Heck No Pooh's Adventures

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

The guy who put Vanellope von Schweetz into Perfect Blue puts another poor, computer-generated little Disney girl into a zombie film. The hell is wrong with this guy?!

It was Trainboy’s birthday yesterday and he is now 20, apparently. What prizes did he get? Shooter games? A boxset of Breaking Bad? Nope, just some paints and toy trains. I’m 19 and I get better presents than this.

Anyway, here’s his audition for the voice of Rex. Personally, I don’t see any difference to his own voice in his impression, he already sounds like a hybrid of Wallace Shawn and that nerdy kid from The Polar Express.

0:08 Yes you are, Jon. Yes you are.

Thought Yakko’s first opening was long? Wait until you see this.

WHY IS THIS A MEME ALL OF A SUDDEN

WHY

• 0:13 No wonder the grammar was so cheesy.
• 4:25 You think? *holds a blood-stained knife*
• 4:30 And I would like to thank you for making them such unlikable assholes.
• 4:41 Yes, Pooh even invaded a documentary. No one is safe, kids.
• 4:52 NOPE
• 4:59 EVEN MORE NOPE
• 5:12 Here! Keep my NOPE!
• 5:21 Take my WHY, too.
• 5:32 Great?
• 5:42 *hangs from the ceiling*
• 5:47 *falls down*
• 6:00 The true heroes. Shame they’re all going to die…
• 6:56 Remember in my parody video when I used a clip of CG Pooh Bear? well…

Comments:

• “yakko, THAT….was incredible. you put that KH cut scene to arvelous use”
• “"Wow. AWESOME CREDITS. AND NICE BONUS ENDING WITH HADES, JAFAR, IAGO, URSULA, THE DUKE, JOKER, HARLEY QUINN AND MALEFICENT. AND NICE LIST OF UPCOMING PROJECTS. AND YOU MADE A WINNIE THE POOH CROSSOVER WITH AN EPISODE OF HENRY’S AMAZING ANIMALS?! NO WAY! THAT’S AMAZING. I LOVE HENRY’S AMAZING ANIMALS. I USED TO WATCH THAT SHOW WHEN I WAS A KID.”

Okay. My ranting isn’t effective enough. Like my last commentaries, was totally ridiculous, childish, over the top, repetitive, generally unfunny, obsessive over my personal interests, less logical than Sony-Mae and not as much criticism as it was a hell of a lot of role-playing, but when a two-and-a-half hour video is this torturous, and the comments are this questionable, your behaviour really suits it. So, what did I think of The Dark Crystal’s butchery?

• Misplaced characters: 
• Dumbing down:
• Drinking games:
• Engrish: 
• Irrelevance:

Overall: 4.4/5

Something I wouldn’t really cheat at. 0.22/10. This is basically why when you go on your own, the audience feels suspense. With Pooh’s Adventures, however, only the poorest of taste would find something to enjoy. The Dark Crystal was not supposed to be a departure from the happy-go-lucky mood of The Muppet Movie - does everything need to be taken over by a once-adored teddy bear?

Pooh’s Adventures is a stalk over our childhood memories, turning the biggest brains of cartoon history into simple-minded douchebags, and while it’s better not to watch it, it’s sickening to see it done to death. It doesn’t improve movies, it just makes everything terrible. And seeing how of all the characters they could choose it has to be Pooh, I may have a form of autism (and it figures, seeing what I just typed up the whole way through these things), but when it’s this restrained (which is not at all), then it’s one of the stupidest fandoms ever experienced on YouTube and everywhere else. Ironically, this ain’t over. I’ll explain the rest in a language those Pooh splicers can understand in a few posts time. Join me after that as I re-experience Beauty and the Beast. In furry-D!

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 16. The second-to-last part. And thank the Gods.

• 2:25 After so much waiting… *now has £50 (although he’s just pretending that since he’s ruining the blog with his oddities)*
• 2:27 If I had extra for every time he said that…
• 2:37 Sure thing!
• 2:41 POOH: We didn’t die!
• 2:45 AUGHRA: You failed to get rid of the toons, Jen. Now you will be stuck with them for eternity. If the sequel does come, that is.
• 3:47 *takes a sip* Hopefully, the game is finished.
• 4:33 SHY: Darn it.
• 4:40 *holds up a knife* But some cartoons will be harmed when this is finished.
• 5:19 What Pooh and his friend didn’t know was that the welcome was actually a punishment for ruining the movie so horribly.
• 5:45 A sad, sad ending. I was expecting better. Because I don’t like Winnie the Pooh anymore thanks to these stupid videos. *he’s joking about that, too*
• 6:11 JEN: Take this, you irrelevant scum! *punches Owl and Gopher*

Comments:

• “This so beautiful. I’m so loving the ending. I could cry at a time like this.”
• “Great ending! I can’t wait for the end credits!”
• “BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO! ;) Nice job on this crossover, Yakko. You were even more perfect than I expected.”

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 15: In Which the Toons Turn Out to Be Villains After All, or So I Would Pretend Seeing As the Obviousness and Filler They Bring Into Their Adventures Seem More Like an Illuminati Plot.

• 0:03 In the world of Pooh’s Adventures, it doesn’t matter what you wear. As long as you’re making a decent reaction shot.
• 1:02 JEN: I, and I only.
• 2:21 JEN: Well, it was good while it lasted.
• 2:58 POOH: We will live forever!
• 3:02 ALL TOONS: We will live forever!
• 3:11 SHY: Oh, good. It’s Fizzgig. Here to interrupt our chanting.
• 3:12 TTARK: His barking will disrupt our chance of being annoying any longer!
• 3:14 TIP: You better be quiet, Fizzgig. The Great Conjunction does not need your yapping!
• 3:28 *sips his drink* Why couldn’t I do this before?
• 3:29 GARFIELD: The party is ruined!
• 3:35 *sips it yet again*
• 3:43 *and again*
• 3:50 *and again*
• 4:12 POOH: Pleased to meet you again, Gelfling. *gets repeated to say “and creatures”* It’s been quite a while. Now, prepare to meet your absolute doom - a gasping montage! Ha ha ha ha!
• 4:34 Of course Poky’s happy about it. Why wouldn’t he be?
• 4:44 You called him Zurg. Aaagh.
• 4:55 BUZZ: Works every time.
• 6:04 POOH: She had it coming. Now, are you ready, fellas?
• 6:16 POOH: Woody! You ruined it. Traitor.
• 6:41 JEN: Sorry, but I don’t take my advice from bad editing!
• 6:46 *earns another tenner* There really wasn’t that much…
• 7:24 JEN: I sure didn’t miss this in part 14.

What? That would at least make a better twist to the story! After all, that icon I’m using was taken from something with a point.

Comments:

• “That was an Epic of excitement! :)”