Heck No Pooh's Adventures

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 6.

• 0:06 Does it even look like Lucario?
• 2:00 This guy could’ve kicked Steele’s ass when he had the change, but no. This is one of those videos.
• 2:26 That doesn’t help at all.
• 3:13 *drinks to the shot of Lucario running away*
• 6:35 I’ve got to hand it to this video - at least it takes awareness of how unusual the guest star looks in the subject universe.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 5.

• 2:03 Another actual guest star? Ho boy…
• 2:37 You call that saving him?
• 3:12 [link]
• 4:38 You’re a Lucario! You should know!
• 5:33 “There okay!!” Ugh…
• 7:38 It could be worse.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 4. This is the smallest commentary I’ve done in years. The fewer the better…

• 5:39 Lucario’s supposed to be a badass, not a dopey/aggressive animated sidekick.
• 6:40 You said you would help, didn’t you?
• 7:58 Subtitles?

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 3. The film is loosely based on a true story. The true story did not have talking birds or polar bears, but it sure as hell didn’t have any blue, two-legged jackals.

• 7:24 Lucario is just working with Boris, and ruined a joke. That just makes him even more useless.
• 7:31 Where did that rock come from anyway?
• 8:54 That coming from a Pokémon.

Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 2. Wait, where’s Lucario?

• 1:26 There’s Lucario. How did he get all the way to 1925?
• 1:40 And Lucario doesn’t have company. Dull, but a relief.
• 2:12 Lucario, what are you sighing about? You’re not the one with a crush on a red husky.
• 3:31 Why do I feel that Lucario is going to be more developed that Pooh Bear ever was in his adventures?
• 4:20 This video’s stench?
• 5:08 Well, of course it didn’t. Your voice is too whispery.
• 5:32 What an awkward use of a sound effect.
• 6:25 Ash cameo. So he isn’t alone after all.
• 7:33 Forget what I said earlier, Lucario basically copies Boris.

Balto finally came to Netflix UK, and while it is a little over the top, it still provides a decent amount of entertainment value. In sumnation, I will finally choose to riff an old submission from Joseph Martinez that invovles Balto, and Pokémon. No, it’s not Ash Ketchum, who already has plans on screwing it up, but one single Pokémon. Get ready to sit through one of the only surviving Pooh’s Adventure videos currently on Vimeo, Lucario’s Adventure in Balto, part 1.

• 0:04 Our first true sign of badness - a lazy recolour.
• 0:28 Hmm, no theme song. There’s a departure.

Another Lion King 1.5 based teaser for a crossover adventure. Speaking of which, doesn’t Pumbaa have side effects when being crowded?

Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 14. The end! Or not, since the sequel hooks are so blatantly overstated.

• 0:16 You were begging for it, of course.
• 0:28 You absolute wimps.
• 0:55 Imagine how it must feel to say that. Wouldn’t “Thanks for your help, everyone” be enough?
• 1:17 And to make it even more boring, the credits are silent.
• 1:18 I just hope there’s no sequel.
• 1:28 But due to the bastards at Fox, it had to be the second weakest Batman film ever made.
• 1:37 Do I look like I enjoyed this?
• 1:53 That’s not how you begin a bonus ending.
• 2:17 I still don’t know what the hell’s going to happen next in this Batman thing, neither should I care. I’m glad Reese gave up when he made a part that contained neither Batman or Pooh Bear, but him facing off against internet reviewers.
• 2:26 Subliminal Angry German Kid?

• Shits not given when Aku Aku dies: 
• Desperation: 
• Evidence of no English classes: 
• Laziness: 
• Pointlessness: 

Overall: 11/5

-1.2/10. Not only are game-based Pooh’s Adventures videos the most pointless of all, they have some of the most questionable logic since any video involving trains. How would anyone following Crash be able to hop on all those platforms without failing to catch up, or even worse, dying? What’s also unbelievable is how so much praise could be given to a video where even the character names are misspelt, characters barely make any appearance and villains give up just so they can be in the next adventure. What sort of entertainment value is provided from these videos? What? Besides, it seems that Reese also took on Kirby 64 recently. PEOPLE LIKE THIS.

Proof that people like this:

• “Nice ending.”
• “Will you please do the The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh intro style for the rest of the Crash Bandicoot trilogy and download some Goofy Hollers and Wilhelm screams and put them into the rest of the films?
• "This is the best thing evur!”
• “This is the best thing evur!”
• “that was the best thing ive seen in my entigre lyfe plz do 1 with homstock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
• “This is the best thing evur!”

The first two bullet points are not sarcasm.

Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 13. Reese also made Pooh’s Adventures of Donkey Kong Country. Be thankful that’s just the TV show.

• 0:30 This is Pooh’s Adventures. POOH’S Adventures.
• 0:40 Actually, isn’t Buddy Bear standing right in front of you?
• 1:01 Pooh stopped sitting on his fuzzy ass and actually defeated a villain. At last.
• 1:14 We got to see a new reaction shot for Pooh Bear, and yet Tigger still remains the same. Thankfully, this part was made in July…
• 2:16 Finally.
• 3:51 With some emphasis on “Fimiliar”.
• 4:23 Except the only action we’ll be able to see is Crash attacking Cortex, and a fan trying to hump the computer screen has hard as he can.
• 4:37 The beginnings of exciting action scenes and we don’t even get to seem them.
• 4:47 Really, Reese?

Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 12. One comment asks, “When’s the Phantom Blot gonna show up?” That’s right, when is he going to show up?

• 0:06 Crash ain’t stupid, you know, he’s just patient. Well, except when he did that random dance, that is.
• 0:35 Is this kid even trying with the subtitles?
• 1:34 Why doesn’t every enemy surprise them? Why don’t they get excited about two-legger that gets in the way?
• 2:17 And why don’t any of those minions surprise them the first time? People like this, I tell you.
• 2:47 Footage taken from an existing Pooh’s Adventure, and not even in terms of flashbacks. Not this again.
• 2:59 Gasping montage.
• 3:04 Another plot hole - they forgot to introduce Scooby-Dum.
• 3:13 Okay, it’s official - this kid didn’t watch The Thief and the Cobbler at all.
• 3:33 At last, a supporting villain actually does something, even if he’s trying to kill a cobbler!
• 3:36 Wait, he lost just because he missed? People these days…
• 3:48 I couldn’t even get so pissed off about the lack of colons until now.
• 4:52 [link]
• 5:05 How about you get them? God, the magicians in this video are so stupid…

Winie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 11. That’s not how villains work.

• 0:33 How about you all get him?
• 1:18 Shouldn’t they all be shot? Not every one of them could hide that easily.
• 1:42 Translation: “Use the flashlight! I have magic breath and I’m too afraid to use it!”
• 1:46 *drinks again*
• 1:56 Well, the Duke actually got to use his breath for once.
• 2:01 Horray for the annoying kitten!
• 2:03 *drinks yet again* Forget it, every single one of these characters has only one general reaction shot.
• 2:27 At last, new Bowser footage, even if it’s still captioned.
• 2:34 So apparently, watching a fight ensue is making them tougher.
• 2:39 This is just getting worse than Pooh’s Adventures of The Magic Voyage and How the Grinch Stole Christmas combined.
• 2:48 Did this kid even watch The Thief and the Cobbler? Any version?
• 3:10 
• 3:26 
• 3:35 
• 4:05 Hard to see through the rain? Well, that explains everything.

Winnie the pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 10. “i Got Permission to do this”

• 0:06 Finally, a comment that’s actually rather important.
• 0:13 That’s not how believing actually works.
• 0:42 The only thing worse than Cortex’s minions is this.
• 0:53 You heard Mario earlier ago, Crash! Don’t forget the apples!
• 1:21 Or are you?
• 1:46 Didn’t one of them already hurt him?
• 2:06 And wait until you see the platforms before you actually talk about them.
• 2:29 Because Reese couldn’t find a better gameplay video.
• 3:10 Judging from the caption above him, he seems rather happy about it.
• 3:20 But those last subtitles were slightly more readable!
• 3:51 A question that could’ve been asked in the past 20 levels.
• 3:54 And Pooh isn’t listed in the “Idiots” category?
• 4:11 Something that could’ve been said 10 seconds ago.
• 4:37 A complete waste of a guest appearance.
• 5:45 *drinks*
• 5:56 The Grand Duke can breathe magic and turn into a tornado. Why the hell would he enforce himself to get defeated?

Proof that people like this:

• “"Pooh: Probably a dump of honey. Everyone: POOH!!! Pooh: What?” lol We know Pooh bear, he always think of honey. Oh no! Pinstripe’s a madman! Watch out!“
• "Nice job on part 10, Reese. And nice to referemce to Pooh and Ash’s Adventures of Scooby-Doo and the Headless Horseman of Halloween eventhough I haven’t even finished it yet. And when will you make part 11?”
• “I like the refrence to Pooh and Ash’s Adventures of Scooby-Doo and the Headless Horseman of Halloween too. I think it’s one of the most popular films of the Pooh’s Adventures series.”
• “*mass roleplaying*”
• “did you deliberately not make crash jump so that it could be part of the story or was it an accident?”

Well, if you noticed the damn watermarks in the previous 9 parts then you’d pretty much get a hint.

Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 9. At last, no watermark. And decent sync, too.

• 0:01 CORNEDDY GULL.
• 0:03 No. How many times am I gonna keep seeing that?
• 0:06 A bit of times?
• 0:25 Hello? They’re burning pipes! Why wouldn’t he be aware?
• 0:41 (see 1:44, part 4)
• 0:53 Crash already ate everything available.
• 1:30 [link]
• 2:16 DesPEOPLE LIKE THIS!
• 2:22 RABBIT: Stop dancing, Crash, or we’ll make this even longer for you!
• 2:33 “oh d*cut off* (see 2:16)
• 4:10 And now we finally see the helmet of a Ranger who isn’t Red.
• 4:21 The editing is so bad that even spoken and subtitled lines have poor grammar.
• 4:28 MAY FROM POKEMON: You called?
• 5:30 Come on. How was that mask not worthy of any commentary?

Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 8. Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventure through Villains’ Revenge was more exciting than this! And that had overly long and quiet attempts at maze searching and  potion mixing!

• 0:08 Those subtitles don’t help either. They’re overlapping both white and black. And the grammar is terrible!
• 0:20 Looks like Yoshi’s had just about enough of this.
• 0:41 Ever since the last part, these subtitles have become harder and harder to read. Did he actually think we could read them better? Just turn on 240p.
• 1:14 Who do you think he is, Crash Tigger?
• 1:18 Yet another Magic Voyage flashback…
• 1:37 Seriously? Rasputin appearing this late? And subtitles the same colour as the background?
• 1:41 Reese’s subtitling is the worst I’ve seen since the Eds traveled through the Powerpuff Girls Movie.
• 2:07 “So what a*video cuts off* P.L.T.
• 2:19 Just because he orders shadows to do his work doesn’t mean he’s a couch potato.
• 2:44 Or "throwing”, just to up the suspense.
• 3:21 Framelimit cameo.
• 3:54 I’ve seen people confuse “they’re” for “there”, “their” or “thier”, but I never thought I’d see someone confuse it for “thery'r”.
• 4:18 Lazy bastard couldn’t even die.

Winnie the Pooh Meets Crash Bandicoot, part 7. This part contains flashbacks. Ho boy.

• 0:03 He’s waiting for the spears to disappear, you dunce.
• 0:23 I can’t tell them to stop warning heroes about things they can clearly see, this is one of those videos.
• 0:29 Eeyore’s never that excited. Sure he can smile, but he really is never that excited. And that is just a caption.
• 0:43 You were squished.
• 1:17 That’s probably the most fitting reaction shot in the entire adventure.
• 1:40 This coming from a Mario brother.
• 2:20 And make sure that break is a long break.
• 2:31 [link]
• 2:35 TIGGER: Would you believe us if I told you? Ah, of course you would, buddy! Just look at what we’ve been though for the past seven parts!
• 2:49 And now, footage from the mind of another crossover madman.
• 3:11 A Power Ranger just appared without his helmet off, and 86% of the audience didn’t care in any way.
• 3:12 [link]
• 3:15 Piglet sure has changed since.
• 3:28 JEN: No! It’s all lies! Lies!
• 4:22 Too bad, because the sequel’s not going to happen.
• 4:35 Subtitles with poorly mixed colours. Haven’t seen them in a while.