Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 13, the second part to currently stand with two dislikes. *rubs his stomach* And pretty soon I’m going to lose two subscribers.

• 0:17 What?
• 0:24 Oh. Forgot that this thing is a western.
• 0:54 *slams his head on the desk repeatedly*
• 1:03 *drinks another whole glass*
• 1:11 *drinks yet another* Cut it out, you piece of crap, you!
• 1:22 *drinks* Oh, if only I were drunk…
• 1:45 *drinks again, but notices something* Wait. I haven’t been drinking beer this whole time. It’s ginger ale!
• 1:57 *drinks the ginger ale once again* Huh, so this game’s doing me good after all. *looks down* Comparatively…
• 2:05 *drinks it for the sixth time*
• 2:13 *and the seventh*
• 2:22 *eighth time in a row* I *hic* bloody well hope so!
• 2:29 *ninth* Oh, dear. I think I’m about to break my personal record.
• 2:37 *breaks his record, and sees his followers disappear* Next video, I’m counting.
• 2:48 Pooh! It’s time.
• 2:54 Heh heh. Works never.
• 3:53 What a way to imprison poor Garfield.
• 4:03 What’s a real life human doing in The Dark Crystal when she isn’t a puppeteer?
• 4:04 It turns out that she is at the very least a voice actress.
• 4:06 Pooh, you may not have the brightest of minds, but that’s the dumbest question I’ve heard you ask in my life.
• 4:09 Shouldn’t that apply to the walruses and bears as well?!
• 4:12 And now, part 2 of the cliché - Owl’s cowboy musical number.
• 4:55 Finally, back to the plot. The Skeksis has been waiting for more than a minute.
• 5:30 And now, the world premiere of Winnie the Pooh and The Adventures of Tintin.

Comments:

• “Man, those two Skeksis are funny when they see Kira and the heroes and head to the main cham.”
• “why not show the dark crystal in its entirety? i would appreciate it ”

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 12: In Which Kira Sprouts Wings, and a Walrus is the First to Make a Big Deal Out Of It.

• 0:16 Lumpy makes a damn cameo.
• 1:19 You know what would be interesting? One of these characters actually using a weapon on these things. Garfield, use your sword!
• 1:29 JEN: No! My friends! *in his head* That’s quite nice to know.
• 1:43 A great scene BUTCHERED.
• 2:02 There’s really no need to ask that, Chumley.
• 2:12 See?
• 2:52 Yes, go in there, Pooh, while the Gelfings can go through their entrance. You aren’t green-screened, after all.
• 4:17 It’s definitely not any of those ways, Pooh.
• 4:29 Filler, just to make sure the characters have some screen presence. We wouldn’t want it to end up like Pooh’s Adventures of the Flintstones Movie, wouldn’t we?
• 4:55 *gets another glass*
• 5:20 You see, Pooh and friends? This movie ain’t right for you!

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 11. With all those toons stealing Jen’s lines, I’m starting to feel that I’m a little bit in character as Jen in comparison…

• 0:05 Wait, was that a slow-mo effect? Why the hell didn’t you think of that before?
• 0:30 JEN: Do I look smart to you guys?
• 1:13 JEN: Good thing there are only two of these…
• 1:23 Consult Genie for the right answer.
• 1:47 PIGLET: Oh, it’s not a play. It’s a clusterfudge.
• 1:56 Augh. They speak so much of the obvious that they spoiled the ending.
• 2:19 I guess he wants YOU to stay!
• 2:36 Thank God. For a second I thought there’d be another musical number.
• 2:56 JEN: *in his head* The prophecy didn’t say anything about cartoons, either.
• 4:35 The Skeksis = the creator. The crystal = Pooh’s Adventures. The Podling = the viewer.
• 6:59 So, what about Tip and Tennessee?
• 7:10 JEN: *in his head* I hate you, Kira…

Comments:

• “Oh look. Our heroes geot a ride. Now they are on the way. Oh man. It’s just as I thought, one of Skeksis, the Scientist puts the Podlings at the chair, draining their essence for the Fountain of Youth to make an Emperor young. Good thing that doesn’t work. They need Gelflings. And what movie was it that shows Woody on 7:04?”

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 10. Most of the people who commented on this video haven’t even seen the movie.

• 0:13 Why don’t you ask Christopher Robin?
• 0:34 They seem to be taking it even better.
• 0:36 They aren’t even running!
• 0:39 *facepalm*
• 1:05 KIRA: Movie?
• 1:08 JEN: Don’t listen to them, Kira! They’re trying to ruin our secrets!
• 1:47 JEN: It was theirs.
• 1:54 JEN: I’m not that lucky…
• 2:02 Why do I get the feeling that Tip and Dash are rip-offs of Tennessee and Chumley?
• 2:50 JEN: We’re just a couple of Gelflings being pestered by a group of cartoons that won’t stop stating the obvious.
• 3:56 JEN: I just can’t believe my lines are being stolen by a puppy.
• 4:31 The sound effects are still ruining the beauty.
• 5:04 JEN: *in his head* Pfft, you’re too earthly for that definition.
• 5:31 JEN: *in his head* How would a simpleton like you know?
• 6:17 In Pooh’s Adventures, everyone’s a terrible actor.
• 6:37 *takes a swig*
• 6:44 I don’t think Kira would ever use the word “guys”, and I’ve been role-playing as a disgruntled Jen.
• 6:56 ALL: No! Take the cartoons instead! *pause* ALL: *except Jen* Wait, what?
• 6:58 Yes, but not all over the place.
• 7:03 You too, former wise guy.
• 7:17 The other toys aren’t even supposed to play a part in this video! And neither is Melody.
• 7:19 I’m still watching this with headphones, you know.

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 9. The fact that I’m not being too affected by this drinking game, and that I’m earning money off of a repeated reaction shot, I personally think can get illogical and stupid. Just wanted to stay true to the Pooh’s Adventures formula.

• 0:32 Why couldn’t you ask him before? Because that would just add to the repetition.
• 1:03 Due to the majority of obviousness in this video, I’d expect someone to say, “Now I know who the Ewoks ripped off.”
• 2:26 JEN: *in his head* Although I still prefer not to be corrected by a plush doll.
• 2:45 JEN: Why couldn’t I get Kermit?
• 3:07 What I hate the most about this character addition is that Garfield is portrayed as way too simple minded. He’s just way too friendly.
• 4:20 Since when did barracudas come into this journey?
• 4:27 I’m currently listening to this part with headphones, and I can tell any of you that have the same speakers as mine that this seriously needs a “fix”.
• 4:41 And thank goodness I kept them at the same level.
• 4:50 Since when did Ttark get the voice of Wallace Shawn?
• 5:00 Woody seems to be taking it rather well this time.

Comments:

• “I loved the part when Tigger said "That’s got to be intresting.”“

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 8. This rant keeps getting worse and worse.

• 0:02 *drinks*
• 0:09 *drinks another*
• 1:33 *drinks yet another*
• 1:56 *drinks for the fourth time* I’d be taking sips if the writing wasn’t so lazy. *hic*
• 2:17 *drinks again* Stop it!
• 2:59 *drinks yet again*
• 3:19 And now back to the real *urp* studpidity…
• 4:05 Yes, but your commentary isn’t going to make it any better.
• 4:17 Well, you better hurry, Garfield. *holds up the soundtrack* It’s buy one, *holds up a small bottle of poison* get one free.
• 4:51 JEN: Piglet, I was about to say that, you attention hog!

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 7. You can always count on formerly lovable cartoon characters to ruin your first date.

• 0:06 Expect a scare reaction montage in 3… 2… 1…
• 0:17 Seriously? No scares, just characters commenting about mud puddles? Feck you, YakkoWarnerMovies!
• 0:44 £30!
• 0:53 JEN: Will you guys shut up? You’re taking away my chance to score!
• 2:54 JEN: Or so “Yakko” want them to.
• 2:57 Only because you’re made out of limited animation.
• 3:40 JEN: Kira, don’t!
• 4:06 JEN: Ugh, you have no idea what’s going on here, don’t you?
• 4:43 JEN: Kira, look. These characters have infected hundreds and hundreds of movies, and pretty soon the whole galaxy will be affected by meaningless reaction shots and subtitles! To heck with the crystal, *whispers* we must get rid of them first.

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 6. Watch as the gang ruin tension once again!

• 0:15 Hurry? You’ve been reacting for 17 seconds. Not quick enough.
• 0:31 *gets his glass prepared for the next utter of “and his friends”*
• 0:51 Okay, what the hell?
• 2:14 And yet, Jen could not sleep because of his crew’s endless yapping.
• 3:17 And here’s something we saw in the second video I riffed on.
• 3:43 Could it be? A clip from Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue? That’s how you do crossovers, people! Put them in the same shot!
• 4:02 Did that REALLY need to be subtitled? Or is it just something that needs to be “fixed”?
• 4:26 Now, why couldn’t they mention that before?
• 4:36 And Jen finally expresses his true feelings toward the journey.
• 5:33 Isn’t silence supposed to be golden? Subtitles count too.

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 5, and part 10 of the double feature. twelve more parts to go through a 2 hour 38 minute journey! Welp.

• 0:06 JEN: Oh, please do! But not me, of course. Just the ones with borders around their bodies. And the toys, they ain’t real either.
• 0:15 JEN: That’s not all I want of you, Aughra…
• 0:58 JEN: Adventures are more exciting when solo, you know. Next you’d be stalking Anakin Skywalker…
• 1:12 *earns more money* £20!
• 2:23 AUGHRA: Your evil schemes to invade others’ privacy, that’s what!
• 2:36 AUGHRA: …and those blasted cartoons!
• 2:43 AUGHRA: Or worse, life as we know it will be muted!
• 3:11 JEN: Says the creatures who’ve been dominating over a thousand planets!
• 4:10 Well, I’m not even seeing that much of Piglet, so I’ll go for this one instead. *grabs a whole bunch of glasses and drinks them all*
• 4:22 Yes I know, Pooh. It’s boring, isn’t it? Not the movie, though.
• 5:08 My exact feelings on the sound volume.
• 6:01 JEN: Why, Lord? Why?!

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 4. Prepare for another god damned character introduction scene.

• 0:18 The real enemies here are those “strange creatures”.
• 0:34 How can editing like this not be worthy of a dislike?
• 1:48 JEN: Oh, of all the comic relief I could get, why’d it have to be this?
• 1:56 JEN: If you’re his cousin, then Kira is my sister.
• 2:23 JEN: Although not as much as being surrounded by annoying cartoons.
• 2:50 JEN: And how I wish…
• 2:55 JEN: Not listening… Not listening… Not.. Not… Grrr…
• 3:23 You’re ruining the creative vision.
• 3:41 Other than a random, spikey forest?
• 4:03 This is not the place, period.
• 4:16 DUKE: Oh dear, <subtitle>you sh</subtitle>ouldn’t spoil the surprise…
• 4:30 Remember: Main character in peril = fan-placed side characters in peril!
• 4:42 RABBIT: starring in such a dark movie,
• 4:58 Weird. Normally, I’d expect the whole gang to gasp.
• 5:14 JEN: And you are just about to experience what hell really looks like.
• 5:37 He actually said that three times in this video.
• 5:43 AUGHRA: Gelfling, I think I may have experienced a greater threat to this world than the Skeksis.
• 6:02 POOH: Someone who claims himself to be Yakko Warner, to speak the truth.
• 6:07 JEN: He’s over in his suburban home, planning on dominating another peaceful world.

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 3, the first part to get a dislike before I came in. And no wonder…

• 0:09 JEN: I can see that, you dumb furball.
• 0:11 JEN: Please take me with you, master…
• 0:17 Jokes? More like no time for the obvious.
• 1:24 JEN: Danger? How about you guys?
• 1:44 JEN: *runs away* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
• 1:57 WE SAW THIS IN THE FIRST PART OF THE DOUBLE FEATURE.
• 2:30 PEOPLE. LIKE. THIS.
• 3:02 I agree, Tennessee. Is this dark, or filled with glee?
• 3:24 Alright, the drinking game now goes to Piglet with a sheriff badge looking around in fear. Bottoms up!
• 3:42 JEN: I’m back! How’d your piss on Jim Henson’s corpse go?
• 3:57 While Jen suffers immense irritation from his newfound companions.
• 4:03 (And the musical number didn’t even help)

Comments:

• “Excuse me, Yakko, but is it true that you HAVE to put a variation of Tip and Dash’s song in EVERY pooh movie you make? Sorry, I didn’t mean to rude to you if was as such.”

Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal: Part 2. Keep in mind that parts 1 and 2 of this one had over 9 likes and no dislikes before I started ranting on this. And expect a lot of RP'ing, seeing how that is most of the comments given to this double feature…

• 0:23 JEN: Oh, dear. They got me. Act natural…
• 0:33 Grrrr…
• 0:46 Aaargh…
• 0:55 JEN: Your prisoner.
• 1:01 JEN: Some place that hopefully wouldn’t be invaded by cartoon characters!
• 1:07 JEN: *in his head* If possible, I could feed these guys to the Skeksis. Ooh, Jen, you are a genius!
• 1:11 JEN: *in his head* Heh heh heh. Suckers.
• 1:37 JEN: *look at those imbeciles, all going the wrong way.
• 1:48 JEN: *in his head* Friends, yes. But not for long…
• 2:12 JEN: *in his head* None of your business, space ranger.
• 2:36 JEN: *in his head* Deary me, you guys are the “pathetic” in unsympathetic.
• 2:57 JEN: How’d you know they were my friends in the first place? *in his head* Yes they will, but they surely won’t destroy me. Ha ha ha.
• 3:10 *earns £10*
• 3:19 Subtitles in front of subtitles!
• 4:16 JEN: Oh cripes. I better be careful about what I say.
• 4:59 JEN: I haven’t warned you about the crossover invasion yet, master!

And now it’s time for Winnie the Pooh and the Dark Crystal, or to make more sense, Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal. Since the film ain’t even a bad one (Scooby-Doo was just an episode), I watched the original film first - slow pacing, but that’s 80’s fantasy pacing and I enjoyed it a lot. Of course, adding Pooh and a bunch of other toons into a dark puppet fairy tale will do nothing to enhance the experience…

• 0:12 Sometimes, I wish they they would actually conclude that drumroll with a surprise. That’s why I dropped Rocco into my parody.
• 0:16 Not funny enough.
• 0:24 Legund of 2heruf Piglit. Again.
• 0:27 Well, well. Someone finally muted Piglet this time. This could be an improvemNah, that still doesn’t make it a good one at all.
• 0:28 Thus, the writing is still lazy.
• 0:37 Didn’t we already see that logo? Because the one in The Flintstones was a pardoy.
• 0:52 Jim Hension?
• 1:04 Well, so far, things are looking interesting.
• 3:08 Augh. Interest ruined.
• 4:24 As there is a heck of a lot of subtitles, wouldn’t you need screenplay credits as well?
• 4:30 Eh, even though the titles are concerning, this looks pretty dark for a Pooh’s Adventures video.
• 4:49 What am I saying.
• 4:55 Does almost every Pooh Adventure have to be a western?
• 5:27 All too quiet, and my speakers like things louder! At least the narrator can get back to his story, though.

Comments:

• “you need sound leveling…i couldn’t watch it cause I had to keep jumping up to turn the volume down and up and down and up”
• “Now this is my kind of show. I didn’t know there is another world and another time. This kind of resembles Star Wars residence.”
• “*mass role-playing*”
• “how come they dont make movies full of fantansy.my no one movie ever!”
• “When I watch this I always feel like I’m gonna turn around and there’s going to be some random guy I’ve never seen before in my life staring at me from across the room. And it’s freakin’ the hell out.”

Pooh’s Adventures of Scooby-Doo Where Are You: Jeepers It’s the Creeper: Part 5. The end of the adventure. Shame it isn’t the end of immature ranting. Notice how many tags there are, by the way?

• 0:05 *drinks another whole glass, because that’s exactly what these videos are doing to him (or maybe it’s because he owns a blog about fat cartoons)* At least I have a better reason to do this now.
• 0:24 Although Piglet with the sheriff badge could count also. And the subtitle.
• 0:25 *pause*
• 0:28 *switches the drinking game to any time the rest of the villains are uttered and drinks all that he missed* Burp. Ugh, why?
• 0:44 Garfield, you’re becoming more and more similar to Odie. And I’m not talking to the dog you’re running with.
• 0:53 Simba’s taking it rather well.
• 1:00 And again, and again, and again…
• 1:20 Music? This is getting exciThat’s just making it even cheesier.
• 1:39 Never seen a boomerang that teleports stuff to somewhere else before.
• 2:11 That’s a grandfather clock!
• 2:16 I don’t understand the meaning of reality anymore! *fades into oblivion*
• 2:24 Who said wet dreams can’t do anything?
• 2:27 All because you’re more important than they are.
• 3:27 All because you aren’t involved enough to join them!
• 3:58 *pulls out a dagger* Let’s see who Simba really is…
• 4:05 Don’t you just hate it when these people want to add in the characters so bad that they just have to steal others’ lines?
• 4:09 Why is everyone of the same species cousins? Why no mention of Poky being Scooby’s nephew and Shy Little Kitten being Garfield’s niece?
• 4:51 How should you know? You weren’t even in this cartoon to begin with.
• 5:01 *takes a drink*
• 5:09 OFFICER: *in his head* If he thinks he’s telling the truth, then I’m going to put him in that special room…
• 5:29 OFFICER: *in his head* Maybe not. I think I should go there.
• 5:41 *drinks* All to make this experience worse… *hic*
• 6:16 Geez, Woody, get a sense of humour.
• 6:32 YAKKO: Well, Doc, a manchild seems to be manipulating my very world with unrelated cartoon clips, time repetition and subtitles!
• 6:48 The torture never ends!
• 7:39 Gee, I wonder how many drugs they’ll add to this one…
• 7:55 [link]
• 7:59 It’s not a play, it’s actually a 5-D re-release.

Comments:

• “As Garfield would say, "Nice Touch”. You should use Aerodynamic by Daft Punk for whatever NEXT Pooh/Scooby Crossover you make"
• “I think this is a biggest hit in the world. I can hardly wait for Pooh’s Adventures of the Dark Crystal and see the UrRu, (the Mystics) and their counterparts, the cruel Skeksis.”
• “Great part. And I liked that battle scene that you and Toonguy500 made. I liked the part when Tigger used a boomerang to fight BrerFox and BrerBear. And I liked the part when Woody defeated the Duke by using a flashlight to scare him away. And a great conclusion to the short film. And now, it is time for Winnie the Pooh and the Dark Crystal.”
• “Great conclusion on Scooby Doo! Where Are You: Jeepers, it’s the Creeper. And nice job for Tigger using his boomarang to defeat Brer Fox and Brer Bear, and with Woody flashing a light at the Grand Duke’s face, was an absoulute defeat. And it’s all thanks to ToonGuy500 for coming up with a script for a battle. I’m gonna give credit to skb2108 for when I release the climax Pooh’s Adventures of Total Drama Action: Princess Pride, cause he gave me the script for that.”
• “*mass role-playing*”
• “This is too twisted for words…”
• “Thanks for posting, this episode makes a nice pilot to when Scrappy Doo was added because the baby chicken was not afraid of the creeper.”

I’m going to have to re-watch The Dark Crystal in order to riff this, as it’s something I haven’t seen in years. However, I can safely give my verdict to this. So, what did I think of this video. What did I think, eh?

Sure that reaction may be over-the-top, but then again, so is the majority of reaction shots in Pooh’s Adventures. SON OF A BITCH, WHAT A DUMP. This was absolutely bonkers, and I don’t even mean that in a good way. Why the hell do people like this stuff so much? How is it so appealing? They don’t appear together, so why can’t they just write fan fiction instead? It’s true what those two people said earlier: This is the embodiment of unrestrained autism. If there’s any video crossover done right, then it’s most definitely the best YouTube Poops. This? This is equally as bad as rule 34! What are we supposed to be watching? The characters overpower everything in the story, the subtitles give bad Magic Voyage flashbacks, the Toy Story clips fit the least, and the repetition springs too many ideas for a drinking game. Even if it wasn’t filmed with a camera, it’s confusing, witless and messy enough for this kind of verdict:

Editing failures: 

Dumbing down: 

Drinking games: 

Engrish: 

Irrelevance: 

Overall: 5/5

A dead-on 0/10. A cheatsy one, but a horrible one. Is it the worst, though? Well, I’ve only watched a few of these by far, so I don’t really know if it is the worst, but as far as I know, Pooh’s (family-friendly) Adventures of South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut is probably going to get even less if possible.

Pooh’s Adventures of Scooby-Doo Where Are You: Jeepers It’s the Creeper: Part 4. So far, this has made me lose all respect for every character involved in this video. Guess I gotta buy the DVDs!

• 0:20 Coomadih gord!
• 0:29 SHAGGY: …but Velma’s turned into a wind-up monkey!
• 1:04 Pooh’s Adventures. Taking jokes seriously since 2009!
• 1:17 That’s Brer Rabbit, not Scooby.
• 1:27 That’s not the Grand Duke, that’s a woman.
• 1:41 KrattsCreaturesfan could have learned something from this.
• 1:48 Even Garfield’s bored of this.
• 2:01 These forced, repeated reaction shots are just making the short long. Too long.
• 2:07 This, too. It’s why The Magic Voyage was stretched to almost two hours.
• 2:22 See? Saying “the villains” would make it so much easier.
• 2:24 THEY ARE NOT BLIND.
• 2:33 And you’re doing it again.
• 2:42 Forget the drinks. I already destroyed my belongings from so much rage.
• 3:06 VELMA: *in her head* This is going to be one long mystery…
• 3:12 VELMA: Daphne, get the Mystery Machine. I quit.
• 3:28 Maestro? This is no time for singing, we have a mystery to solve!
• 3:40 CREEPER: You know what? To hell with this world. *takes his mask off and shoots himself in the head*
• 3:52 We can still see Melody, you know.
• 4:01 Imagine how this would sound on the soundtrack album.
• 4:17 At least The Little Mermaid II isn’t even a good movie, otherwise I’d be crying my eyes out.
• 4:39 But you will sing!
• 4:44 Oh, thank you, Buzz. If only you could’ve said that earlier.
• 4:58 DAPHNE: *under the dubbing* Velma, we’re moving to a much safer universe.
• 5:03 At least Buzz is still the smart one.
• 5:25 I agree. We’ve been waiting two minutes. No wonder why this part has less likes than its dislikes.
• 5:44 Well, you’re still wasting it!
• 5:52 Oh. What are you doing here, Comic Sans?
• 6:05 Apparently, YWM re-uploaded this part to fix something. Isn’t it still broken?
• 6:18 Stop being so obvious, Simba, or I’ll poach you.
• 6:42 You’re not letting the real gang say anything!
• 7:10 It’s nothing to do with you, Wakko.
• 7:19 If this was any stupider, then this could lead to a very long introduction scene. Like the one earlier…
• 7:38 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 7:42 Alright, that does it. *takes two shots*
• 7:44 So you’re assuming they all fused into one?
• 8:02 You should’ve gone to Specsavers.

Comments:

• “Good job fixing it.”