Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Pooh’s Adventures of Ren & Stimpy?! Is nothing sacred to Yakko and Reese at all?

Pooh’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Poisonous Animals: Part 7. What did we learn?

• 0:00 No, I know something about what makes these videos so terrible.
• 0:08 See how obsessive this guy truly is?
• 0:29 Herp dee derp.
• 0:41 Well, from what I’ve heard, Rarity and some Japanese monster got the chance.
• 1:05 What a slightly abrupt ending.
• 1:47 And I have had it with these *cut* toons in this *cut* TV show!
• 2:52 Including Kevin Schon/Quinton Flynn, in case you’re that lazy.
• 3:24 Seriously?
• 3:44 Makes sense, but not as much with the star power involved.
• 3:55 I already gave my nope to these.
• 4:09 And that’s the only time Gary ever got mentioned.
• 4:24 Elroy’s what?
• 4:33 Which fortunately didn’t happen.
• 4:38 Which didn’t happen either. :)
• 4:54 *drools ignorantly*

• Crossovers:
• Typos: 
• Narrator confusion: 
• Dumbing down of Garfield:
• Dumbing down of the audience:

Overall: 4.6/5

0.08/10. The original show is half and hour long with ads included. The edits in this video extend it to nearly 51 minutes. See how much time Pooh’s Adventures can use up? This video just goes to show that the more characters you have, the less you’ll learn, since they can be such a distraction to the most important subject. Even with typos and fan-created family trees, kids will only feel dumber than before. Tune in tomorrow when I probably tear into a submission I have enough time for, as next week I’ll be in Greece.

Pooh’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Poisonous Animals: Part 6. Hey! Here’s something that oughta attract SpongeBob’s attention!

• 0:35 What’s with everyone saying “yea”?
• 1:06 A minute has passed, and no SpongeBob.
• 1:15 So now the penguins and walruses fit. Just take out the cats and dogs.
• 1:17 CHILD: Mom! Look! An anemonie! MOM: What kind of educational show is this? *turns it off*
• 1:53 SPONGEBOB: And especially not Gary. He’s a snail! And he’s mine! (Geez, there’s so much characters here that two have been forgotten.)
• 2:26 Aren’t Tip and Dash swimmers? Because they were able to tell what a barracuda is.
• 2:37 Even he thinks this is poorly written!
• 2:57 RABBIT: They remind us of our friends, Marlin and Nemo!
• 3:19 Fack you, Yakko. FACK YOU.
• 3:21 How could you not know if you go to Disneyland with him?
• 3:23 Oh God. This is a prequel to Pooh’s Adventures of Finding Nemo, isn’t it?
• 4:15 *sips* Every part except 5.
• 4:23 Patrick, you’re late.
• 4:29 They didn’t comment on the fish, but the scorpions?! Oh, how dumb this is.
• 4:59 There could be. This is Pooh’s Adventures, after all.
• 5:44 CHILD: Mommy! I know what a merekat is! MOM: *burns the tape* Someone’s going to get sued today…
• 5:48 Bad Disney pun much?
• 6:06 They’re not even in an appropriate order!
• 6:10 Garfield, you mean?

Pooh’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Poisonous Animals: Part 5. Two guests arrive - one relevant, one completely forced.

• 0:05 Henry might have been sarcastic, you know…
• 0:18 Misuse of “it’s”? Check.
• 0:23 And he’s clever enough not to be pestered by length-extending cartoon clips.
• 1:11 You have way too many friends for your own good, do you know that?
• 1:27 See what I meant earlier about Timon and Pumbaa?
• 1:38 Talk like an imported foreign film!
• 1:42 *notices the comma* Rabbit’s the narrator!
• 2:16 The bees, of course.
• 2:17 Stop making this thing longer!
• 2:29 Woah, getting into Henry’s show really didn’t do Fifi well.
• 2:47 Because this is a cartoon segment, don’t expect Tigger to make any comments.
• 3:30 WHAT?!
• 3:34 You’d be able to tell if you read the web address.
• 3:36 ORANGE: I’m Cartoon Network’s latest abomination!
• 3:41 And yet you didn’t know much of the characters you first met?
• 3:55 Blinky the ghost? How much more characters do we need to ruin this documentary?
• 3:58 Tennessee was right - Annoying Orange is the narrator.
• 4:04 You tell him, Henry. And tell that to the rest.
• 4:33 ORANGE: And their butts were the inspiration for my comedy! Nyahahahahahahaha!
• 5:04 At least you’re helping the poor narrator’s intelligence improve.
• 5:30 The orange would never think up a joke THAT bad!
• 6:20 And now Peach and Toad are characters in this video! Aargh!
• 6:36 And Peach is the narrator.
• 7:27 How is that even remotely a joke?
• 7:46 I dunno, Dwayne Johnson?
• 8:01 Wasn’t he on the moon?
• 8:44 Couldn’t you say “just like” instead of “that reminds me of”? It shortens down the subtitles.
• 9:36 And you didn’t do that any earlier?
• 9:46 1. *facepalm* The spelling… 2. Garfield, don’t you hate mice, and rats for that matter?
• 10:14 Notice the change in subtitle font?

Pooh’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Poisonous Animals: Part 3. Poor, poor Garfield…

• 0:05 And these toons couldn’t even accompany the cartoon sequence, which was a hell of a lot more entertaining than the edited parts of this video.
• 0:16 Translation: Bark bark bark. *panting*
• 0:39 Please say that to every crossed-over character in this video.
• 0:44 Excuse me, but didn’t Shy just tell everyone to let the narrator finish?
• 1:21 *bangs head on the desk* Yup! That’s education right there!
• 2:00 *sips* He’s not your cousin, Chumley.
• 2:16 “That means to blend one of your colors in with the background, or ano*cuts to next shot* This too?
• 3:03 Punctuation…
• 3:17 Shut up, cat who can’t even spell "hibernation” right.
• 3:33 He could’ve used that for every scene if he had to.
• 3:53 There’s so much dialogue to rip off!
• 4:50 The repetition here is even more blatant than before.

Pooh’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Poisonous Animals: Part 2. The “documentary” begins!

• 0:24 And that smart one is not the guy who thought this would be a good idea.
• 0:59 Just imagine if these people took on Life in a Day.
• 1:37 Oh. It’s everyone’s favourite porn star.
• 1:50 MOWGLI: I’m a gecko? Well, you’re a marmoset!
• 1:58 Wouldn’t “distant relative” be a smarter phrase?
• 2:12 Subliminal Woody. We even got to hear him speak.
• 2:21 He’s going to hypnotise the viewer to make more crappy crossover videos. And it’s going to be sexy.
• 2:29 Don’t boost it up a notch!
• 2:35 This musical number is distracting any interest provided by the nature footage.
• 3:04 Garfield’s the narrator? *angry face*
• 3:22 So, you’re assuming Kaa is real? What’s even going on here?!
• 3:26 Um, 1:52?
• 3:29 Yeah! Leave the gecko out of this! Henry the Man Cub does not deserve such cruelty!
• 3:41 Tigger’s right.
• 4:10 You said one of them was your cousin.
• 4:20 There are so many people getting educated by this that I’m actually feeling dumber.
• 4:41 *crickets chirp*
• 4:44 And now Spongebob’s the narrator? This is blowing my mind. Illegally.
• 4:59 It saddens me how stupid Garfield is in the eyes of YakkoWarnerMovies.
• 5:20 Not as long as the clips interrupting this video in total.
• 5:33 *sips*
• 5:39 Poky! Look the hell away!
• 6:09 And why isn’t there a gasping montage?
• 6:32 It’s that again…
• 6:36 Good thing someone survived the dumbing down of the gang.
• 7:02 Tennessee, did you not say that you know that snakes can be milked?
• 7:06 You don’t really shake your head when saying “yea”.
• 7:16 If we only had one side character, then everyone will actually learn something!
• 7:32 Pooh’s probably one of the only characters in this crossover that makes some form of sense.
• 8:19 Sigh.

For those of you who may not know, Amazing Animals was one of Dorling Kindersley’s many educational series, made into a TV show co-produced with the Disney Channel and starring a CG gecko named Henry. Among the documentary footage provided of wild animals, there were also 2D cartoon segments and a bunch of other animal characters. You heard me - Disney, CG gecko, 2D cartoon segments. And you know what that means - from the creator of the double feature of overblown terror, Pooh’s Adventures of Amazing Animals - Poisonous Animals!

• 0:52 And there’s the dated Nickelodeon logo, put in there for the same reason as The Little Mermaid 2.
• 1:08 What frame rate!
• 1:26 So much companies, and you didn’t even take out the last ’s’.
• 1:51 Subliminal Pongo.
• 2:00 Isn’t it blatantly obvious why Yakko chose this?
• 2:15 I will admit this - this really should’ve been part of the Simba, Timon and Pumbaa’s Adventures series. Pooh doesn’t do crap about anything, anyway.
• 2:35 Even the VHS can’t take it.
• 3:22 I wanted to learn about nature, not this scene again!
• 3:47 And yet you’re supposed to be in a white background.
• 3:59 Hey, wait a minute. You forgot to introduce the play!
• 4:10 It’s the screencap I used on my first ever post to this blog!
• 4:35 *sobs*
• 5:13 At least the obvious is taking over bad editing.
• 5:47 That scene lasted about a minute and 12 seconds, and it’s going to return soon enough.
• 5:55 The Hundred Acre Wood. Where else do you think you are?
• 6:17 It really is Pooh’s Adventures of Ghostbusters all over again at this point.
• 7:13 Prepare for a lot of dumbing down.
• 7:21 If a kid watched this, would he be watching a modified comedy, or a documentary?
• 7:30 I’m sorry, but I’m not learning anything from this. I’m just distracted by the excessive reaction shots.
• 8:26 You can’t even spell “lizard” right.
• 8:28 Okay, everyone. Be prepared. The drinking game’s gone to this clip.

• 0:13 No wonder the grammar was so cheesy.
• 4:25 You think? *holds a blood-stained knife*
• 4:30 And I would like to thank you for making them such unlikable assholes.
• 4:41 Yes, Pooh even invaded a documentary. No one is safe, kids.
• 4:52 NOPE
• 4:59 EVEN MORE NOPE
• 5:12 Here! Keep my NOPE!
• 5:21 Take my WHY, too.
• 5:32 Great?
• 5:42 *hangs from the ceiling*
• 5:47 *falls down*
• 6:00 The true heroes. Shame they’re all going to die…
• 6:56 Remember in my parody video when I used a clip of CG Pooh Bear? well…

Comments:

• “yakko, THAT….was incredible. you put that KH cut scene to arvelous use”
• “"Wow. AWESOME CREDITS. AND NICE BONUS ENDING WITH HADES, JAFAR, IAGO, URSULA, THE DUKE, JOKER, HARLEY QUINN AND MALEFICENT. AND NICE LIST OF UPCOMING PROJECTS. AND YOU MADE A WINNIE THE POOH CROSSOVER WITH AN EPISODE OF HENRY’S AMAZING ANIMALS?! NO WAY! THAT’S AMAZING. I LOVE HENRY’S AMAZING ANIMALS. I USED TO WATCH THAT SHOW WHEN I WAS A KID.”

Okay. My ranting isn’t effective enough. Like my last commentaries, was totally ridiculous, childish, over the top, repetitive, generally unfunny, obsessive over my personal interests, less logical than Sony-Mae and not as much criticism as it was a hell of a lot of role-playing, but when a two-and-a-half hour video is this torturous, and the comments are this questionable, your behaviour really suits it. So, what did I think of The Dark Crystal’s butchery?

• Misplaced characters: 
• Dumbing down:
• Drinking games:
• Engrish: 
• Irrelevance:

Overall: 4.4/5

Something I wouldn’t really cheat at. 0.22/10. This is basically why when you go on your own, the audience feels suspense. With Pooh’s Adventures, however, only the poorest of taste would find something to enjoy. The Dark Crystal was not supposed to be a departure from the happy-go-lucky mood of The Muppet Movie - does everything need to be taken over by a once-adored teddy bear?

Pooh’s Adventures is a stalk over our childhood memories, turning the biggest brains of cartoon history into simple-minded douchebags, and while it’s better not to watch it, it’s sickening to see it done to death. It doesn’t improve movies, it just makes everything terrible. And seeing how of all the characters they could choose it has to be Pooh, I may have a form of autism (and it figures, seeing what I just typed up the whole way through these things), but when it’s this restrained (which is not at all), then it’s one of the stupidest fandoms ever experienced on YouTube and everywhere else. Ironically, this ain’t over. I’ll explain the rest in a language those Pooh splicers can understand in a few posts time. Join me after that as I re-experience Beauty and the Beast. In furry-D!

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 16. The second-to-last part. And thank the Gods.

• 2:25 After so much waiting… *now has £50 (although he’s just pretending that since he’s ruining the blog with his oddities)*
• 2:27 If I had extra for every time he said that…
• 2:37 Sure thing!
• 2:41 POOH: We didn’t die!
• 2:45 AUGHRA: You failed to get rid of the toons, Jen. Now you will be stuck with them for eternity. If the sequel does come, that is.
• 3:47 *takes a sip* Hopefully, the game is finished.
• 4:33 SHY: Darn it.
• 4:40 *holds up a knife* But some cartoons will be harmed when this is finished.
• 5:19 What Pooh and his friend didn’t know was that the welcome was actually a punishment for ruining the movie so horribly.
• 5:45 A sad, sad ending. I was expecting better. Because I don’t like Winnie the Pooh anymore thanks to these stupid videos. *he’s joking about that, too*
• 6:11 JEN: Take this, you irrelevant scum! *punches Owl and Gopher*

Comments:

• “This so beautiful. I’m so loving the ending. I could cry at a time like this.”
• “Great ending! I can’t wait for the end credits!”
• “BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO! ;) Nice job on this crossover, Yakko. You were even more perfect than I expected.”

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 15: In Which the Toons Turn Out to Be Villains After All, or So I Would Pretend Seeing As the Obviousness and Filler They Bring Into Their Adventures Seem More Like an Illuminati Plot.

• 0:03 In the world of Pooh’s Adventures, it doesn’t matter what you wear. As long as you’re making a decent reaction shot.
• 1:02 JEN: I, and I only.
• 2:21 JEN: Well, it was good while it lasted.
• 2:58 POOH: We will live forever!
• 3:02 ALL TOONS: We will live forever!
• 3:11 SHY: Oh, good. It’s Fizzgig. Here to interrupt our chanting.
• 3:12 TTARK: His barking will disrupt our chance of being annoying any longer!
• 3:14 TIP: You better be quiet, Fizzgig. The Great Conjunction does not need your yapping!
• 3:28 *sips his drink* Why couldn’t I do this before?
• 3:29 GARFIELD: The party is ruined!
• 3:35 *sips it yet again*
• 3:43 *and again*
• 3:50 *and again*
• 4:12 POOH: Pleased to meet you again, Gelfling. *gets repeated to say “and creatures”* It’s been quite a while. Now, prepare to meet your absolute doom - a gasping montage! Ha ha ha ha!
• 4:34 Of course Poky’s happy about it. Why wouldn’t he be?
• 4:44 You called him Zurg. Aaagh.
• 4:55 BUZZ: Works every time.
• 6:04 POOH: She had it coming. Now, are you ready, fellas?
• 6:16 POOH: Woody! You ruined it. Traitor.
• 6:41 JEN: Sorry, but I don’t take my advice from bad editing!
• 6:46 *earns another tenner* There really wasn’t that much…
• 7:24 JEN: I sure didn’t miss this in part 14.

What? That would at least make a better twist to the story! After all, that icon I’m using was taken from something with a point.

Comments:

• “That was an Epic of excitement! :)”

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 14: In Which the Video Goes From Seemingly Regular to Mind-Meltingly BAD.

• 0:06 Man, this guy’s copy of Windows Movie maker must be really laggy.
• 0:20 The most logical thing you could say is “He’s okay!”
• 1:19 If you used that slo-mo effect now, then why couldn’t you do it wheAw, crud.
• 1:24 And now comes evidence of a huge plothole.
• 1:28 I second that “What”.
• 1:32 Your editing ain’t fooling us. WE KNOW IT’S SID.
• 1:39 *slams his head on the radiator*
• 1:42 WHAT IS GOING ON?! IS THE SKEKSIS TALKING OR WOODY? AND WHAT’S WITH SID?!
• 1:50 *gets a headache*
• 1:56 Good lordy. This sucks!
• 2:07 This is so confusing that I forgot how to paint.
• 2:18 *sits in the corner and cries* Why? Why? What is happening? Who is the real antagonist here?
• 2:35 Just pretend that Skeksis is debeaked…
• 2:45 Woody, earlier ago, you were talking to Mystery Inc. the first time you saw them. Do you remember?
• 3:34 You just made the fact that this is supposed to be “The Legend of Sheriff Piglet” even clearer.
• 4:06 You just walked out of a saloon.
• 4:31 AUGHRA: According to Jen, I believe you have just experienced it.
• 4:37 RABBIT: …or I’m not walking in the snow!
• 4:49 *takes a single sip*
• 5:52 JEN: Well, at least there’s no one here to say “behind you”!
• 6:45 JEN: Oh, how great it feels to go solo. I feel like a new Gelfling!
• 7:25 *sips again*
• 7:29 JEN: *in his mind* Oh, I sure do hope it’s only Kira…
• 7:33 AUGHRA: Or came, in their cases.
• 8:39 JEN: And I found without any cartoons pestering me!

Comments:

• “What Winnie the Pooh episode was that from 4:06 to 4:12? I love this one from 7:38 to 8:17. But here’s a question. Totally tricky. Why did the UrRu just chanted a long chant that made Garthim soldiers back down? Well, that was nice of Garthim letting UrRu pass.”
• (the creator’s response) “(imitating Tigger) Oh Shucks. It was nothing at all. And did you liked the way that I dubbed the scientist with Sid Phillip’s voice?”

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 13, the second part to currently stand with two dislikes. *rubs his stomach* And pretty soon I’m going to lose two subscribers.

• 0:17 What?
• 0:24 Oh. Forgot that this thing is a western.
• 0:54 *slams his head on the desk repeatedly*
• 1:03 *drinks another whole glass*
• 1:11 *drinks yet another* Cut it out, you piece of crap, you!
• 1:22 *drinks* Oh, if only I were drunk…
• 1:45 *drinks again, but notices something* Wait. I haven’t been drinking beer this whole time. It’s ginger ale!
• 1:57 *drinks the ginger ale once again* Huh, so this game’s doing me good after all. *looks down* Comparatively…
• 2:05 *drinks it for the sixth time*
• 2:13 *and the seventh*
• 2:22 *eighth time in a row* I *hic* bloody well hope so!
• 2:29 *ninth* Oh, dear. I think I’m about to break my personal record.
• 2:37 *breaks his record, and sees his followers disappear* Next video, I’m counting.
• 2:48 Pooh! It’s time.
• 2:54 Heh heh. Works never.
• 3:53 What a way to imprison poor Garfield.
• 4:03 What’s a real life human doing in The Dark Crystal when she isn’t a puppeteer?
• 4:04 It turns out that she is at the very least a voice actress.
• 4:06 Pooh, you may not have the brightest of minds, but that’s the dumbest question I’ve heard you ask in my life.
• 4:09 Shouldn’t that apply to the walruses and bears as well?!
• 4:12 And now, part 2 of the cliché - Owl’s cowboy musical number.
• 4:55 Finally, back to the plot. The Skeksis has been waiting for more than a minute.
• 5:30 And now, the world premiere of Winnie the Pooh and The Adventures of Tintin.

Comments:

• “Man, those two Skeksis are funny when they see Kira and the heroes and head to the main cham.”
• “why not show the dark crystal in its entirety? i would appreciate it ”

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 12: In Which Kira Sprouts Wings, and a Walrus is the First to Make a Big Deal Out Of It.

• 0:16 Lumpy makes a damn cameo.
• 1:19 You know what would be interesting? One of these characters actually using a weapon on these things. Garfield, use your sword!
• 1:29 JEN: No! My friends! *in his head* That’s quite nice to know.
• 1:43 A great scene BUTCHERED.
• 2:02 There’s really no need to ask that, Chumley.
• 2:12 See?
• 2:52 Yes, go in there, Pooh, while the Gelfings can go through their entrance. You aren’t green-screened, after all.
• 4:17 It’s definitely not any of those ways, Pooh.
• 4:29 Filler, just to make sure the characters have some screen presence. We wouldn’t want it to end up like Pooh’s Adventures of the Flintstones Movie, wouldn’t we?
• 4:55 *gets another glass*
• 5:20 You see, Pooh and friends? This movie ain’t right for you!