Heck No Pooh's Adventures

(Part Two here)

The Jon McDowell Self-Esteem Hour is brought to you by Dr. Phiebe’s Speech Therapy Institution.

Pooh’s adventures of Lego Pirates of the Caribbean the Video Game, part 7. I warned Reese to not make this thing drag on for hours. I advised him to cut out the boring bits. He just didn’t listen.

• 2:04 Desperation!
• 4:34 Some adventurers you are.

Pooh’s adventures of Lego Pirates of the Caribbean the Video Game, part 6. PEOPLE LIKE THIS.

• 1:02 This is the only crossover shot in the video. The rest is boring bullshit.

Pooh’s adventures of Lego Pirates of the Caribbean the Video Game, part 5. The villain meeting commences. Cue the evil laughter montage.

• 0:06 Why would they need an introduction like that when the villains already appeared so abruptly?
• 0:12 Smithers may not be very true to his character, but Reese sure got it better than EA did.
• 0:18 How can Reese even read that?
• 0:24 Again, why is he a villain? Because he cusses so much? Because he trashed the Power Rangers movie? I mean, he LOVES the Animaniacs, so why the hell is he evil in these videos?
• 0:34 Oh, what it would be like if AVGN Bugs was used as a reaction shot for Bugs himself.
• 0:50 Movie Maker is so weak it’s causing millisecond-long sound glitches when clips are muted.
• 0:55 Now Pinky and the Brain are villains? Wile E. I understand perfectly, but Pinky and the Brain? Just because they plot to take over the world, doesn’t mean they are legitimately sinister.
• 0:58 Jeez Louise, the splicing is so bad.
• 1:09 Is it so hard just to say “rule the Lego world?”
• 1:48 Well, at least we won’t have Reese explaining what happens next to the newcomers. Yet.
• 2:36 Finally, some new Bowser footage. And it still has its own captions! God damn!
• 2:48 I bet Reese had no problem at all playing Sonic the Glitch-hog.
• 2:59 Agh, I was wearing headphones!
• 3:05 Good thing there’s a Kraken in this game, or this would be completely ridiculous.

Pooh’s adventures of Lego Pirates of the Caribbean the Video Game, part 4. At least he didn’t cast Banana Bat.

• 1:28 Um… Fitting?
• 1:31 Not quite as much as having their faces scraped when trying to get all 10,000 of themselves down there.
• 3:04 Not a logical response to someone getting killed. At least Turdie put some sense into it.
• 3:15 You bet your animated asses you are, you stalkers.
• 3:45 ONE OF THE VILLAINS: Look! *points at Meowth’s forehead* Gold!
• 3:48 I dunno, it’s really quite a large amount.

Comments:

• “Nice job on part 4. I liked the part where our heroes went down the chimney.”

Pooh’s adventures of Lego Pirates of the Caribbean the Video Game, part 3. At least Yakko himself has some sort of regret about the amount of characters he casts!

• 1:13 How could he tell that early that he will have an adventure?
• 1:17 Reese must have a real hard-on for someone who only appeared in two episodes.
• 1:20 Just because multiple trips on the ride are fun doesn’t mean this is okay!
• 1:27 He’s busy having wet dreams of Numbuh 5 involving him in bondage.
• 1:36 Numbuh 5 making out with her real husband, a fat, smarter kid named Numbuh 2.
• 1:40 He was too horny to draw it better!
• 1:44 No he hasn’t. It’s his kink.
• 1:52 Dude, she didn’t even punch you.
• 1:58 STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL. This is making Class of Nuke'Em High Part III look clever.
• 2:49 Just for staring at him?
• 3:53 Just because this stuff is fun when you’re playing it or at least taking guidance from it doesn’t mean it will be fun as a legitimate movie.

Pooh’s adventures of Lego Pirates of the Caribbean the Video Game, part 2. Let’s be glad he’s not tackling the movies themselves.

• 0:00 Still a better way to open a Pooh’s Adventure than the desert.
• 0:13 And also a perfect candidate for game-jumping jokes.
• 0:16 What makes this so bad already is that they actually mention that it already exists but they’re going to go on an adventure inside it anyway.
• 0:18 TIGGER: For a while, but YouTube busted our asses before we could meet a Jewish alien.
• 0:26 Another case of unreadable subtitles in the way!
• 0:30 Her expression suggests otherwise.
• 0:35 So what’s the point of this then?!
• 0:42 Oh goodness, Reese’s possessed by the Ghost of Blackbeard.
• 0:53 How on God’s great Earth is that worthy of any sort of punishment?
• 1:00 Originally it was going to be an S&M, but Reese remembered that it would lose him some subscribers.
• 1:02 Pfffffffft
• 1:06 Knocked off? Thanks, talking hands, now we have one less cast member!
• 1:20 I mean, really. What is the point? They’ve been talkative since LEGO Batman 2, after all.
• 2:26 
• 2:31 This makes just about as much sense as Jack Sparrow riding Mr. Incredible’s hoverboard.
• 2:35 No, he’s THE Captain Jack Sparrow. He should ask “How did you know my name” or something.
• 2:39 SKIP. It’s exactly half of the video anyway and carries on for a minute in the beginning of the third part.
• 3:37 Did he just call Captain Jack Sparrow “Banana Bat”?! (Yakko’s comment left me two things more to nitpick on)
• 5:28 “My n*cut off*

According to the creator:

i Don’t Know if i Can Cause i Worked So Hard on it i Hope you Understand.

The other teaser looks like this.

Last week arrived a game called Disney Infinity, the second time you will ever get to play a toy Jack Sparrow who dismembers when he dies. The game’s a lot of fun, but if you have a PS3 upstairs then good luck getting it all to work. And so, as I wait for my chance to send it back so that Sulley can actually work, I think I should wake up and get back to riffing. Yakko’s postponed his LEGO Star Wars crossover because of copyright laws spoiling the whole “double feature” gig. Whatever, it dragged on for so long it might as well have been longer than War and Peace. In response, Reese has struck back by making another Pooh’s Adventure out of a LEGO game. So let’s look at Pooh’s adventures of Lego Pirates of the Caribbean the Video Game, part 1, shall we?

• 0:01 A gameplay watermark. Our first sign of a true shipwreck.
• 0:37 Wouldn’t it hurt to use the DisneyToon Studios logo? Because barely any of the Pooh footage these people use comes from the original Disney animation studio anyway except when they use the old and recent movies.
• 0:52 Three Disney logos in a row. Wouldn’t the first one be enough?
• 1:42 This logo looks like it was compiled together by a bull’s dick spurting diarrhea over a slobbering, vomiting donkey’s asshole!
• 1:53 All these years, and they still can’t do anything to cover up the fact that it’s taken from a Halloween video.
• 2:05 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
• 2:06 It’s the reason I couldn’t riff any more of the last Lego video!
• 2:15 It’s going to get worse, folks - Yakko’s planning Pooh’s Adventures of Foodfight.
• 2:18 Why are the vultures so common with these guys anyway?
• 2:21 A lesson on how not to make a crossover.
• 2:29 Really, you had all that footage and all you could use was this?
• 2:46 A little teaser of how fun this adventure’s going to be.
• 2:57 Why use the same episode of The Simpsons? Is it so hard to find a couch gag on YouTube?
• 3:04 Worst attempt at extending a song ever.
• 3:10 The only Godzilla footage that actually suits these videos!
• 3:11 We’ll never forget the day he married a little human girl.
• 3:14 In what way is the entire TGWTG cast evil again?
• 3:25 The problem with adding Bugs and Daffy is that we won’t see them in the same shot as a Disney character.
• 3:32 Why must you cast a parody of Bart Simpson and then add the real Bart Simpson in the same crossover?

More proof that Yakko likes absolutely everything.

Remember folks, this intro is made by the same guy who said Mickey Mouse has NO personality (BULLFUCK!!!).

youtubeclassics:

“Pooh’s Adventures of Phil of the Future intro” by Reese Ambler

Check out this abomination of a Pooh’s Adventures film.

It’s almost like some kind of joke, because some of those pictures really cracked me the hell up.