 13:27 Why does the child have to say this?
• 13:37 *rolls eyes*
• 14:22 Speaking of smaller…
• 14:30 *canned groaning*

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 6.

• 0:37 And her best is nothing at all.
• 1:31 Hey, who’s Shia LaBeouf here?
• 2:34 Because neither of these characters provided any use whatsoever.
• 3:07 How is everypony going to hide and make the whole room look convincing?
• 3:59 
• 5:11 That kind of makes sense to a robot that can transform into a car.
• 5:42 She’s acting regular over a bloody unicorn.
• 6:17 By just watching and commenting.
• 7:14 There’s a bunch of cartoon horses in the house, and no one, I mean no one is at all concerned.
• 7:26 And a dragon! A DRAGON!
• 8:07 Well, that explains a lot.
• 8:10 I heard “shit” and “masturbate” uncensored in this video. What the hell is the use of any more censorship?
• 9:19 No laughing shots?
• 9:40 I heard a ‘p’.
• 10:05 How a- You know what? Forget it. Fucking forget it.
• 11:03 But how were they supposed to fit in a car with room for five people?
• 11:26 THOMAS: We’re gonna run you the heck over.
• 11:30 These people just treated a bunch of rainbow ponies like average citizens and yet they’re speechless when they meet a robot.
• 12:25 Just the way I would say it!
• 12:47 Flawed grammar? Check.
• 12:55 THOMAS: For starters, why weren’t you as concerned to see talking ponies as you were to see us?
• 13:21 *“calvary”

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 5. A G3 pony makes a cameo…

• 2:09 …and none of those ponies were there to make a joke about this.
• 3:18 Fluttershy should not know what any of those things are! Do I have to keep saying this?!
• 3:37 [link]
• 4:43 And where did you learn to think like that?
• 5:32 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
• 5:37 -oh.
• 5:58 Okay, that is just plain lazy.
• 6:06 “Opt*cut off* Celestia almighty…
• 6:25 It’s a Pooh’s Adventure. Why wouldn’t he?
• 6:51 That’s something you don’t get very often in this kind of video. But then again, why am I saying positives about something not made using Movie Maker when Benny the Beast made a video about Titanic?
• 9:15 Gasping montage.
• 13:05 Speaking so much isn’t going to cover up the fact that there’s giant robots outside, even if it’s just subtitles.
• 13:13 *insert gasping train montage here*
• 13:36 He’ll never listen to these guys, especially since the subtitles are outside the box.
• 14:23 Pee joke + Thomas the Tank Engine = Like the Scooby-Doo movie wasn’t bad enough.
• 14:36 Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of The Little Mermaid in a nutshell.
• 14:47 I think I know where that is going…

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 4. This is where it gets messy. Really messy.

• 3:35 Sam Witwicky would probably be crushed by now.
• 3:48 Why don’t the ponies have any travelling shots? Two of the ponies have wings (three if you ignore the upload date).
• 3:53 I will admit that the subtitle font contrast is new.
• 4:02 Too soon, Pinkie. She could’ve reacted by covering her eyes, but no.
• 4:15 She could’ve said it then!
• 4:24 This is what it feels like to have a vehicle as your partner. *glares at the trains*
• 4:37 There are no garages, or cars for that matter, in Equestria. How would even Princess Cadance know?
• 5:18 “On my with my friends mother’s bike” Huh?
• 5:41 You can say that again, talking train off of rails.
• 6:01 *looks at the Like box* PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 6:03 How should they know what a robot is?
• 6:19 That censorship can’t make up for all the guns that were involved.
• 6:23 [link]
• 7:36 So don’t just stand there!
• 7:47 No you haven’t.
• 7:59 Trains can’t step. Wait, are the trains in the car?
• 9:26 I’ve got to hand it to this video - the subtitles use accents, which is also new.
• 10:01 By “crazy” I assume she means that a bunch of talking trains and rainbow ponies are following Shia LaBeouf and nobody seems to care.
• 10:40 Wait, they’re actually contributing now?
• 10:43 Well, that was better than Lucario’s attack on Steele, although that whole video is better than this.
• 11:27 Of course you would know. The creator doesn’t know how curious these trains really would be.
• 11:51 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 11:57 You can say that again.
• 12:07 First of all, obvious line replacement. Second of all, how would they know that?
• 13:06 I repeat, are a bunch of trains actually in the car?
• 13:57 RARITY: …what are we all doing here anyway?
• 14:04 Rarity should know; the ponies have spoken to many Hubsters before.
• 14:12 God damn it. They were all in the fucking car.

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 3. There are ponies and trains in a movie with violence, death and mild swearing. God almighty, why.

• 4:34 That’s why I’d hate it a little less if it was just the ponies - where the hell is Thomas supposed to be sleeping? And why has his accent changed?
• 5:02 Those trains would probably have destroyed the car sooner or later.
• 6:09 How is a train like him, and also a filly, supposed to know what a tractor beam is?
• 6:30 Neither do I.
• 8:37 Which the creator of this video probably used in order to make it.
• 9:09 Yes, creator. Are you?

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers, part 2. The fun doesn’t begin until…

• 6:31 Oh boy. Now this has gotten even worse than Revenge of the Fallen.
• 6:47 This is supposed to be a big budget, PG-13 actioner!
• 6:51 Another case of camcording when you already have perfect clips.
• 7:06 Oh bother.
• 7:50 The more trains, the worse. And now it’s gotten even more ridiculous.
• 8:06 Shouldn’t he be convinced at all that he’s talking to a bunch of trains and cartoon horses?
• 8:15 How should a train like him know what a radio is? (correct me if wrong)
• 11:06 Shut up, talking engine.
• 11:27 Indeed so. In fact, they don’t even need rails.
• 11:36 MEGAN FOX: HOLY SHIT TALKING TRAINS

Today, Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures is going to take on a whole new low. Everyone’s least favourite gang of trains and magical horses are going to the real world to take on a film that’s produced by Steven Spielberg, a common trend, but also directed by an egomaniac who has been compared to Hitler by the co-star of his own movie. It’s a war of man vs. machine, explosions surrounding every battle, and this leads us to question how exactly our new heroes will co-operate. Brace yourselves, followers, as we are going to have to sit through part 1 onwards of Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Transformers.

If Pooh’s Adventures did air on TV, then oh boy, the ratings…

On the bright side, the Christopher Robin introduction will make much more sense.

On the dark side, this is a Pooh’s Adventure of a stage production.