Heck No Pooh's Adventures

I recently said that I will reblog anything Thomas-related, and so, in case you weren’t aware these actually exist, I’m going to be riffing a video where he joins magical ponies on an adventure through the result of YouTubers liking just about anything. And I’m not talking just about Pooh’s Adventures, I’m talking about a webseries that has the same plot line in every episode. Fillies and gentlecolts, Thomas and Twilight Sparkle’s Adventures of Annoying Orange - Captain Blood Orange.

• 0:01 So far, it’s already stupid. Thomas is a train. Trains can only run on rails, and cannot fit into an entire kitchen.
• 0:05 You think that’s interesting? Thomas and Twilight have adventures all across the frickin’ world.
• 0:13 You and me both.
• 0:17 Okay, if they are really going to be on a boat, it would make sense for Thomas to transport inside a ferry. And yet, he won’t be able to see what is going on.
• 0:27 Okay, so it’s a supermarket. That doesn’t make any difference to the logic of this crossover!
• 0:41 Really, if they had to travel on a pirate ship, it would sink in an instant.
• 0:57 Besides, it makes more sense (but not my a mile) to use the CG trains because their mouths move.
• 1:03 And the ponies’ first appearance is nothing more than a gasping shot.
• 1:30 This is just more proof that these people would enjoy anything.
• 1:39 Aren’t they even too big to be on that ship? Give us an explanation! Did they shrink down? Is Thomas nothing more than a toy train?
• 1:53 My thoughts exactly.
• 2:06 People, this is all they’re put on the ship for. Stating the obvious and reacting. Like most other Pooh’s Adventures videos.
• 2:10 Such bad continuity. First he’s being narrated and then he’s talking with his own mouth.
• 2:34 Cummin’ Dick Cold!
• 2:37 One of the only shots that actually fits.
• 2:56 There they go again. Reacting so the fruits don’t have to!
• 3:15 He’s rolling on the rail while the fruits are on a ship on wheels, and my brain is currently bleeding.
• 3:44 Hello? They’re just playing around. Why get so wussy?
• 4:41 I do hate it when they introduce characters too late. They’re basically coming out of the blue at a time like that.
• 5:02 The Annoying Orange is free to be as unfunny as he wants. Let the dumb toddlers laugh, and stop making remarks. After all, I’ve seen people who have little kids that were disappointed by these videos.
• 5:18 That’s another reason the ponies were put in there - to replace dialogue. Oh, how I hate this.
• 5:46 Did he forget to add a subtitle?
• 6:11 Tut tut, two second “what” montage.
• 6:36 Plagiarist.
• 6:56 Misuse of “here”? Check.
• 7:07 Was he supposed to be hiding under the haypile?
• 7:17 Why are they cleaning a rock? Why are they grey?
• 7:43 At least stealing the orange’s lines will shut him up for once.
• 7:50 We could easily tell whose lines were stolen just then. Do they even think?
• 8:03 Another sign of desperation.
• 8:44 Aren’t Thomas and his friends supposed to be tied up? Why are they moving?
• 9:08 *glares to the right*
• 9:26 The suspends is killing me!
• 10:03 And what are they even doing with a bunch of talking food? Are they supposed to be toys that come to life whenever they feel like it?
• 10:49 Hey, give the human a chance. Pinkie’s party cannon is just full of confetti. Not very painful. Although this is painful to watch…
• 11:57 GPOY.

• Rabid bronyism: 
• Rabid trainerism: 
• Cameo uselessness: 
• Brain cancer: 
• Fun of using ratings beyond 5 stars: 

Overall: 6/5

-0.2/10. Once again, we get a video where any explanation of logic is absent, grammar is bad, crossovers are ridiculous, jokes are ruined and the target show is absolutely terrible. Not even the inclusion of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man or Godzilla need this much explanation. 76859Thomas, if you’re reading this, ask me. How did a bunch of talking trains manage to fit inside a supermarket when they’re dozens of times larger than the characters they’re helping? Why do you think rainbow ponies are a good set of characters to pair with them? How did even the ponies manage to fit inside a tiny ship on a shopping cart? Are they toys, too? Did Twilight manage to shrink the entire gang?  And why the hell do you find this show funny? Next time you do make a video with Thomas the Tank Engine and Twilight Sparkle, please. Give reason.

youtubeclassics:

I can clearly tell if they are running or dancing!

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic, part 5. Benny laments about his stupidity.

• 1:17 It was incredibly pointless anyway!
• 1:53 No. NO. NOPE. NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
• 2:21 No, Benny. WE’RE doomed.
• 2:28 We can already see who Rafiki’s really hitting - a cartoon wildebeest, and not a cartoon wannabeast.
• 4:39 Worst pause cut using an expensive movie maker EVER.
• 5:03 “Johnny look down the Grand Staircase and sees water rising up from below.” Why does this fanfic keep using both past and present tense?
• 5:15 Okay, that actually holds the record.
• 5:37 You seriously thought that would add some humour?
• 6:29 *cries* Please stop…
• 8:26 Eh, at least there’s no giant octopus.
• 9:24 A sword? MOON POWER? Oh, my hate for this is unbelievable.
• 9:43 Wait. What were the swords for again? To piss me off?
• 9:48 RABBIT: Ada– How can you think of [mermaids] at a time like this?
• 9:50 Yes, to piss me off, alright.
• 10:21 All of this led to Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures of the Little Mermaid?! MOST OFFENSIVE STORY CONNECTION EVER.
• 10:35 I feel bad for everyone involved in the disaster, especially for having the mood lightened by furries.
• 12:28 TCastro? The guy who used to be my friend? How could you?!
• 13:30 You mean the guy who loved the Titanic so much he screwed it? In the ass, no less?

• Lack of jokes: 
• Lack of continuity: 
• Lack of accurate impersonations: 
• Lack of charisma: 
• Lack of taste: 

Overall: 6.8/5

-0.36/10. This is the worst Fantasy Films Adventure yet. It’s offensive, boring, idiotic and, looking at the ratings, highly overrated. And what’s more, the death of 1500 people is followed by The Little Mermaid. This is just as bad as the animated Titanic movies from Italy, and you can’t help but get horrifying flashbacks to In Search of the Titanic. Plus, why do people get fooled that easily in the videos by disguises, even when they’re worn by lions? This is especially insulting as it treats the Titanic crew like they’re stupid. It’s not educational, it’s fap worthy (Here’s looking at you, Kane Taker). And it’s trying to be serious, which provides no answer to the question, “Who is it aimed at?” Well, it’s not for children, but it surely ain’t for people with heart either. What a way to celebrate a centennial, eh?

Featured comment: “Wow! All the people who are involved in all 5 parts of the Titantic special are really amazing. Great voice acting, great effects and great music. I am a real life friend of KaneFan701 and I will rate Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titantic…5 Mickey Mouse icons out of 5.”

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic, part 4. Boy, I’m telling you, it’s a good thing this is only 49 minutes. 

• 0:45 BRUMA: …unless Kairel here gets any larger! Ha ha ha!
• 0:47 Disney characters, for instance.
• 1:30 And now, footage from The Legend Goes On. Is Benny a fan at all of the rapping dog?
• 2:07 A feature film that will only be featured on the interwebs, and get followed only by the very easily amused.
• 3:11 JOHNNY: And not even my fur coat and sweater do anything!
• 3:16 It’s probably taken revenge on you for bringing robots into a fairy tale.
• 3:31 Taste the power of Horizontal Flip!
• 4:46 Way to try and imitate James Horner.
• 5:03 We can already see that! Stop reading everything the story tells you!
• 6:03 That voice is just insulting, and that’s only part of it.
• 6:18 Stop acting!
• 7:55 And they all were too dumb to know that this happened. People are enjoying a video where the main characters are total idiots. People……ah, forget it.
• 8:43 History has been ruined - Thomas didn’t even know he was talking to lions.
• 8:59 And not even the Captain was as smart as we thought. Like I said, we’re all doomed.
• 9:56 I don’t think I mentioned before how bad J. Bruce Ismay’s microphone is.
• 10:39 One of them will be “MUTANT LIONS HIJACK SHIP”.

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic, part 3. It seems that this wasn’t the documentary I expected after all. Even so it’s better made, though more insulting, than the Amazing Animals adventures.

• 0:49 *bangs his head on the wall* People love this…
• 1:47 What, is Johnny the kind of lion that does have a private area?
• 2:05 [link]
• 2:13 She’s giving us so much pointless information that she’s stuttering in the process.
• 2:21 They’re playing squash. WE GET IT. WE KNOW WHAT THE HELL SQUASH IS.
• 2:35 Cammy D. Gold.
• 2:40 Anyone else thinking he’s getting close to sounding a little bit like Peter Griffin?
• 2:45 Really? Because I’m quite close to sleeping.
• 3:02 Still got it? Since when?
• 3:34 A-Acting!
• 4:20 Benny?
• 4:50 This narrator gives off way too much information. Why am I the only one out of the 21 people who’s actually bored?
• 5:49 Cue the yaois…

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic, part 2. 20 likes? Nothing else? Fixable. *dislikes it*

• 0:35 And being caged up is better than watching this.
• 0:50 Blend in well? How so? They’re covered in fur!
• 1:54 *rolls eyes* What’s so bad about this video is that unlike the animated Titanic movies, it pairs its own characters with real people.
• 2:35 I can tell that they’re spinning in their graves even faster.
• 3:16 There’s much worse news that that. A bunch of furries are pissing on a thousand graves.
• 3:24 Just as much as they can handle lions running around on the ship.
• 3:45 Notice how they’re not wearing those suits they earned in part 1. Stop being so lazy and draw some more, at least!
• 4:14 King Louie makes a cameo, and appears to have shaven.
• 4:45 See what I mean?
• 5:02 *sarcastic shrug*
• 5:12 Tut tut, now they’re trying to be edgy with their crossovers yet again. It didn’t work in Beauty and the Beast, and it sure as hell won’t work in a frickin’ Titanic story.
• 5:30 And he escaped to a painless landing.
• 5:45 But he was on the ground earlier ago!
• 5:55 Which he already did.
• 6:05 Out of all the passengers, they cadged him?
• 6:09 Ughhhhhhh, this is from The Legend Goes On, isn’t it? Now it’s not just HunterXColleen I’m disturbed by.

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

Now, I will admit that when you read Benny’s channel description, he seems like a decent guy. He says he has a “big sense of humor” and a “big sense of generosity”. He also wrote a children’s book exclusively for Amazon.com and looks to find experience in becoming a professional animator. He also has a good taste in music, as he may not like country, but does enjoy classical.

That is, until you watch his videos. Because now, at the request of a single follower, I’m going to be riffing Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures on the Titanic.

• 1:49 Now, I’d like to remind you all that they’re not actually invading any of the Titanic movies. They’re basically travelling on the ship with the help of scenes from various movies and real life events. This doesn’t sound terrible, but it’s time-travelling furries on a ship where more than a thousand people died. Oh, brother.
• 1:56 The furries wrecked Disney World! We’re doomed already!
• 2:02 Trip to a theme park? Don’t they LIVE in a theme park?
• 2:48 I’d also like to remind you that this part has 28 likes and only a couple of dislikes. All for a racist baboon impersonation.
• 2:54 The end!
• 3:08 And of all the years you could pick, you had to offend us all. What next, getting a job in 2001?
• 3:19 Go back to the ark, why don’t you.
• 3:37 No wonder why he keeps making these videos.
• 4:04 So who’s going to be educated by this? Any suggestions?
• 4:18 No, it’s the Big Bang.
• 4:39 Just because Bugs Bunny could fool people when in drag, doesn’t mean that nobody will notice that you look like a lion!
• 4:41 Beige? What beige? It’s black and white!
• 4:44 Yet they seem to be taking it quite well.
• 4:54 And try not to scare the ticketmaster in the process!
• 5:38 And they call you a scientific genius?
• 5:47 TICKET MAN: LION! TALKING LION! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
• 6:18 And this got more respect than the Italian animated Titanic movies?
• 6:42 Looks like we have the only character who actually attended the second highest grossing movie ever made.
• 7:17 Jesus Christ, the captain from The Legend of the Titanic? Benny liked this movie too? Well, if he’s such a big fan of El Arca then I guess he’d enjoy just about anything.
• 7:44 I’d have to give this video some credit - they finally chose a plot point where the people actually take notice that Benny and the gang ain’t human.
• 7:50 And yet they actually turned into humans. Especially Rafiki, who turned into a dog.
• 8:41 This we didn’t see in the movies. But will we actually learn anything from an El Arca fanboy?
• 8:56 Already we’re getting cluelessness from someone who thinks he’s feeling sorry for them when we’re really supposed to jizz at this.
• 9:23 Among those currently rolling their graves…
• 9:29 Implying that they actually are rich.

(Source: poohadventures.wikia.com)

And yes, it is going to be real.

Seeing as how good the Benny, Leo and Johnny’s Adventures Series is, I thought I should do a crossover series like Benny’s.

It was Trainboy’s birthday yesterday and he is now 20, apparently. What prizes did he get? Shooter games? A boxset of Breaking Bad? Nope, just some paints and toy trains. I’m 19 and I get better presents than this.

Anyway, here’s his audition for the voice of Rex. Personally, I don’t see any difference to his own voice in his impression, he already sounds like a hybrid of Wallace Shawn and that nerdy kid from The Polar Express.

0:08 Yes you are, Jon. Yes you are.

Alright, alright. One last Trainboy54 video for now. And it’s his latest episode, Trainboy54’s Adventures of Phineas and Ferb Episode 56: Monster from the Id, where the gang explores Candace’s mind. Just imagine if instead they explored Jon’s…

• 1:08 *insert subtitle saying “and Jon” here*
• 1:09 You’re using your phone.
• 1:39 How Jon talks is such a contrast to how quickly Candace talked just then.
• 2:09 Did some research this time. Jon stole Baljeet’s line. Like I said, life sucks with someone like him around.
• 3:42 I told you it was your phone. Dweeb.
• 3:52 And now he’s giving me seizures as a scheme of revenge. CURSE YOASDHLDGJS:PSGSGATU{(£$T
• 4:04 *insert Simpsons Movie joke here*
• 4:10 How the hell does he turn into a damn train?!
• 4:24 And how did he get in there if he isn’t plugged in?
• 4:41 And how can a train like that even move in an environment like this? Isn’t he too big anyways?
• 5:09 Actinnnng!
• 5:44 A screenshot of Thomas with a 54 written on his side and a poorly drawn face.
• 5:55 We still need an explanation to how Trainbastard got into Candace’s subconscious without plugging himself in, and somehow turned into a bloody train!
• 6:16 Or two thumbnails from Google Images, to be precise.
• 6:57 Wait, what do contact lenses have to do with Alice in Wonderland?
• 8:15 Trainbore just flipped his trainsona’s mouth vertically? Why couldn’t he do that in the first place?! Or just use the colour picker?
• 8:28 *facepalm* I fucking hate you…
• 8:59 That monster just appeared all of a sudden and you have to slow things down. Drink some coffee, damnit.
• 9:06 Trainbox, you are a TRAIN. Trains do not move sideways. Not even Thomas.
• 9:16 He used footage of Thomas this time? Why could he do THAT in the first place?
• 9:52 Oh, if only Trainbob was standing there.
• 10:37 HOW DID HE GET INSIDE WITHOUT BEING PLUGGED IN?
• 10:50 That face sums this all up.
• 10:53 Please answer my question! And why did he appear as a train?!
• 11:00 Act……….ing!
• 11:10 And this is best facial expression he could pull.
• 11:15 *insert running gag here*
• 11:28 Kommodore Guild! Oh, I finally said that!

• Line robbery: 
• Editing contradictions: 
• Thomas abuse: 
• Brain rape: 
• I can’t believe it’s not clopping: 

Overall: 5/5

0/10. What the hell is the point of these videos anyway? Does he think he can actually be funny just by copying the actions of a Channel Awesome reviewer, stating the obvious and taking over specific dialogue? And why do these get respect? He sounds like a deeper Eddie Deezen, his face can’t act and he ruins scenes that are supposed to be funny as if he doesn’t have a sense of humour. Well, that’s just about enough making fun of Trainbaby54. Tune in next time where I hopefully return to everyone’s favourite crossover victim!

Here is what Trainboy calls a “Fail Reel”. Pff, yeah, like he didn’t already show any sign of failure in the episode itself.

Which music label is Trainboy54 a part of?

Virgin Records!

ROFLMAO! Anyway, we’re going to be looking at another video by this interesting specimen known as Trainboy54. In this episode, he joins his friends to celebrate Mom’s birthday. No, not his Mom’s. *eyes that Halloween video of his* Anyway, here's Trainboy54’s Adventures of Phineas and Ferb Episode 35: Mom’s Birthday. Boy, this better not have a musical number…

• 0:02 Oh, please. Really?
• 0:11 The face of Jon as he was editing this.
• 0:20 My eyes were already bleeding. My ears won’t take the same kind of torture!
• 0:21 Fans? There are fans?
• 0:34 Yeah, because you’ve only gotten evidence from a few people.
• 1:39 Agh, it’s the exact same subtitles from The Eds’ Adventures of the PPG Movie!
• 2:26 You, on the other hand…
• 2:46 [link]
• 2:59 Points for not dubbing them.
• 3:02 Life isn’t the same when you’ve got a douchebag Eddie Deezen helping the boys out.
• 3:15 Hey! It’s the subtitles from Rarity’s Adventures of Amazing Animals!
• 3:31 [link]
• 4:20 Worst birthday present EVER.
• 4:36 Beautiful? It’s as beautiful as Foodfight!
• 4:40 A cameo made just to steal lines!
• 5:13 Oh, jeez. Wouldn’t that hurt your brain?
• 5:59 Doofenschmirtz should be Candace and the arrow sign should be Jon.
• 7:25 Wait. We can’t have a Phineas and Ferb scene without a manchild Captain Obvious now, can we?
• 8:45 He has three arms. I knew it.
• 8:49 Of course they cant hold them up. They’re trains. And they can’t fit in a backyard!
• 8:51 You could at least have printed that out, jackass.
• 8:53 The guy that everyone loves, ladies and gentlemen!
• 8:57 ACKLEY: Because, as we all know, that’ll never happen to us!
• 9:13 Stop ruining the fast pace with your slow-paced blabber.
• 9:53 I’m supposed to be laughing here, you fucking idiot!
• 10:01 And that is how crossover adventure videos are made!
• 10:20 Stop it. You’re not a cartoon. I repeat. YOU’RE NOT A CARTOON.
• 10:23 At least share a house so that we could get some logic in this crossover.
• 10:41 And thank God you didn’t.
• 10:56 And poor Jon’s just sitting there, realising that he needs to be educated better.
• 11:36 Can’t you at least sit in your own backyard?
• 11:56 Trainboy’s a giiiirrrrl! Trainboy’s a giiiirrrrl!
• 12:16 Plus for actually getting a guitar, unlike the guy who just got a microphone copy-pasted onto his shoulder.
• 12:26 Minus for trying to sing.
• 12:33 Plus for lip-syncing.
• 12:43 Minus for singing. Poorly.
• 12:55 Which was ruined by a dumb Mandark.

• Captain Obvious: 
• Captain Obnoxious: 
• Lack of humour sense: 
• Train faggotry: 
• MS Paint: 

Overall: 6/5

-0.2/10. I’m actually liking what I’ve seen from this Phineas and Ferb show, and I should being the Bounty Hamster fanboy I am. But I think I’d rather watch more episodes without this annoying tramp. Crossover adventure creators cross the line when they invade such comedy as this, and yet their supporters still get entertainment as if it was 100% homemade. Case in point - god damned videos like this. Will I review another? One more, and I’ll take a rest and move on to Pooh. But we’ll just have to see which ones end up worse than this…

Trainboy54’s Adventures of Phineas and Ferb Episode 55: Sci-Fi Pie Fly, part 2. What’s ultimately confusing me is how he turned from a train into a human. Ah, this is Pooh’s Adventures, though. Why should logic and reason matter?

• 1:29 Harley Davidson and zombie posters?
• 1:44 BAWWW HAW HAWWWWW
• 1:50 Poor kid doesn’t even have a real phone.
• 2:44 Trainboy and Candace, sitting in a tree! V-I-R-G-IN-I-TY!
• 3:01 Just from that single word, my ears are already burning.
• 3:02 Eh, this is badly edited and embarrassing, but less offensive than luisbonilla.
• 3:03 
• 3:09 That “hey” was even worse than the last one!
• 3:18 Okay you guys, I’m finally laughing.
• 3:39 *steals a joke from Madison Skull* NEIGHBOUR: Honey, that special needs kid is jumping around singing to his imaginary girlfriend again! WIFE: Now, hush dear, ignore him. He’s just unintentionally making himself famous.
• 4:23 Same goes for you, Trainboy. Do something better with your life!
• 5:00 If only this got more views so that the dislike count could be redder than Friday.
• 6:10 That was the worst filler in the history of filler.
• 6:14 Any of you guys noticed that this is called Trainboy’s Adventures and yet all he is doing is talking to Candace?
• 8:30 We now interrupt this hilarious adventure to bring you a manchild’s lonely Vblog.
• 8:57 ACTING!
• 9:21 Hardy har har. Hyukity hyuk. Yuck.
• 9:44 You’re breaking the rules of miming - no talking. Or else you explode.
• 9:48 Now Trainboy’s being creepy in two ways.

• Virginity: 
• Virginity: 
• Virginity: 
• Virginity: 
• Virginity: 

Overall: 10/5

-1/10. Good effin’ Lord. This guy just might be the worst case of self insertion in the Pooh’s Adventures community. Not even nose-pickers and live-action Peter Griffins can be this embarrassing. Not even Benny’s gang could sing that bad. Not even Reese could be this annoying. Not even I act that stupid at my age. Will I be doing any more videos from this guy? Unfortunately, I plan to. See you on the next episode!

We now return to Trainboy! I wanted a video to riff where Trainboy has a beard and the second part isn’t blocked, and I did manage to find one. Time to watch a whole Phineas and Ferb episode for real this time! Begin Trainboy54’s Adventures of Phineas and Ferb Episode 55: Sci-Fi Pie Fly.

• 0:31 Ugh, I don’t even need to watch the first episodes. He probably didn’t have a beard at that time. Also, he is supposed to be Trainboy himself, hence the “54”. Jesus H. Christ.
• 0:52 As a good friend of mine asked, HOW DO REAL TRAINS MANAGE TO FIT INSIDE A BASEMENT?
• 0:59 There’s already a talking train in your team, so anything’s possible!
• 1:24 The problem with these videos is that in scenes that show all the people listening, the editing is too cheap to include whoever the creator wants to involve.
• 1:43 Hear that bit of the music ending? That’s what these Pooh’s Adventures videos are all about - forcing questions into answers that don’t even need them.
• 2:22 More good humour ruined by a fecking train.
• 2:24 And he’s wearing grey lipstick.
• 2:39 Shouldn’t you be outside helping them? You’re already a manchild.
• 4:39 Why is he using this effect? Whoever he’s trying to cover up, he’s not doing a very good job at it.
• 4:44 Yes, people like even this.
• 4:55 Good idea! Have fun on My Strange Addiction.
• 5:13 Well, the Tri-State Area is officially doomed.
• 5:31 Trainboy, 1. You’re ruining a joke, and 2. That’s a very bad print.
• 5:40 Forget-your-lines cuts! Forget-your-lines cuts everywhere!
• 5:49 My face right now.
• 5:54 TB, we can still hear the guy you’re trying to replace.
• 5:58 Me too! *clicks the X button*
• 6:02 You paused too early, Trainboy.