Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Mr. Conductor & Elmo Saves Christmas, part 6. Had Mr. Conductor not been included, I would be at the last part.

• 0:51 Already? What is this, a lousy attempt at pathos?
• 1:17 That could happen any time, Elmo.
• 1:38 And flashbacks.
• 4:13 Pshaw. He’d reach them even if it was Christmas every day.
• 5:12 SPOILER: He already did.
• 5:57 [link]
• 7:28 Well, it’s the last one. Go a-frickin’-head.
• 7:37 This has just about as much subtitle mistakes as the Thomas and Twilight video! (even more if you disable annotations)
• 8:43 You only listened to the end of it!
• 11:18 That’s the second time I’ve seen trains singing in children’s voices! Even if they just badly replaced footage of real children!

(Source: scratchpad.wikia.com)

Mr. Conductor & Elmo Saves Christmas, part 5. *comes out of a trash can* Bah, humbug.

• 2:03 Even Big Bird doesn’t like these unneeded segments.
• 8:34 *takes a swig of hot chocolate* God frickin’ damn it.
• 9:59 Those aren’t very Christmassy.
• 11:46 *drinks* I know this is supposed to be a crossover between two shows, but extending something that lasts 55 minutes to over an hour is just so damn boring.

(Source: scratchpad.wikia.com)

Mr. Conductor & Elmo Saves Christmas, part 4. The Conductor show is where Trainboy got his Halloween special idea from, isn’t it? I hate you, Jon…

• 2:21 Is that really why he chose this?
• 2:33 No it wasn’t. It just made this whole thing even longer.
• 2:54 What?
• 3:00 That guy is his old friend?
• 8:35 Don’t you dare.
• 10:24 This was written by a manchild, in case you forgot.
• 10:53 What did the blue guys say?!
• 11:04 People. They like this.
• 11:30 [link]
• 11:39 PEOPLE LIKE THIS!

(Source: scratchpad.wikia.com)

Mr. Conductor & Elmo Saves Christmas, part 3. It must be awkward to watch this on a phone.

• 0:43 It looks so bad that Santa’s face is blacked out.
• 1:46 It’s not that easy being in an adventure crossover.
• 2:37 One stupid reaction shot! Ah ah ah ah!
• 3:47 You did? Huh, must’ve removed another annotation.
• 4:23 More desperation.
• 7:11 Mr. Conductor is now a manchild. Unbelievable.
• 7:30 He didn’t get get in the sleigh!
• 8:31 That means the video’s going to be pointless again! Oh wait, it already was pointless.
• 10:45 That’s not Cookie Monster, you formerly intelligent, script-robbing dickweed.
• 11:15 Is this guy that desperate after Conductor’s long absence that he’ll just take another character and have him replace Grover’s lines?
• 12:41 Oh, bother.
• 12:47 [link]

(Source: scratchpad.wikia.com)

Mr. Conductor & Elmo Saves Christmas, part 2. Where the hell is Mr. Conductor?

• 0:00 Oh, speak of the devil.
• 0:10 Of course he’d know. He has incredibly long lists of names, so what would you come to expect?
• 0:18 A silent flashback?
• 0:27 He’s using Santa as he appeared in Shining Time Station. Um… clever?
• 0:38 At least add some music!
• 0:58 Honest to God, reader, check your speakers. This is exactly how it sounds.
• 1:24 AAAGH! Oh, thank goodness.
• 2:00 Okay, we understand. They’re all singing.
• 2:58 This is the second time in the past seven days that I’ve sat through an overlong flashback!
• 4:00 He wasn’t even the same actor as you!
• 4:07 [link]
• 4:28 At least it’s a flashback like in Trainboy’s Halloween video and not a train running over Muppets in Sesame Street.
• 6:00 Trainboy’s not narrating this, so what’s the blooming point?
• 8:58 I should’ve said this while riffing Trainboy, Train+Pony Man and Ed-ric, but I adored Thomas. But now that I know the fandom, I can safely say that I despise him. And believe me, unlike Pony, I have yet to see a fan who isn’t that crazy.
• 9:00 There’s that subtitle mistake again!
• 9:53 *stops drawing a fat girl* Huh?
• 12:20 You want to hear my second wish?

(Source: scratchpad.wikia.com)

While this was still in the request queue, a lot of concerning things happened with Sesame Street. Mitt Romney wanted Big Bird fired, Elmo’s puppeteer became the next Michael Jackson, and the show tackled divorce for the first time in years. On the Thomas the Tank Engine side, I’ve dealt with a fandom that I’ve barely seen anything good come out of, including self insertion, failed attempts at disguising giantess fetishism, and the worst of two fandoms at once. And, on Christmas Eve, I went to see The Muppet Christmas Carol on the last day of its theatrical re-release in the UK for the fun of it. So it would be even more interesting to finally riff Mr. Conductor & Elmo Saves Christmas now, wouldn’t it?

• 0:17 Chipmunk music? Eh, why not?
• 0:58 Trains again. Oh joy.
• 1:13 Here, he obviously used Movie Maker but couldn’t be arsed to actually export it.
• 1:28 Oh, that’s Zoe? I couldn’t tell because the camera focus was so terrible.
• 2:18 Cliche of a crossover adventure video #32: Grammar doesn’t mattar.
• 2:40 Annotations. Haven’t seen them in a damn while.
• 2:53 Which means that Sesame Street’s going to have built-in rails, meaning an incredibly low chance of walking or driving! And don’t get me started on Snuffles.
• 3:33 So we have Mr. Conductor from Shining Time Station. Hopefully, the trains will appear in flashback. Hopefully.
• 3:28 Could it take him any longer to say something like that?
• 5:12 SNUFFLES: Because a four-legged lug like me can’t walk in a street where trains will start getting in the way!
• 6:28 Good thing I can remove annotations. That way, any toddler watching this can laugh at it a teensy bit more.
• 8:35 Where’s Mr. Conductor?
• 11:15 I wish I was watching the real thing. *searches on YouTube and clicks the first video* It worked!

(Source: scratchpad.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast : The Enchanted Christmas, part 6. This is too not terrible to make dozens of rants on!

• 0:34 Not so loud! You’re making this situation even worse!
• 1:09 The panther’s microphone, you mean?
• 2:18 Are they shouting at the same time, or is Benny just doing a crappy impersonation again?
• 4:54 >:(
• 5:21 Is that a child or a midget?
• 5:32 A child that looks like a human is the daughter of a couple of furries that have fur on their noses? Awkward…
• 5:52 Would’ve been even stupider if there was a three-headed dragon above them.

• Forced interaction: 
• Lack of trying: 
• Bad impersonations: 
• Microphone abuse: 
• Moon Power: 

Overall: 1.6/5

0.68/10. This was probably the best of the Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures I’ve seen, even if that doesn’t mean it is good. Hewy Lewis probably liked it, though. This, on the other hand, has its fair share of decent if flawed editing skills but tries too hard to be a really good video, mainly because the original wasn’t even very good anyway. Many of the “good” scenes are uninspired, as one scene clearly steals its idea from Toy Story, jokes are ruined no matter how unfunny, and the singing, oh jeez, the singing. As you could tell from the lack of decent riffing, it’s not only the best BL&J video on here but the best crossover I have riffed, even if it’s crap. But we’ve still got one more Christmas video to go - something that was requested months ago!

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast : The Enchanted Christmas, part 5. Compare - which prison scene has more effective emotional depth?

• 0:37 I hope Benny was just walking because of the horse being too slow. Because if he was supposed to be in the sleigh, that would be creepy.
• 3:06 Oh goody.
• 4:03 Obviously, the Disney characters take no notice of the furries because of their lack of decent contribution.
• 4:17 He bumped his head?
• 5:34 So? It would’ve happened without you anyway.
• 5:44 How could they not tell the difference?
• 6:10 The last time this was used, I couldn’t take it seriously.
• 7:46 Humbug.
• 11:27 Desperation.
• 12:41 Oh, we are in trouble alright. Beast’s going to sound dopey.
• 12:53 Wait, which beast is talking here? They both sound the blooming same.
• 12:57 Eh, I was touched more when the fairy sang.
• 13:12 Benny thought ripping off a situation already in the movie would make the video good. *shakes head*
• 14:57 See what I mean?

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast : The Enchanted Christmas, part 4. If there’s one positive thing, ONE, I have to say about Benny’s videos, it’s that they’re not the kind where the guest stars would stalk characters every time.

• 3:17 Just when Chip was celebrating.
• 3:58 Acting…
• 4:52 Nice try at fooling us, but clearly they’re listening to Lumiere.
• 5:12 Lip sync!
• 6:12 Tension!
• 8:32 Beast was filled with so much rage that he lost his voice and Benny had to help him speak again.
• 8:48 But which friend? There’s so damn many of them that it’s hard to tell.
• 11:46 “Thank goodness no one was hurr”

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast : The Enchanted Christmas, part 2. In which Benny exposes his Gary Stu-ness.

• 0:14 It’s Benny’s evil twin brother! He may have better animation, but he does sound the same!
• 1:04 The fact that he’s been crossed over with furries?
• 1:47 And yet he “pussied” up because this is all softcore porn.
• 4:47 There’s so many characters that they have to roll a dice and see who gets the line.
• 5:13 [link]
• 5:48 Not sure if clever or forced plot point.
• 6:34 Benny the Beast - expressing an extreme lack of humour sense since 2010!
• 7:53 *finally laughs*
• 8:47 Good Lord, this has the worst microphone handling I’ve ever heard in a Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventure.
• 9:53 *rolls eyes and groans*
• 10:13 Does she seriously not notice that there are lions in the room? Talking lions, no less?
• 10:29 Don’t lie, Benny. We know you’re trying to screw up history.
• 12:01 The good: despite being in the wrong location, that shot actually fits. The bad: Windows Movie Maker style frame goof.
• 12:20 Weird. Don’t remember this from my Disney Winter Wonderland DVD.
• 12:53 Oh, merde.
• 12:59 Please! The teenage lion girl is a better singer than you!
• 13:10 It’s so bad that some of the singers are off tone.
• 13:20 Sorry to anyone who turned their speakers up because the Disney footage was too quiet.
• 13:58 Ugh, stop this tone-deaf-ness!
• 14:26 Attempt to sing beautifully ruined by a tiny glitch.

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Christmas is coming closer than ever before, and what better way could there be to celebrate than watching a LionKingHeart Fantasy Films production? Well, parties, shopping, reruns of the Grinch cartoon…

Here, Benny and his furry friends dominate the second Beauty and the Beast midquel, and one that isn’t good, but not even as bland as Belle’s Magical World. I’m sure this won’t be like their adventure on the Titanic, but let’s dig into Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of Beauty and the Beast : The Enchanted Christmas anyway.

• 2:02 Our first sign of true crappiness!
• 3:06 Our second sign.
• 3:26 *winks like Trainboy54*
• 4:17 I’m glad you did.
• 4:37 KOMODO GILLED!
• 4:46 Really, huh? The actual truth is on DVD.
• 5:04 Horrible times. Those were horrible times.
• 6:00 Jeez, put the damn microphone down.
• 6:07 DON’T do anything else.
• 6:49 *drops water down his eyes to look like tears*
• 7:39 Oh, I loathe this guy.
• 8:06 Doesn’t hurt as much as seeing you here.
• 8:24 Benny steals Belle’s line. Benny’s a giiiirrrrl! Benny’s a giiiirrrrl! *facepalm* What am I saying?
• 8:46 Good thing this guy has the ability to use effects over footage. Then again, so does 76859Thomas.
• 12:05 Fun ruined.
• 12:32 He gets the fart joke? Really? Well, this came from someone who adores El Arca, a movie about pigeons farting in a bird strip club, so I shouldn’t be too shocked.
• 12:53 It ain’t right to ask that early. Killjoy.
• 13:21 Out-of-sync snowball fight!

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

fuck–no–my–little–pony:

Part of another Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventure video. While the rest of them are made up of clips and subtitles, this part is a specially animated scene where the Mane 6 help out Thomas and Friends for 24¾ MINUTES.

Click here to witness more pony-related Adventure crap.

At least this isn’t a parody of The Lorax.

Thomas and Twilight Sparkle meets Father Christmas, part 3. Lest forget that part 1 had me witness the first ever subtitle goof-ups in the history of this blog.

• 0:07 At least we won’t be able to see Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of The Snowman. But if they tackle The Snowman and the Snowdog then I will be pissed.
• 0:26 So crossing a crooked bridge is supposed to be dancing?
• 1:09 Applejack tries her hardest at a British accent. And also, “Farther” Christmas can already see that! What do you think he is, stupid?
• 1:31 How would you know? You’re a train! *sigh* Cue the “what” montage…
• 2:06 Oops, watermark!
• 2:13 Wouldn’t they all fit in the sleigh? How are they running all the way from the North Pole to London?
• 3:33 *groans out loud* “Your” misuse? Check.
• 5:17 And now a song from Mickey’s Twice Upon a Christmas. That does not fix anything about the Disney logo being used!
• 6:02 Twilight’s singing it? In a male voice? Tut tut…
• 8:09 “Vioce”
• 8:22 He’s a brony, and he actually thinks she’s called “Railty”. Good Christ.
• 8:35 Pooh Footage? What Pooh footage?
• 8:37 Implying that everyone likes his videos.

• Overreactions: 
• Mistakes: 
• Lack of concern over Santa undressing: 
• Logic: What logic?
• Rabid Bronyism and Trainerism: 

Overall: 7/5

0.4/10. During this riff, I sent a message to the creator of these videos.

How are Thomas and his friends able to move like that? I mean, they are trains, so you wouldn’t expect them to move off the rails, or even fly in the air. Besides, how do they even get through the doors and fit in such a small area? I would like to know, because it has confused me ever since I started watching these kinds of videos.

I just hope he responds, because this is by far the most confusing crossover adventure video I’ve ever had the time to sit through. There are so many questions to be asked, so many errors that could have been corrected had the creator analysed his own work before uploading it, and a complete lack of Christmas spirit or respect towards the art of Raymond Briggs animation. Give me a blooming explanation, damn it!

Like Winnie the Pooh and the Dark Crystal, I watched the original before watching the butchered version, and while it ain’t The Snowman, it’s still one of the most unique visions of Santa Claus out there - a guy who has no elves, especially no trains or horses to help him. Just a couple of pets and a couple of reindeer. He ain’t jolly, but a wisecracking, globe-trotting geezer who can think up things to do for the fun of it before the big day. Unfortunately, these crossover people don’t believe in going solo, they fudge up who Father Christmas’ character was intended to be.

Well, enough ranting. Next time, we’re going to see how Benny and his pals got along in the middle of their adventures through Beauty and the Beast. And besides, I’ve seen that the creator of this video has added a part to his latest adventure where KP-ShadowSquirrel’s ponies help out the trains for 24¾ minutes.

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)